ttc and nursing

[girlspn]

Our dd is 15 months old and still nurses around the clock (every 3-4 hours at night). We really want to start trying for a second baby, but no af yet. 

I understand dd needs to decrease nursing in order for me to have any hope of getting my period back. We started her on solids around 5-6 months, but she still eats very little. Maybe a spoonful of food at each 'meal'. We offer cow's milk but she refuses it. In fact, it seems like she's getting more interested in nursing these days, loves to pull down my shirt and find milkies there. 

I eat a mostly traditional foods diet-- lots of fatty fish, organ meats, raw milk, fermented foods, etc., hoping better nutrition would help. 

Is there anything I can try to get my cycles to return? I don't want to wean dd, though. Or is it wishful thinking that I can become fertile again with this level of nursing?

[skycheattraffic]

I think fertility is so individual. My AF returned at 4 months pp and my 17 month old nurses as often as yours does - although she eats way more solids. We didn't push her, she just enjoys it and doesn't seem to have sensitivities. One thing that might help (and can't hurt) is to see if she would like more solids. What do you offer? My DD ate purées for maybe a couple of weeks and then was totally over them and wanted "real" food off mom's plate. If you aren't already, see if she would prefer grownup food and offer a large variety. My DD's taste is very fickle. She will eat a whole banana on Monday and not want anything to do with it again for the rest of the week. I offer about 3 or so different things if she isn't into the first food but all healthy. The only way she will take cow milk is off a spoon as she's pilfering from my bowl of Cheerios :-/. There is nothing wrong with her not eating much at her age but I thought I'd share a couple of things that work for us.
Alternately once she reaches 18 months, you could try partial night weaning to get a stretch of 6-7 hours without nursing. I'm not crazy about night weaning myself but there may be a gentle way to get her to skip one feeding which may help with fertility.
I'm sure more experienced help is on the way, these are just a couple of thoughts. Good luck!

[kohlby]

Since your baby is not a huge solid eater, I'd re-evaluate three months from now unless age is an enormous factor where 3 months would matter.  I thought I wanted to get pg when each child turned 1, but it was not possible due to lack of fertility and then losses.  Instead, there's almost 3 years between each gap  - and I love it!  At the time, I wasn't so sure though!  At 15 months, my oldest was not eating solids - at all.  My period returned at 18 months but my LP was too short initially.  I did take steps to cut him down - but we're talking about 20 times at a year, 12 times at 18 months and 5+ times at two years old.  My second child actually did eat a bite here and there.  It was at 16 months where her eating took off - meaning she often ate one meal a day, with a meal meaning 50-100 calories.  She also increased her grazing.  And cut down from 8 times at 12 months to just 5 times at 16 months.  Of those 5 times, 4 were centered around night time - so I had two gaps of not nursing during the day.  My period returned at 16 months, but again, LP was too short initially but it did get back to normal.  (Luckily I was not ttc the 3rd time around.  That took longer but he wasn't even capable of one morsel of food until nearly 2.  I was nursing a dozen times or more in 24 hours when it returned, at 25 months).

At 15 months, you're at a prime time for your body to think about getting back to normal.  It could happen in a couple weeks.  Or in 3 months.  Or in 9 months.  It's too overwhelming to look too far out into the future.  With my oldest, I looked at if he was ready for me to cut him down and by how much.  Then I re-evaluated every three months.  That helped a lot.

[girlspn]

skycheattraffic,

thanks for replying! 

i'd just stopped worrying about my dd's solid food intake. She eats so much less than other babies. My family thinks its problematic. If she takes five bites of a banana, that's a good 'meal' of solids. She absolutely won't take purees. Last month, she was eating quite a bit of fish and meat, but lost interest this month. Still, she's thriving and in good health, so I just go with the flow and let her nurse as much as she wants. So my hopes of becoming fertile again seem...hopeless. 

Is there a reason to wait until 18 months to try night-weaning? I mean, I don't plan to night-wean dd until she's ready (which judging from the way she nurses now, might be in a long long time), but just curious. 

Originally Posted by skycheattraffic 

I think fertility is so individual. My AF returned at 4 months pp and my 17 month old nurses as often as yours does - although she eats way more solids. We didn't push her, she just enjoys it and doesn't seem to have sensitivities. One thing that might help (and can't hurt) is to see if she would like more solids. What do you offer? My DD ate purées for maybe a couple of weeks and then was totally over them and wanted "real" food off mom's plate. If you aren't already, see if she would prefer grownup food and offer a large variety. My DD's taste is very fickle. She will eat a whole banana on Monday and not want anything to do with it again for the rest of the week. I offer about 3 or so different things if she isn't into the first food but all healthy. The only way she will take cow milk is off a spoon as she's pilfering from my bowl of Cheerios :-/. There is nothing wrong with her not eating much at her age but I thought I'd share a couple of things that work for us.
Alternately once she reaches 18 months, you could try partial night weaning to get a stretch of 6-7 hours without nursing. I'm not crazy about night weaning myself but there may be a gentle way to get her to skip one feeding which may help with fertility.
I'm sure more experienced help is on the way, these are just a couple of thoughts. Good luck!

