Whew. What a whirlwind morning. Woke up with brighter red bleeding and a little bit of clotting. Went for my blood draw and asked to see a nurse if she was available. Nurse was so wonderful, kind and told me the on call midwife could see me as soon as my test results were in (only had to wait 1.5 hours).
Went back, met the most awesome midwife (she even offered to let me shadow her as I decide my route into midwifery school!) - and told me to put my tissue away for now, because my levels had gone up.
They haven't doubled, though - and there's a lot of bright red blood and clots.
On Friday, my beta hcg was 831.
Today, it was 1329.
The plan is to do another beta hcg on Wednesday and then have an ultrasound on Friday (or not, if my next beta shows a steady decline).
I feel more at peace with things - I did a fair amount of sobbing and grieving this morning. My poor DH is totally wiped out (and was so amazingly supportive today). The midwife told me that IF this is a miscarriage, she expects I'll be pregnant again very soon and she'll make sure I'm getting VIP treatment, as she knows how nervous I will be. She told me she's not even going to tell me not to be nervous, because I will be - and that it's okay, because she'll do everything she can to calm my nerves from the very start.
So. There it is. I really don't think there's a baby growing in me...but I won't go out and start smoking crack or anything....just in case. ;)