I have a different kind of question for you. Picture a two bedroom apartment, one bedroom is me and my husband's (our toddler also sleeps in the room) and the other is a guest bedroom/office. My father-in-law and sister-in-law are visiting at the end of the month and I just had a weird argument with my husband about who's going to sleep where. I said we'll give the guest bedroom to them both, where they can keep their luggage and belongings, and at nights his father can sleep there and his sister can sleep on a mattress in the living room.
Would you believe that this actually upset my husband? He wants his father in the guest bedroom, and his sister with me and the baby in the bedroom and he's going to sleep in the living room! We come from a culture where when there's little room and too many people the men and women divide into two groups and they all sleep separately, but in this case they are only 2 people and I don't see an issue why the sister who's in her mid 20s can't sleep in the living room!
My issue is that I don't want to separate from my husband for a whole month and share my bedroom with his sister instead! I mean am I asking for too much? I don't even know why he made such a big deal out of it! He thinks we'll be disrespecting them if I ask her to sleep in the living room! But what about disrespect to my wishes?!
2 weeks before giving birth to our daughter (2 years ago), 2 of his sisters and his father came to visit us and stayed for a month. The 2 girls ended up staying with me in the bedroom and my husband slept in the living room while his father slept in the guest bedroom
I got so upset at the time that my husband 'deserted' me when I needed him most. And ever since then we haven't slept together in the same bedroom. His excuse is that it's too hot for him there and the baby wakes him up 10 times at night and he just can't do it.
So when the topic of who will sleep where came up tonight he said why should it matter that his sister sleep with me in our bedroom when he doesn't sleep there anyway? And I got upset because I said it's about time that we start sleeping in our bedroom together because even our daughter has noticed that mommy and daddy have separate rooms! My husband spends so much time in his office/bedroom that whenever my daughter passes by it she'll point at it and say 'daddy' even when he's not in there :(
I'm really upset. I'm beginning to think my husband has fallen out of love with me. We've been married 4 and a half years and it just kills me inside that I have no special place within him. What do you make out of this story? Is it natural that when somebody comes stay with you and especially that length of time that you don't share your own bedroom with them? I tried explaining to him that even if it were my own sister I wouldn't ask her to come sleep in my bedroom for a whole month so my husband sleeps outside. I mean I don't get it.
My husband got very upset and he ended the conversation by saying that it's not me who decides who sleeps where and that I should have told him of this a week ago before they had bought their tickets so he would tell them not to come since they're not going to be welcome here by my actions. And all the while I'm thinking 'what'?!!!!!
I don't know really.. I know it's a strange situation. What would you do if you were in my position? Stand your ground and say you're not sharing your bedroom with anybody? Or share your bedroom with his sister for a month? If I choose the former I risk making my relationship with my husband even worse than it is. If I do the latter I betray my own principles. (But not having my husband with me on this one doesn't really make it worth anything)
I even told him fine we'll give them the bedrooms and you, me and our daughter will sleep in the living room!