[girlspn]

kohlby, 

Re-evaluating in 3 months seems to be the most sensible thing to do right now. 

I tell myself that it's better to wait until she's older anyway, but recently the baby itch started up and has gotten worse! I've been feeling pretty good for the past 6 months already, and keep wishing my period would just return already. It took us 2 years to conceive dd, my husband is past 40 already, and we hope for a few more little ones. And it doesn't help that everyone we know is already having their second and third babies before their babies are 2 (not breastfeeding though). 

I think my dd still nurses every 2-3 hours now (I stopped paying attention or counting, and usually tell people she nurses less when they ask because of all the disapproval), so I know I shouldn't get my hopes up about fertility returning anytime soon. Whenever I get a pimple, or cramps, or extremely moody, I think it's a sign of period... but nothing, lol. 

Although I do wish there was something I can do on my part without weaning dd!  

Originally Posted by kohlby 

Since your baby is not a huge solid eater, I'd re-evaluate three months from now unless age is an enormous factor where 3 months would matter.  I thought I wanted to get pg when each child turned 1, but it was not possible due to lack of fertility and then losses.  Instead, there's almost 3 years between each gap  - and I love it!  At the time, I wasn't so sure though!  At 15 months, my oldest was not eating solids - at all.  My period returned at 18 months but my LP was too short initially.  I did take steps to cut him down - but we're talking about 20 times at a year, 12 times at 18 months and 5+ times at two years old.  My second child actually did eat a bite here and there.  It was at 16 months where her eating took off - meaning she often ate one meal a day, with a meal meaning 50-100 calories.  She also increased her grazing.  And cut down from 8 times at 12 months to just 5 times at 16 months.  Of those 5 times, 4 were centered around night time - so I had two gaps of not nursing during the day.  My period returned at 16 months, but again, LP was too short initially but it did get back to normal.  (Luckily I was not ttc the 3rd time around.  That took longer but he wasn't even capable of one morsel of food until nearly 2.  I was nursing a dozen times or more in 24 hours when it returned, at 25 months).

At 15 months, you're at a prime time for your body to think about getting back to normal.  It could happen in a couple weeks.  Or in 3 months.  Or in 9 months.  It's too overwhelming to look too far out into the future.  With my oldest, I looked at if he was ready for me to cut him down and by how much.  Then I re-evaluated every three months.  That helped a lot.

[Chloe'sMama]

I got AF back at 13 months after DD1 was born, but fertility didn't really return until 17 months and I got pregnant right away.  With DD2, AF came back at 16 months, and I caught the first PP egg, but had a miscarriage.  So even though AF arrived later, fertility came back earlier.... I was nursing them both very frequently at 18 months.

I am now 19 weeks pregnant and I didn't cut back DD2s nursing at all, but got pregnant when she was 19 months, so I think she was down to 2 times at night and 4-5 a day.

Anyways, long story short, I think fertility will return when your body is ready.  

Also, how does she respond to chunks of food instead of puree?  I started both girls at about 9 months on solids and went straight to chunks.  They LOVED lentils and still do!  DD2 is all about meat and fish too.

[skycheattraffic]

I was told by an LC not to nightwean until 18 months because I want to continue nursing DD to at least her second birthday and some babies may wean prematurely or lose interest if nightweaned too early. Granted, I have a big eater who doesn't nurse as often and you probably wouldn't have much risk of early weaning but I thought I'd pass that along. I also second the suggestion to give it about three months. A lot changes between 15 and 18 months. In the last three days we went from 3 or 4 wake ups/nursings a night to one. I really hope it's not a fluke but she's been consistent. We also just switched the diapers she wears overnight, which helped. I don't know how you diaper overnight but perhaps that's something else to investigate if she's waking often and may help give a longer stretch without nursing.

