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Fall 2012 Love for the Preggo Bajingos: Having #1 in our 30s - Page 5

post #81 of 101

Thanks, Scruff! 


About spacing, I think if we're going to have a second, which I absolutely want, I will be open to conceiving as soon as I am able after this first little one, who is due in April. I am 32, and husband is 42. He doesn't want to be an "old dad" as he says (he has an 11 y.o. already), and I think health-wise, and sibling relationship-wise, it's probably best to have our two close together.

post #82 of 101
Originally Posted by chocolatechip View Post

I'm curious if anyone in this group is thinking about how many kids they want to have, and what kind of spacing they might want between them, or how quickly they might want to have them? I'm obviously pregnant with my first, and I will be approaching 35 when this baby comes. My husband will be almost 41. We'd like to have two kids, which isn't all that many, and intellectually I *know* we have the time to do it, but I also find myself thinking sometimes about how quickly these years go by, how quickly I'll be approaching 40, etc.


I know that's not really a very specific question, but just wondering if anyone else is thinking about this, and what kinds of thoughts you're having! smile.gif


Chocolatechip, that's a great question. DH and I agreed long ago (probably before we were even married, how time flies!) that we want two kids. I would prefer to have both before we're 35, which doesn't leave much time (we're both 32 now). Long term plans for kids got pushed back when I chose to go to grad school, and then we took a few years after I graduated to actually decide we were ready.


DH is exactly a year older than his brother, and thinks close spacing is ideal (he's thinking long term about having multiple kiddos in college, and under current financial aid plans they tend to give you more money if you have 2 in at the same time than they would if 2 don't overlap). I'm also on board with close spacing, but understand every doctor has their own opinion.


After this one arrives, I think we will NT/NP until AF comes back, then I'll temp and chart again. I have no idea how nursing will affect this timeline, but will deal with that if it seems to be a problem when we get there. At least on a population basis, it's reassuring to know we CAN get pregnant again while nursing. I care more about raising our first with a healthy supply of BM than really hitting my goal of finishing by 35.

post #83 of 101
Thread Starter 

Kimble & Maincoast- we all seem to be on the same page- close together- my dh is almost 43 and he has a 24 year old- he does not want to get too old to enjoy them- I am not sure if I want to start like right now- baby is one month- but I will start allowing at 6-9 months (taking out the gatekeeper if you will then I will Try hard when baby is 11 months.  Funny though- I can't imagine being pregnant again- It was really hard for me in that I was nasals from about 6 weeks to 24 weeks, and very very tired.  I also just love this baby so much I cannot imagine what it would be like to not have our alone time together.  However- the soonest I would have another is about when he is a year and a half- so that gives us lot's of time to spend together.  Another great thing is that I have hear when they are fairly close together- the first baby doesn't have much of an opinion about the second baby- I have hear that waiting longer the first child really notices more and can regress- ??? who knows.

post #84 of 101

This is helping a lot to hear the different opinions, thanks!


I think I'd like to know for sure that I could breastfeed for a full year with this baby, and I can definitely understand 2sweetsparrows' thought on wanting to have some alone time with the first baby. I guess you never can get it with the second baby, huh?!


My mom tells me she basically got pregnant with her second and third kids as soon as she started being fertile again, which was right when the first (me) and the second started weaning. My first brother is a year and a half younger than me (my mom started giving me bottles in addition to breastfeeding, which I guess she didn't do with my brothers), and then my youngest brother is three and a half years younger than my other brother (five years younger than me). She was also in her twenties when she had all of us, which could make a difference, but I know I got pregnant pretty quickly this time. smile.gif


But, like MaineCoastMama, my husband also wants to make sure he's not an "old dad," and time goes by so fast!


Maybe we'll end up with twins. That'd solve the issue. wink1.gif  (I'm hoping we don't, actually, but that's because I want a home birth!)

post #85 of 101

Hi everyone,


I'm very tentatively peeking in... I am pregnant again, but not ready to graduate up here officially until I am certain this baby will stick. My first beta was taken yesterday and my hcg was 146.8 - that's higher than any number I've had in all three of my other pregnancies, so I'm feeling a little optimistic. And I'm terrified.


