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Weekly Chat - September 10-16 - Page 9

post #161 of 283
Mole-- I understand your conflict quite well (being a longer gestator myself... though my first three were hospital inductions having not really been exposed to or aware of other options). My take on it all, fwiw.... An out-of-hospital experience is very important to me. If there is no reason (beyond postdates) for a hospital birth, I don't want one. Laws in my state also dictate that my homebirth midwife cannot attend my homebirth beyond 42 weeks. Therefore, I would rather try to encourage things to happen before that time. Especially being absolutely sure of dates. And realky, you can encourage all you want (via EPO, cervical /membrane sweeps, blue cohosh, castor oil, etc), but if baby truly is not ready, it won't matter. I guess I find some comfort in that since you really cannot FORCE baby out before he or she is ready. That's my take on it all anyway.

AFM-- walked two miles this morning once it warmed up a bit (we had a freeze warning last night and it got down to 32*!). Still pregnant and no contractions, but feeling a lot of low pressure... like rectum area. Odd sensation. My mom and dad have a friendly wager between them for guessing Baby Five's birthday. My mom picked today, but I'm thinking she won't win. My dad picked Saturday sand that's been my guess from the beginning (41 weeks).
post #162 of 283

Mole, I totally get how you are feeling. I was there with my first, and I hated being in the position of feeling like I needed to try and force things along to get the birth I wanted.


As far as why your babe is taking a little longer, I think the first thing to remember is that studies based on real gestational length show that 41 weeks 1 day is about average. This idea that 40 weeks is average is just plain wrong, so at this point you are just average, and no where near the extreme end of the curve.


In your position, I think I'd be looking at EPO, and all the really natural techniques for helping things along right now. I'm a little nervous about the cohoshes and castor oil, and I'd be tempted to save them until closer to 42 weeks.


I'll cross my fingers that your baby makes an appearance in the next couple days and then you'll have nothing to worry about!

post #163 of 283

Katt- my cycles were 26-28 days long, and the month I conceived would have been 26 or 27 days long based on when I ovulated and my typical luteal phase length.


Judy- I agree with you that the out-of-hospital experience is important to me. I talked to one of my friends after posting earlier, and he pointed out that the birth isn't only when the fetus becomes a baby, it's also when I become a mother and my wants are also important, and that the small risk of infection from the cervical stimulation has to be balanced against my desire to birth at the birthing clinic. He reminded me that I drink tea even though it is not "ideal" for the fetus's health because I am still a person, and the needs/wants of me and my child will always have to be balanced. He said making this decision is good practice for when I am a parent :).


Carlin- I know I am still in the normal gestation length. That's totally part of my frustration. I'm emotionally fine with the fetus staying in as long as it needs, but I have institutional limitations. I am 41+3 today which is absolutely normal. I HATE that my birthing clinic has the cutoff for me on Saturday despite their being no statistical increase in difficult birth or fetal death for someone of my age up to 42 weeks. I looked up the weekly statistics in my country by age, and there is an increase in fetal death for women over 35 going over 41 weeks, and they just want one rule for everyone, so I guess I can understand it... I decided not to use EPO because I only found the pure oil in one store, and it was $50/bottle and I couldn't justify that. Maybe that was a stupid decision. We're having sex every other day, walking a lot, and I've been  going to acupuncture twice/week.


Thanks everyone for your compassion and understanding. I can't believe how much my feelings about being pregnant changed from yesterday to today, getting close to that ultrasound appointment and birthing clinic time limit... I think I'm pretty anxious about the ultrasound (I haven't had one until now) and how this might be the start of the medicalization of my until-now un-medicalized pregnancy. 

post #164 of 283

And the landlord is here AGAIN. After my husband spoke to him about giving us privacy and leaving us alone TODAY. He had this conversation TODAY. Does this man not understand what we are saying?!? Please don't come here anymore for a little bit. Just don't show up on the premises until we've had our baby. He never gives us 24 hour notice, which is in the freakin' lease. I am STEAMING right now. If i have no clue when this guy is going to pop by, I'm not going to feel safe enough in my space to let this thing unfold naturally. 


I want to cry. All I'm asking for is an ounce of predictability in this ridiculously unpredictable time. 


Mole, I hear you. My cycles are long and I may end up running late anyways. I ovulated on day 21, not 14. But because of how the world does things, I will probably still be considered 41 weeks even though I'm probably more like 40 at that point. 

post #165 of 283

hug2.gif Mole, I totally get the frustration and fear that nonsensical rules are going to make it impossible for you to do what's best for both of you. Sending lots and lots of labour vibes your way. Come on out baby! You'll make it so much easier for everyone!


Ascher, that's a tough situation! Hopefully he'll stop hanging around after today. What a pain!


