Originally Posted by Loogiejane
When DH and I told my MIL we're expecting the first thing she said was "And now I have to worry." I'm sorry, what? Why would you worry? (Because it makes sense) she said that it was something her mother said when she found out someone was pregnant so now it's something she has to say too. I told her to please not worry and that we're looking for no stress and only positive energy. She obliged and said "ok...only good vibes" and we said, "please, yes, thanks you."
^ this is exactly what I anticipate from my mom in a few weeks when we visit my family for Christmas. years ago (maybe when I graduated from college and was "on my own" for the first time?) she told me "I'm a mother, it's my job to worry". Since she doesn't work, this means it's her full time job to worry, and I'm now the primary target again. the last time we talked on the phone she ended with "now you're taking your vitamins, right?" ... yes mom! I know she means well but it can me more frustrating than encouraging.
I'm planning to taking a slightly different approach though - instead of asking for 100% positive support (not really my style and certainly not tell-it-like-it is DH's style!) I want to open this to a conversation about pregnancy, birth, and motherhood with her. We have never been close, especially when it comes to "lady stuff", but I want to learn what her experience was like. I know all about my MIL's, but very little about my own family's journey to motherhood. I expect some pain for both of us along the way - I know I was born by emergency c-section, suspect I was unplanned, and the more I learn about fetal growth, the more I suspect I was premature rather than 2 weeks late as my mom claims. At any rate, I want to take a sledgehammer to the wall my mom has built, and open the floor to questions and honest discussion.
and now back to the topic of bumps! I had my 3rd midwife appt today, and since I switched practices she did a full physical and pelvic exam. When she pulled back the robe to prod my belly, she exclaimed "what a cute bump"! with some surprise and excitement. She normally does the exams at the first visit (~8 weeks) but since I didn't see her until last month, I got the exam late. It gave me a little thrill to hear the excitement in her voice, as she sees a dozen women a day and should be used to bumps. It made me feel motherly and gave me warm fuzzies. I really need to take a picture tonight - it's so fun to see everyone else and I'm done being shy now that there's a professionally-confirmed bump!