If any of you have had multiple losses and have tips to offer about how to handle your worry and anxiety during pregnancy, I'd love some advice.

post #86 of 101

Congratulations and welcome tickletoes! Sending sticky prayers your way. goodvibes.gif

post #87 of 101

Oh my gosh, TickleToes, congrats! Sending loads of love and sticky vibes your way! love.gif

post #88 of 101

Yeah Tickle- seconding Caly- stick baby stick!

post #89 of 101
Thread Starter 

Congratulations Tickletoes!!!- I have had three losses.  (2 pregnancies) I lost twin boys at 16 weeks and one early loss.  My advise is to let go a bit.  This was a lesson I had to embrace after a difficult journey of working through my losses I found that you can love as hard as can be and be willing to do anything to keep your wonderful little life but that life is incredibly complex, and you can only do your best- that is all that is in your power.  With my most recent pregnancy and only successful pregnancy- I was so worried but I just had to let go and understand that the force of life is like a very strong river and that we cannot control the flow.


Try to let life take the rains, love a lot and deal with what comes WHEN it comes do not anticipate the worst because regardless- you will deal with what comes good or bad - so in essence- get lost in love and excitement.  

post #90 of 101

Congrats Tickle!!! joy.gifI saw your numbers doubled on the ttc board, that's great! I'm so hopeful for you!

post #91 of 101

Tickletoes, I was just wondering how your pregnancy is going since it has been more than a month.

post #92 of 101
Sorry I haven't checked in recently! It's been...difficult, to say the least! My m/s finally let up, and heartburn has already begun, but it's somewhat manageable. I could do without all the sinus pressure & stuffiness, though! Baby has stuck around - we're 20wk & counting now! :D Had my anatomy survey u/s on Friday & Kiddo's ankles were firmly crossed in front of the genitals, & the tech nor the doc could get the pics they wanted of the heart. So we (DP has been in town for the last week, to attend the u/s & my family's Christmas party) had to go back on Tuesday - they got the pics of the heart they wanted (everything's great) & we discovered we're having a girl! Yay! Being preggo is still really hard on me, emotionally. "Dear" Partner has not been a 'dear' in my opinion, but he's getting better. ;) Regarding spacing...*IF* I can manage another pregnancy (we'll see how the 2nd half of this one & the post-partum period is before considering THAT idea! hahaha!), I'd really like them to be 2.5-3 years apart. Isn't it something like 3-5 years is a recommendation, based upon tribal societies or something, and that such spacing allows you to get your body into decent shape again to handle another pregnancy? Anyway, I suspect a 2nd pregnancy (if possible) would be ever-so-slightly easier, as everything wouldn't be so unexpectedly overwhelming! But 'letting go' has been very difficult - not knowing how my body is gonna react on a day to day basis is very anxiety producing!! :'( Anyway, I'm 3.5 years older than my brother, which seemed nice enough in my experience; DP has about the same spacing between him & his younger sister. He has an older half-brother, and I think he's also a little over 3 years away in age. Of course, we then move into the 'Advanced Maternal Age' department - I just turned 34 a bit over a month ago, which makes things tricky in trying to space in the way I feel would be optimal. DP is only 21, so he has plenty of time, haha. Dinner's nearly ready, so I'll end this here. :) Oh, and I'm wicked pleased to be having this li'l girl! I just wish she could BE here, and I didn't have to be pregnant to make it happen. *lol*
post #93 of 101

Looks like this thread has fallen asleep.


I was wondering if Pitchounette had had her little one yet.  Any news? I know her due date is January 1, 2013.

post #94 of 101

Lilac- Let's get this thread alive again. I am Deborah (31),DH (30),mother to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, two furbabies: Peaches- 2 (American Staffordshire Terrier) and Leo- 8 (DLH/Maine Coone).Expecting #1-EDD 9/2/13

post #95 of 101

New here.... I am due Aug 14, 2013. I turn 35 next month.

post #96 of 101

Thinking of Tickletoes, too, and hoping for good news!

post #97 of 101

I've got a big ol' baby belly already :-) The second one says 5 weeks 4 days, but I was wrong. It was 5 weeks 6 days. These are from Thursday












post #98 of 101

I've got a big ol' baby belly already :-) The second one says 5 weeks 4 days, but I was wrong. It was 5 weeks 6 days. These are from Thursday


















This was 13 weeks 3 days with my boys




post #99 of 101

Love the belly pics deborah!

post #100 of 101

Thanks Lilac! As much as I would have preferred to keep this under wraps a little longer, I'm so excited to grow so quickly since we had such a hard time growing with the boys. It bodes well for my rainbow :-).

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