AFM, I had a good workout this morning and actually ran a little and did some cardio in addition to some strength training. I'm feeling pretty good, which considering I'm only 39 weeks, is probably a good thing. I'm still not feeling in a big hurry (although I can't seem to convince anyone else of that!) but I did find myself buying pineapple yesterday. It can't hurt, right?

post #166 of 283

My mom is a long gestator...  her MW always called her a 41-weeker... you're right someone has to be there... I am planning on going late again (maybe I will be surprised!), w/ ds I was 40w 4d according to MWs calendar, 41w exactly according to mine irked.gif It's super frustrating!


I am officially at the point where I am trying to schedule my labor around life. My mom will be out of town this weekend, though only 2 1/2 hrs away, and DH is getting a wisdom tooth pulled on tuesday, going late wouldn't be awful just because of that... I also would prefer to have the baby during the day because it would make the logistics with DS a lot easier... Ugh


On the plus side I have gotten a decent amount done today. I got a few foods that will keep for a while for the birth team, like yogurt and such. baked two pizzas and some chicken for the freezer. I also felt well enough to make dinner last night!

post #167 of 283

long gestator here too. one thing that is sorta nice to think about  statistically is you probably will have the baby by 42 weeks and I think if you are pretty much in early labor on the day of the 42 weeks, I bet they let you slide. My MW did, at least. I started labor about 12 hrs before I was to go in for my 42 week NST.


I saw those stats on long gestation but you have to know that as sad as it is, some fetus in that group probably had other issues. meaning its not b/c of long gestation that the outcome wasn't good. it was b/c there something up w/ the fetus. Not that that makes one feel all that good but the cause/effect is different than you think.

post #168 of 283

And now landlord wants to stop by for 5 minutes tomorrow to give us a "gift"?!? Seriously, don't like the mixed messages here. I don't even want it.

Maybe the "gift" could be him listening to us (and the lease) and respecting our wishes? So now I have to tell him "thank you" tomorrow? I guess DH called him again and asked him to at least let us know if he's stopping by. What the heck is the graceful way of handling this?


I am enjoying blaming this craziness on my pregnancy. Because I am seriously a crazy woman right now.

post #169 of 283
Thread Starter 

I feel like such a wimp now because my EDD is on Saturday, so I'm not even 40 weeks yet, and today I feel like I hit the wall.. I've had pretty good energy lately but today I'm just so tired, so sick of hurting, and just want to not be pregnant already. I've been trying to rest and am near tears because it hurts to lie down. (And sit up. And I "can't" recline because of the OP deal, which could delay labor even further.. urrrgh). I have no idea how long my mother went with any of her three children, nevermind her female relatives, and my dad is useless on that count (me: what do you remember? him: we went to the hospital, you were born, you had hip dysplasia). My cycles average 30-32 days and my EDD of 9/15 is based on 32- would've been Tuesday based on a 28-day cycle. Like mole, I have basically planned to go to 41 or beyond for the whole pregnancy, so I feel intellectually/emotionally okay with the waiting, but this other factor--in my case, feeling worn down by constant discomfort/pain--is making it tough to deal.


Hoping nukuspot has had some activity today- I know she's 41 weeks and (compared to me!) really deserves a break from the physical stuff. 


ETA, ascher- I'd have your husband call back and say you're not feeling well and your doctor said you need as much rest as possible, that the gift idea is thoughtful but it would be helpful if he could wait. It sounds like this guy is a real piece of work that's not hearing anything you guys are saying to him so it may not get through to him.. ugh. I'd be looking for a new place to live. And in the meantime, maybe a gentle reminder about that clause in your contract is in order?

post #170 of 283

Thanks Hyde but nope.  Nothing here.  Well nothing birth related that is.  I had another super stressful day today with DD and preschool.  She was a wreck, clinging and crying for me not to leave her.  It really was so stressful and hard.  I stayed for an hour but there were 2 other kids going through similar separation anxiety issues and the teacher didn't think it was fair for me to be there and their parents not to be.  So I left and I could hear her wailing from outside, I started crying (she didn't see that) but somehow drove away.  I stayed away for 2 hours and then couldn't take it anymore, I drove back with the thought of withdrawing her from school.  But when I got there she was fine!  She was playing in the sandbox with two other kids and the teacher said she did much better than Tuesday.  So I am hoping she turned a corner.  I guess I will keep trying it and if it gets better each time we will stick with it, but I can't even imagine going through 2 days a week like this with a newborn in tow (that is:  If the newborn ever comes out) especially because the preschool is 25-30 minutes drive each way.  At the time I thought it was worth it for a highly recommended Waldorf preschool, but that was only if she was going to enjoy it!