[BabySmurf]

we are in the exact same boat! except my son is 22 months.  i really started getting the itch at about 18 months; i can totally relate to watching everyone else get pregnant, and just wanting to have some control over things! We also eat a more traditional diet, and if you look back at more traditional cultures, child spacing was much further apart than it is nowadays. 

i have started to try to stretch out the time between nursing sessions...i find some activity to distract him when i know that it's coming up on a time ds usually nurses at.  and i will try to offer him a snack instead while we are out.  it typically works, however if we are at home, he will rather nurse than anything else. DS is similar, where he doesn't eat a lot of food... he would rather just nurse, and he will ask every one to two hours while we are at home.  i am getting a bit touched out! since i have introduced my distraction technique, he does nurse slightly less, in general.  And he eats a bit more than he did a few months ago, for sure...just still not as much as other kids his age might...although, i have an idea that since we eat so many dense foods, he just may need less.  and i think it's totally normal for kids to eat their fill of one food one day, and then not again for a while.  i was surprised that my son really likes sour foods.  and he is a big meat guy...he loves the stew i just made.  but he won't eat fruit at all, ever.  and he will only eat veggies in stews.  or if i hide them in a muffin, but even then, he will only eat a small amount of it, so i think he just doesn't NEED those nutrients.  and once he started eating more, he also started sleeping better...that may be a coincidence though.  as soon as he started sleeping better, i got some good fertility signs...and then we got colds, and he's nursing all the time again so i really do think that having a long stretch without nursing is a big contender in terms of getting fertility back.

you do hear that some people don't see AF until after full weaning though....and i can't help but think "but that's so unfair! i don't want to wait that long!" ...but we shall see.  i have faith that our little nursing dyad knows best, even if i don't see it now. 

[girlspn]

She just plays with food, occasionally eating a tiny piece or two, hardly ever more than that. She just doesn't seem interested or hungry at all. We offer what we're eating, and I'm trying to get more creative in getting her to eat, but so far nothing. When she doesn't want something, she turns her head or pushes my hand/the food away. She likes to put food in her mouth and then spit it out, which drives dh crazy! I thought by 15 months she would be eating a lot more than this!

Originally Posted by Chloe'sMama 

Also, how does she respond to chunks of food instead of puree?  I started both girls at about 9 months on solids and went straight to chunks.  They LOVED lentils and still do!  DD2 is all about meat and fish too.

[girlspn]

I can't imagine dd night-weaning any time soon. Previously, when she woke at night, she used to latch on for a few minutes and go back to sleep, but lately, she's been nursing fully at least 3 times at night. 

She doesn't accept anything else but nursing when she wants to nurse. It's easier to nurse her than deal with her waking up and getting super fussy and noisy at night!

As for diapers, she's in disposables overnight. She usually pees once or not at all... 

Quote:

Originally Posted by skycheattraffic 

I was told by an LC not to nightwean until 18 months because I want to continue nursing DD to at least her second birthday and some babies may wean prematurely or lose interest if nightweaned too early. Granted, I have a big eater who doesn't nurse as often and you probably wouldn't have much risk of early weaning but I thought I'd pass that along. I also second the suggestion to give it about three months. A lot changes between 15 and 18 months. In the last three days we went from 3 or 4 wake ups/nursings a night to one. I really hope it's not a fluke but she's been consistent. We also just switched the diapers she wears overnight, which helped. I don't know how you diaper overnight but perhaps that's something else to investigate if she's waking often and may help give a longer stretch without nursing.

[girlspn]

Thanks for sharing your experience!

I really really hope that I don't have to wait until full weaning........

Originally Posted by BabySmurf 

you do hear that some people don't see AF until after full weaning though....and i can't help but think "but that's so unfair! i don't want to wait that long!" ...but we shall see.  i have faith that our little nursing dyad knows best, even if i don't see it now. 

[E m i c h i e e]

I can't give much advice, but I want to say that my period returned at 12 months pp, while I was still exclusively breastfeeding day and night. My son only snacks on solids once in a while, but they don't replace nursing the slightest bit.

I do believe you might be fertile without AF. Also, since you seem to eat a primal type of diet...you can have lesser or no periods on that diet. I eat a paleo diet, partially raw atm. and heard lots about that on forums.

Goof luck TTC!

[girlspn]

Emichiee,

Oh, this gives me so much hope! :)

Is it possible to ovulate without periods? How does it work? Wouldn't your body have to shed the lining if the egg wasn't fertilized?

I have not heard about lesser to no periods on a primal diet. Could you direct me to forums discussing this? I'm really interested. I started eating more primally only near the end of my pregnancy until now. So have never experienced what AF was like on such a diet. 

Thank you!

Originally Posted by E m i c h i e e 

I can't give much advice, but I want to say that my period returned at 12 months pp, while I was still exclusively breastfeeding day and night. My son only snacks on solids once in a while, but they don't replace nursing the slightest bit.

I do believe you might be fertile without AF. Also, since you seem to eat a primal type of diet...you can have lesser or no periods on that diet. I eat a paleo diet, partially raw atm. and heard lots about that on forums.

Goof luck TTC!

[cherryrho]

I noticed your post and thought I would just add although we are TTC but we have male factor infertility so it will be unlikely to happen naturally however I wanted to continue nursing my son for a while before undergoing fertility treatment again. I got my first AF when my son was 18 months I was actually thinking I would have to wean him as he was feeding quite regularly at night although I work 3 days so he would go around 8 hours without a feed. He is also not a great eater either and despite a recent spurt of him literally feeding every hour at night my cycles have been good.I am pretty sure I am now ovulating but I dont think I did the first couple of times. I guess it may be worth waiting a few months, I think you can also ovulate without any bleed so maybe worth charting?
 

