Help!

[taraorion]

Here is the background info:

- Our 2 year old son has been cosleeping with us since birth and we are currently trying to adjust him into a toddler bed in his own room (this is due to the immense lack of sleep for us all).

- He wakes roughly 3-7 times each night. He also will wake within 15 minutes of falling asleep (most times) as well. He naps like this, too.

- He is addicted to the bottle (I had to pump exclusively due to latching issues). He will fall asleep after having a bottle and also needs to have a couple of bottles filled with water throughout the night (I know). We have tried to ease him wat from this, but he defies sleep.

- He falls asleep in his toddler bed, but wakes and wakes.....eventually halfway he end up back into our bed. Regardless, he still wakes up in either bed.

- He crys out a gut-filled cry each time he wakes (we have had him tested for possible gi issues, but there is none). He will also cry like this even if we are next to him.

So, I am looking for any advice or methods on how to induce a better nights sleeps for us all. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

[HappyHappyMommy]

to you, taraorion. I wanted to bump your post. Anyone have advice or recommendations to share?
 

[mkksmom]

I think in your shoes, I would look into night-weaning for some ideas to get him off of the bottle. I found my girls didn't learn to sleep well until I showed them that they can fall asleep without sucking. It's hard! But if you just stay there and assure him that he can sleep without the bottle, you'll know that you were there to help him and that this will help the whole family. You might also want to take a look at food allergies or anything else that might cause discomfort. Is he getting molars?

The No-Cry Sleep Solution is a good resource. There is one for toddlers too.

[~Adorkable~]

how is he when he wakes, doe he seem all "there" and accepting of your comfort? i ask only because one of our twins has some night terror issues and wakes in a total fog and crying, it was really hard when i was trying to figure out what he needed, and although its a bummer, its atleast a comfort to know what it is and that im doing my best.

[mamazee]

I think the first thing I would personally do is try to night-wean him off the bottles. Stay with him and comfort him and love him through it, but try to get him off those first. I had one who woke up every 1.5 hours to nurse until she was 2, but it only took a few nights to night-wean her when I finally did it, and it wasn't bad at all, and she started immediately sleeping through the night after that. If he were to sleep through the night, you might be able to continue co-sleeping, but even if that doesn't work it'll be easier to transition him to another bed.

I also don't know if I'd try to change two things at once. I'd go with night weaning first, THEN anything else.

Another thing to consider is food sensitivities. It sounds like he's having cow's milk? That causes problems for a lot of people. You could try switching to a non-dairy milk and see if he digests that better. I am not an expert on food sensitivity issues but a lot of moms are and I hope they'll give some input there. If he doesn't nightweak reasonably well at this age and not physically on the breast, I'd wonder about a food issue.

But good luck and please keep coming back and letting us know how things are working so we can try to help you problem-solve. This does sound like a hard time.

[momof3tobe]

This sounds very similar to my oldest ds who is now 7- he also was addicted to his bottle, needing one to fall asleep as well as several during the night, and the frequent waking up screaming. Did you have him tested for reflux? You said no GI issues but wondering if they really checked for that with an endoscopy. My ds had silent reflux- no spitting up, but terrible heartburn which gets worse when laying down and better temporarily when you wash it down with some water or milk (hence the reason why he was frequently waking up screaming and needed something to drink to go back to sleep for a little while). I put him on Prevacid and that helped. He still woke up from his naps screaming so I stopped giving him naps when he was 2 and a half and then made his bedtime 7pm. No nap also seemed to help him sleep better at night. He would sleep from 7pm-7am. I continued to cosleep with him but I had two twin beds that I pushed together so if he was fidgeting on his bed it wouldn't wake me up but if he needed me I was still right there. The bottle before bed was a comfort thing and I decided I was going to let him have that until he felt he didn't want it anymore. One night I handed him his bottle and he said, "no thank you- I don't need that anymore." And that was that- no whining or crying or struggles- he was so proud of himself that he had reached that stage where he truly didn't want it and he did that all on his own. He was 5. I know most "experts" would say that's ridiculous to let a 5 year old have a bottle but it all worked out just fine for us. I did the same thing with the cosleeping. I actually had three twin beds pushed together by then- his younger brother on one, me in the middle one, and ds on the end one. One day the boys said to me that they would like their own "kids' room" and basically kicked me out lol. I took out the middle bed, put my younger ds's bed up against one wall and my older ds' bed against the other wall, and they loved having their own space- no grown ups! They were 6 & 5 at the time- I don't regret at all letting my ds take the time he needed to feel comfortable sleeping on his own. Everyone is happy and relaxed. That whole time my husband slept in the other bedroom by himself and it did not hurt our relationship at all. We found plenty of time to spend together and honestly I think it would have been worse for us if we were always negotiating who was going to get up and soothe ds and what plan were we going to use to get him to sleep on his own this time, etc. So to make a long post even longer, my basic advise is: double check he doesn't have reflux (I would even suggest trying out the Prevacid for a couple of weeks just to see if it makes a difference, if you don't want to put him through any more tests.), get rid of the nap, and keep cosleeping and letting him have his bottle until he's ready to move on.