So nothing laborish going on.  No contractions.  Just the everpresent pressure and nerve pains down my legs.  No more mucus, no bloody show, nothing.  I'm 41 weeks today.  I totally understand where Mole is coming from.  I also have a cutoff of 42 weeks for a homebirth, plus my MW is going to bring her son to college at 42 weeks exactly.  So I have a double cutoff.  It's a week away and it feels ominous.  I need to start fetal survellance (AFI/NST) every 2 days on Monday as per my MW's guidelines.  While the midwifery part of me understands why, the pregnant lady part of me just doesn't want to start any interventions, as I worry they lead down a slippery slope.  I will not refuse them but I am just really hoping I will go into labor before Monday. 


I'm not even a long gestator, DD was a labor started spontaneously at 39 weeks (born at 39+3)!  So I don't know where this 41+ weeker is coming from....I'm on day one of my second 2 day homeopathic labor induction (with a 2 day break in the middle), I have/had 3 acupuncture appts this week, I went to the chiro and massage, even had a small hike (which is really hard to do with all my pelvic ligament/pain issues from this pregnancy) and DTD with DH (which was also super uncomfortable and awkward but we managed it...Once, a few days ago.)  I really only had one good 6 hour period of contractions, and that was after my last membrane sweep.  I have another MW appt tomorrow and will ask again for a super vigorous one.  Otherwise, it might be castor oil for me mid-next week, which I REALLY don't want after living the nightmare of hypermemesis earlier this pregnancy, but would do if it was a choice between that and a hospital induction.


I tried to have a nap just before after the stressful,preschool morning, and my mother (who is on week 3+ of staying with us waiting for labor, as we thought I would have another 39 weeker) woke me up right as I fell asleep to tell me DD had a tiny yeast infection.  Ugh.  That is no reason to wake someone up!  It could have waited an hour.  DD gets them often (it's probably more of a toilet paper irritation than actual yeast) if people other than us wipe her (like at preschool).  She just has a really sensitive vagina I guess.  But seriously, not an emergency.  So now I'm sleepy and grouchy and blah.


Ascher I totally don't think you are being unreasonable.  Just call him back and say you will catch up with him AFTER the birth!  I had a landlord similar to that, he was always coming by out of nowhere to do some sort of work.  Now, I was happy he cared about the property, but it felt really invasive.  And I was just a student then, not a pregnant lady.  It was one of the reasons we stopped renting and bought a house.  So I understand. 

post #171 of 283
Originally Posted by WindyCityMom View Post

Ascher - i would definitely take the EPO both orally and vaginally. black cohosh is the one for the cervix, but I wouldn't use it if I wasn't trying to induce. personally id try homeopathic black cohosh, aka cimicifuga. make sure you're drinking lots of red raspberry leaf tea to help make any Bh you have more effective. gl!

The cimicifuga is Black Cohosh, the blue is caulophyllum.  I usually recommend trying the homepathic versions before the herbal versions myself.  (And I am taking it currently, actually!)  There are a few dosing protocols with the homeopathics.  One is to take them alternately every 15 minutes for an hour (so 2 times cimicifuga 2 times caulophyllum) then stop and wait for the next day, and restart.  The one I am doing now is a little more intensive, it is taking a dose each hour, rotating between the two and also another homeopathic (gelsemium) with one dose per hour for 8-10 hours.  Stop, restart the next morning.  Then a 2 day break and you can restart.  Does it work?  Who knows.  But IMO it's safer than taking the herbal version of blue cohosh, and black by itself doesn't work well alone.  Homeopathics can't hurt you, the worst they can do is just not work!


EPO is also helpful if you are not very effaced.  It doesn't do much for dilation, but can help soften things up a lot.

post #172 of 283

nukuspot -- I'm in the same boat with DS and his little mother's day out program at our church. He cried at dropoff for a whole month last year (well, twice a week for a month.) He ended up absolutely loving it and learning so many fun things. Well, we had the summer off and of course he's cried at dropoff the first three times this year, but today was a breakthrough with just a little pouting and sad face, but no tears. His teachers say he does really well during the day and is becoming very chatty, so it's only a matter of time before he gets into his routine again. All of that to say that you should stick with it for a little while longer :) Each kid gets used to things in his own time, and your daughter may really grow to love her "playschool" days :)


AFM - I'll soon be 39 weeks and aside from more frequent, longer BH contractions, I don't see labor happening anytime soon... though it'd be nice so I can get some of the swelling out of my feet and the carpal tunnel tingly feeling out of my hands! I love reading the birth stories and hearing about other people's progress on this board, though! It's encouraging :)

post #173 of 283

Okay, after much lurking - I am joining in on the weekly chat thread.  I am not due until the 29th - so I feel like I will be here until the very end and will need some support when I am feeling like the only one without a babe.  It's kinda fun checking in everyday and seeing new LO's born and women in labor when it's not quite me yet.  It would really be a shock if I were to have this baby anytime soon, I am not feeling 100% prepared, but hopefully I am getting there...  For some reason this pregnancy felt like it was a lot more about me just being pregnant than it was actually having another LO, I still am having trouble wrapping my head around really having another baby of my own.