[girlspn]

So far, we can only go 4 hours without a feed, and this happens very rarely still. 

I've just started to take BBT and check CP again. It can't hurt to start charting. I have been breaking out in the past couple of months, and I usually only get 1-2 pimples right before my period. 

DD's been eating more solids this week, so I'm getting hopeful!

Originally Posted by cherryrho 

I noticed your post and thought I would just add although we are TTC but we have male factor infertility so it will be unlikely to happen naturally however I wanted to continue nursing my son for a while before undergoing fertility treatment again. I got my first AF when my son was 18 months I was actually thinking I would have to wean him as he was feeding quite regularly at night although I work 3 days so he would go around 8 hours without a feed. He is also not a great eater either and despite a recent spurt of him literally feeding every hour at night my cycles have been good.I am pretty sure I am now ovulating but I dont think I did the first couple of times. I guess it may be worth waiting a few months, I think you can also ovulate without any bleed so maybe worth charting?
 

[cherryrho]

I am sure it will come soon, if you are getting pre-menstrual symptoms too. I did before mine started. I would just carry on as you are and wait a few months to see. Good luck! x
 

[LHcj2008]

I had similar concerns about 5 months ago, and it wasn't until I cut back on DS's night-nursing and started putting raw Maca in a smoothie a few times a week that I got my period back. Then, I got pregnant a month later and here I am. It could be completely coincidental, and like everyone said, it is so individual. Just thought I'd throw the Maca idea out there in case you want to look into it.

To nightwean, it took several months, primarly because I didn't force it so much on DS, but I just started out in slow increments...for several weeks, I would only nurse him after a 5 hour stretch of sleep...then 6 hours...then 7...now it is 8, and we've stayed at 8. There were nights of crying and fighting against it, but it was always in my arms or I'd give in if it got too much. I did it more for my own sanity and exhaustion than to get my fertility back...I took the Maca mainly for that.

Another thing to consider is that if your LO is still so into nursing, pregnancy may not be the best thing for everyone right now, even though I truly understand the itch for another!  My milk just dried up this past weekend at 15 weeks pregnant, and now we're dealing with DS's adjustment. With enough pushes, DS hasn't been nursing as much as your LO is, but he was before we nightweaned...plus, he's a bit older. Just something to think about that may make the lack of AF easier to swallow for now :)

[BabySmurf]

i thought i would chime in again for an update...we are in a similar situation to you, where my DS nurses all the time still. (23 months)  All of a sudden he started eating a bigger dinner and sleeping a longer stretch at night, and I ovulated.  We (unintentionally) caught the first pp egg.  Now I am super worried about how DS is going to be when my milk dries up, as he is still very dependent on nursing at all other times of the day.  we aren't nightweaned either, although he does go a long stretch now.  I'm sad because this is going to be a huge adjustment for him, and i'm not sure that he is really ready for it.  so just some food or thought!

[girlspn]

Originally Posted by BabySmurf 

i thought i would chime in again for an update...we are in a similar situation to you, where my DS nurses all the time still. (23 months)  All of a sudden he started eating a bigger dinner and sleeping a longer stretch at night, and I ovulated.  We (unintentionally) caught the first pp egg.  Now I am super worried about how DS is going to be when my milk dries up, as he is still very dependent on nursing at all other times of the day.  we aren't nightweaned either, although he does go a long stretch now.  I'm sad because this is going to be a huge adjustment for him, and i'm not sure that he is really ready for it.  so just some food or thought!

BabySmurf, congratulations on your pregnancy! Maybe your milk won't dry up? I hear of mothers nursing throughout pregnancy. 

I'm still in the same situation-- dd nursing all the time, can't see night-weaning anytime soon. The only difference is that I've relaxed a bit about it!

[skycheattraffic]

Congratulations BabySmurf! I'm actually in the same boat: expecting in July. DD will be 27-28 months at the time (she's not quite 20 now) and she nurses a lot too. she has recently cut back to one wake up overnight (thank goodness) but nurses throughout the day. I'm only 6 weeks or so along but so far she's still getting a good amount of milk. My only plan is to offer and nurse as much as I possibly can to combat the supply drop. If we come out of this with her only nursing once a day, I will be ok with that. Something tells me that when baby comes and my supply is up she will nurse with gusto once again. I was very worried about weaning for a while but somehow that has fallen by the wayside. I'm just following our routine and have faith in my body and her instincts to maintain the nursing relationship and welcome our new addition. She nurses to sleep so I feel I'm kind of guaranteed 1 or 2 sessions a day even with low supply.