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Well, what were your "good" reasons for doing it? If you really feel that it was a good thing to do, then why is it such a struggle to explain it to your daughter? I've had to explain a few rather unpleasant medical experiences to my kids, but never had any trouble with it, since they were all necessary, so I just explained the reasons. Perhaps the reason you're having trouble with explaining it to your daughter is that you're having regrets about the circumcision? Many, many parents have realised after the fact that their "good" reasons for circumcising their sons weren't as compelling as they seemed at the time.
Hi Lilyann. Welcome to MDC! I am going to move this post to the childhood years forum. I do want to give you a heads up though. Mothering does not support routine infant circumcision, so the answers you recieve may not be exactly what you are looking for.
I also want to remind everyone to be respectful. This is a new poster who has come here for advice. Be gentle!
I would be very matter-of-fact about it and not treat it as a big deal. Just be reassuring that her baby brother is okay.
I personally believe that, as parents, we make lots of choices for our kids, This is just one of them. And we all try to make the best choices possible.
yk, this exactly is one of the (many) reasons i chose to NOT circumcise my son. first off, why would i want to cut healthy functioning body tissue from his newborn body? but to your question: the so called "medical" reasons that the doctors use to "sell" you on circumcision usually include a lower risk of sexually transmitted disease. WHAT? you gonna explain THAT to your 5 year old daughter?
or that there is an extremely slight (i believe it's 1/10 of 1 percent) reduced instance of urinary tract infections during the first year of life. if you tell that to your kid, i will bet that they will see right through it, and wonder why the instance of infection would not be greater being that the raw injury is exposed to pee and poop.
kids ask the best questions because they have no filter for prejudice.
i would humbly suggest that you allow this experience with your daughter's questions to open your mind to the idea that the surgery was indeed NOT necessary. that could trigger a flood of regret, and i feel for you in that.
but the bottom line reason that people circumcise their sons in our country is merely because "that's what people do (here)." it is no different than female circumcision in parts of Africa. the only difference is that our culture is accustomed to circumcising boys only.
That's a hard thing to have to talk about.
My oldest boy is circumcised. I have three younger boys who are not. We explained to all of them that when ds11 was a baby, we thought that's what you did and that we were wrong, so we didn't have it done with the other boys. I have apolgized to 11yo ds.
Personally, I don't agree with circumcision. But you have your reasons as do I. And what's done it done.
Just don't make a big deal of it and reassure her that he's fine. What more can you do. She's only young and she will just forget about it once he heals.
Congrats and enjoy your son!
Hey guys, what's done is done, and she can't exactly go back and un-circ him, so what is the point in chastising her about it?
Welcome to MDC, Lilyann. I don't personally believe in circumcision, but that isnt really the issue at hand. The issue is how to talk to your DD about it without worrying her. If I were in your situation, I'd say something like, "I know you noticed little brother's booboo the other day. I don't want you to worry about him- he is going to be okay. When we get booboos our bodies have a way of healing them. Remember to always let Mommy know if you have a booboo anywhere." Done.
She's a five year old- she doesnt need to know all the details. I do encourage you to check out the MDC circ board. There are a lot of moms here who have circumcised their children and then changed their minds about circing future children. But, what's done is done and even if you do decide it was a mistake, you have to forgive yourself and move on.
You certainly walked into this one! Just remember, just because people on this board think your choices are wrong, it does not mean it is. I am sorry that you came looking for support here and you got the wrong kind. Walk away from this post if you haven't yet already; there is nothing here for you.
And by the way, your daughter will be fine. So will your son. I imagine, by now, your son is on the way to healing and the conversation has moved on anyway.