Ascher:  Yuck, about your landlord!  DH recently let a friend stay in our basement while he house hunted.  It was bad, I just really need my own space/family to feel completely relaxed, especially while pregnant and on the verge of birth, all you want is too feel comfortable.  I totally feel for you right now hug2.gif

Edited by nelson - 9/13/12 at 9:35pm
post #174 of 283

Ok now I am super stressed!  I just got an automated phone call from the medical imaging office in town "confirming my appointment" for Monday at 2.  I assumed it was about the fetal survellance, so I called my MW to ask her what it was.  She said she was scheduling me an NST/BPP/AFI before she left town.  I was under the impression she was leaving after I was 42 weeks. (A week from today) but no!  She leaves 8am on Wed, so I would be just 41+6.  So I have until 41+5 to have my baby with her.  That's just 5 more days!  I realized I have no idea if the MW is uses for backup would be comfortable with me going a few days over 42 weeks (as I know my MW would because I was her student for a year and a half) and I am NOT going to go to the hospital for a pitocin induction if baby is doing fine and it's just an arbitrary 42 week issue and all fetal survellance is favorable.


I know she will want me to take castor oil on Monday (41+4) and I have mixed feeling about it.  Having lived through hyperemesis vomiting really scares me.  So I ended up calling lots of my friends who are midwives all evening to try to find my own backup who will be willing to take me if I go over 42 weeks.  I found a great wonderful ex-classmate of mine who said sure...But she lives up in Seattle, which is a good distance away.  So I am trying to find a more local backup, and will talk with my own MW tomorrow about all my options I guess.  But this time limit is hitting hard and fast and I admit it has really thrown me for a loop.

post #175 of 283

Nukuspot - I'm so sorry about all that's going on with you! I hope baby decides to come and you don't have to stress about it anymore!


Ascher - I may have missed this but does your landlord just randomly pop in w/o calling? That would tick me off too, pregnant or not! I do understand how thigs can seem worse while pregnant, but I do not that I think you are overreacting... he seems very strange in  any case...


Hyde - I'm sorry you're in so much pain! We are definitely in the "no fun" zone of pregnancy!


Any whooo I am FINALLY getting sleepy, so I wish the mamas with activity good luck and maybe we will see another birth story or two tomorrow!

post #176 of 283
Originally Posted by nelson View Post
I am not due until the 29th - so I feel like I will be here until the very end and will need some support when I am feeling like the only one without a babe.


Just a pop in to say, Nelson!!! I will be here too. (: Don't worry. My babe isn't due until the 27th and I think there are a few other mamas due at the end of the month as well. 

post #177 of 283

had a cervical exam today and then a walk around the mall and then when i got home had a little bloody mucas and im trying to figure out if im starting to loose some of my mucas plug or if this would just be bleeding due to the cervical exam......im dialated to two as i have been my last two appointments where i was also checked but this is the first time ive had any blood, and i had some crampy, contractions at the mall.....idk lol i feel a little dumb, with my first i had my water break and never had any bloody show that i noticed so i just dont know

post #178 of 283

SMM- Maybe the cervical exam stirred things up in there?  Keep us posted, hope it means something for you! :)  
I've had bloody show three times now.. the first was during my pit induction at about 4cm, the second was after a membrane sweep (didn't result in labor) and the third was post membrane sweep (though I'm still having it) and didn't result in labor either.  I'd *love* it if my waters were to break to signal labor starting.  Such a clear cut way to know, lol.  Gl!


AFM -  Late third trimester insomnia isn't cool.  Then again, I did have a hefty 4.5 hour nap (so did the kids! shocker!) earlier.  Trying to find something to do with myself.  Even had sex lol.gif that usually knocks me right out!  But nope, not at all.  Hey, prostagladins, right?  

post #179 of 283
Awake at midnight. I'm crampy and can't sleep. Feels like I have to use bathroom but can't go. I've had this feeling before so not going to hold my breath that it's going to turn into anything but it's nice to hope! Hmmm I might have just had a contraction!? I seriously can't tell anymore after weeks of crampy feelings with baby at +1...
post #180 of 283
3am and i'm right there with you nukuspot. Woke up crampy about 1.5hrs ago after having stronger bh contrax yesterday. I sure hope this will lead to something. Also i'm losing mucus, not like wcm but just snotty stuff lol smile.gif. I will try to get my mind off the cramps with some online shows. Dont wanna freak anybody out in the house just yet. Babygirl is moving up a storm and i feel nauseous and PRESSURE with every contraction. Fingers crossed...i've been telling baby to come on the weekend for quite a while now since dh is off from school.
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