I'm feeling overwhelmed. I think I mostly just need to get all these thoughts out of my head.
I was homeschooled from Kindergarten until I went to college. I thought this was going to be way easier. Maybe I'm expecting too much.
My daughter just turned 6 a few weeks ago. If she was in public school, she would be attending kindergarten because she missed the cutoff deadline by 4 days.
I was planning on starting official homeschool last year, but I was seriously ill with my pregnancy, and decided to wait until this year.
She is mostly at a beginning 1st grade level for Math and reading. Somehow I feel like she is behind, even though if she were in public school she would only be starting kindergarten.
I got a reading curriculum, a math curriculum, and now a writing curriculum. I never found a history, geography, or science curriculum I really liked, so I decided to just wing it with library books and such.
I felt that reading, writing and math are the most important to learn, and decided to do them every day. Science, health, geography and history I set to 2-3 times a week with no more than 5 subjects a day including the math, reading and writing. I had a whole schedule and everything.
I wanted to be pretty lose, and flexible, so I just had a list of 4-5 things to do for the day (2 pages of math, 1 lesson in reading, 1 page of handwriting, 2 pages of history, etc.) I asked my daughter what she wanted to do next, and we took breaks if she seemed like she needed it. She seemed to enjoy it.
It was just too much. My 4 year old son wants to do school too, but his level and learning style are so drastically different than his sister's, I just can't make it work. I have a 5 month old too, and she's pretty needy. I ended up spending the entire day from breakfast until dinner schooling my children. If I wasn't directly teaching (or taking care of the baby or another child's needs) I was studying, reading up on the next lesson, and getting ready for schooling. It was too much for me.
I dropped all the school activities I was doing with my 4 yr old DS, and dropped everything but Math, writing, reading, health, and basic US history for my daughter (she adores US history) and now it seems manageable, but I worry if it's enough. Today she told me that she was bored. I don't want her to be bored. I want learning to be fun, but I barely have time to do what I am currently doing, so how can I make it more fun and engaging? My other 2 children need me, I have meals to make, laundry, basic cleaning, and I'm still trying to get my health back from being so ill while I was pregnant. I think I was over preparing because I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.
I don't know what speed we should be going or if we need to do school every day, or how often we should do history, or what. I find that small breaks of a day or so in specific subjects help when she gets stuck with reading, or math, but any longer, and she seems to forget and regress, so I want to be careful of that.
I like planning, I like having a course of action, even if it's only just a simple "Let the child choose" kind of thing. I just want to have a plan. I don't want to let my daughter (or my son) down.
I think I would feel a lot more secure with an all inclusive curriculum, but I really wanted the flexibility and freedom of a pick and choose approach. It seemed to fit our family's teaching philosophy better.
I feel caught between fear that I am trying to do too much, thereby squashing the love of learning out of my child, or risking burnout and fear that I am not doing enough and she will end up with a seriously lacking education.
Am I just over thinking this, and making it harder than it needs to be?
I fear that I will not be able to teach her right, and I will fail her. I think that is my biggest fear. I don't want to fail, because it's not about me, it's about THEM.
This is way harder than I thought it would be!