my 11 month old has always fought going to sleep off and on, but nothing like this. she doesn't have symptoms of anything wrong, has dry diaper, comfy clothes, nothing weird i can tell. she is totally normal all the rest of the day and night. for two days, when it is time to nurse/rock for bedtime or naptime, she gets really, really upset and fights it so bad. she cries and cries hard, keeps trying to sit up, and get down, but then she is so tired and unhappy and wanting to nurse bc she is sleepy, and does it all again. if i keep her on my lap she kind of spins around crying. she has also viciously been pinching with her whole hand and head-butting, all while nursing.(the pinching is not the typical pinching we are used to, it's like a whole-handed squeeze and it HURTS) please help me, this is driving me to tears and dh works usually til after bedtime :( i need a hug.
suddenly hysterical at nap and bedtime
One of my children went through this at about the same age. We went through a time of not following our usual bedtime routine and that helped - although it was a challenge for me because it had been such a wonderful part of our days until that point and it was tricky to manage with her siblings - but it really didn't last all that long.
For nap time I would nurse her and give her a snack well before the time she was usually ready for these. I would change her diaper, bundle her up and tuck her into either the sling or the stroller and we would head out for a long walk. Eventually she would just drift off and fall asleep from the motion. If she was in the sling I could usually get her home and lay her down on her bed to sleep some more. If she was in the stroller I could keep walking or else bring the stroller home and bring into the front hall and let her finish her nap there.
Doing this helped bedtime quite a bit but when she would go into full blown freak out mode at bedtime we would just stop and sometimes do the same thing. There were a few nights where she started out the night in her stroller and I slept right beside her on the couch and then the first time she awoke to nurse we would climb into bed and the rest of the night would be fine.
It is so hard to deal with this when you are already tired and probably need some sleep and some down time yourself. It is always important to make sure that there isn't something physically wrong that is making her so distressed but with toddlers, things like this can happen! I hope it passes quickly.
I also remember finding it helpful to get myself prepared to stay put for a good long time so my baby could get the rest she needed. That meant using the bathroom, turning off the phone, getting a glass of water and a book to have on hand. When I was lucky I was able to catch some sleep too but I was just as lucky when I had some time to read! The best days were the ones when Mothering magazine arrived in the mail and I could read it with a sleepy nursing baby in my arms. It didn't work out that way too often but when it did, it was bliss!