What am I missing?

[trinaren]

I've been practicing part time EC with my 3 mo since birth, but have mainly relied on timing and just offering the potty when I do a diaper change. I've recently tried to look for his cues, but am having a really hard time with it. I thought I found one, but often when I try to offer the potty he's not interested.

Can someone help me figure out his cues? I'm trying to give him lots of diaper free time, but no signals appear to me. What am I missing? 

[HappyHappyMommy]

Bumping up your post for attention. Anyone have suggestions?
 

[seraf]

Thanks for the bumps, HappyHappyMommy.

Trinaren, Have you tried writing down your catches and misses? I have had a lot of success identifying new patterns when I keep track. I keep track of times for nursing, sleeping and pottying for a day or two occasionally. Waking, Kicking, fussing and popping off while nursing are big signals. My 10 month old will either crawl toward the bathroom, try to get on the floor (from the sling) or look at where he expects a puddle. My 4 month old makes eye contact and smiles like a maniac. They're all different.

Good luck.

[trinaren]

Thanks for the bump and tip. I'll give writing it down a shot. If the misses are in his diaper, do you think I should just go by the diaper change? I don't always know exactly when he goes. 

[seraf]

Perhaps you could have him in a diaper without a cover for a couple hours a day to better observe his signals? Our boys wear non-waterproof diapers and trainers at home, so I guess I forget that other babies wear diapers at home.

[flyrabbitfly]

I second the non-waterproof dipes at home- that way you know right away, but there really isn't any mess, and bub gets changed right away. Some babies just don't show many signs. I think it is worth it to look really hard for them though- if you end up relying totally on timing (which is what we did) it can work, but it becomes all about you being in control of where their pee goes, instead of about developing this communication between you and then when it is time for him to graduate, there is nothing much to do. If it's all on you, there is this transition period where kiddo needs to assume control and responsibility for this thing that you've been taking care of on your own. Cues make it a partnership. I'm sure my son had some cues, I just could never figure them out consistently and it was easier for me to make catches by using timing. Wish I'd worried less about catches and more about communication as everyone (including me)says is best to do...

[trinaren]

That's a really good point about needing the communication. I'll make sure to make that more of a priority.

Here's another question: DS HATES getting his diaper changed. He starts screaming as soon as he's wet, but screams even louder when I put him on the change table. I usually put him on the toilet during diaper changes, but he's been so upset lately, that I worry I'm making things worse by offering the potty. Should I not offer it then? We have the change table in the bathroom, and I think he's getting to the point that he gets upset as soon as we go into the room, so even if I was going by cues it would be an ordeal. 

I don't want him to start having bad associations with using the potty. 

[flyrabbitfly]

Can you lose the changing table routine? Change him on your lap, on the floor, or something else? Maybe take off the dipe and let him be nakey on some waterproof surface for a bit before putting him on the potty or giving him a new dipe- most babies LOVE to be naked and maybe that might help him have more pleasant association with having his diaper removed...

[trinaren]

It's funny, sometimes he loves being naked and hates his diaper being put back on, and others he screams bloody murder when I try to take it off. I've pretty much just stopped offering him the potty, but I hate that I've stopped. We've had company for the last week, so I haven't been able to just let him hang out naked and that might be part of the problem too. Next week everyone leaves, so we may be able to get back to normal again. I hope so, 

[flyrabbitfly]

Ah, company can throw things for a big loop! As much naked time as is manageable might help get things back on track- also try other receptacles as well: sink, tub, outside- sometimes no means, not here, or not like this...