I'm looking for feedback on a possible strategy for getting my 3 yo DD to become more independent going to sleep. She starts out the night in her own bed (cosleeps with us for about 1/2 the night), so after the usual routine (book/song/story) either my husband or I will stay with her until she falls asleep, which can take up to an hour and a half.
It's starting to affect my marriage, since DH and I have begun to fight over who has to spend the 90 mins in her room (we both have ipods and use the time as wisely as we can, but it still feels like you're stuck in there). Also, we're expecting #2 in November, so anything we can do now to encourage DD's independence seems like a good thing. I feel like she's ready to make the shift, but I'm not sure I can wait for it to happen organically.
This kind of reward as motivator is not something I'd considered before (big fan of Alfie Kohn) but I'm getting a little desperate. Plus, this summer I did use a reward to help her get over her fear of doing something she wanted to do but was really nervous about (get into the pool for a lesson without me). It seemed to help shift things for her.
Pros and cons of sticker charts for this kind of behavior shift? Any other strategies?
Thanks in advance for any feedback!