Going back to work? « Back to Group Discussions

[Lizbiz]

Anyone else going back to work or already there?  I'm starting a new job October 1 and I am gearing up.  I have very mixed feelings.  Excited for the job itself - but a little anxious about how it's all going to fit together.  And I HATE pumping LOL... just started last week to start building the habit and a little stash... and it's the bane of my existence. :) 

And I'm pretty sure I'm going to be so tired I'll be like the walking dead for a while until my LO is sleeping better at night.  Last night was a circus with all 3 of my kiddos.  

Those who've been there done that - how do you manage?  And ultimately, how do you thrive?  

Wanted to start this thread as a place for this conversation - I'd love to hear from other mamas and get some support!! 

[pennywhistle]

I'm not going back yet - we're almost at 3 weeks and I have 12 weeks off (going back after Thanksgiving).  But I'm already feeling anxious about how it's going to work (no pun intended), so I'm looking forward to hearing tips & advice from the rest of you!

[iixivboots]

I was thinking of starting this thread (I always say that...) I have a ton to say, but for now:

I go back for one day on Oct 5, then another week off (school break), then back full time.

I'm so scared about pumping enough. I'm a teacher and I won't be able to pump until lunch (11:45). Then I can pump again at 2 and go get Lyle at 3:30. I think I will have to pump in the morning at work (7:45 ish ) but I'm afraid my supply will drop on weekends and breaks if I go so long without pumping or nursing each day.

After all the hard work establishing breastfeeding, I just feel really resentful of having to go back to work. I hope my feelings change. :/

[Veritas Vitae]

Boots, my sister said that when she went to work with her oldest (she is SAHM for her other kids) her supply was lower during the weekday, but it ramped up in the evenings and on weekends to meet the demand. I know this is just anecdotal, but your body should adjust to the new schedule.

Hugs to all the mommas getting ready to go back to work. I'll be following along to see how it goes, since I'm a bit apprehensive about eventually going back.

[Tizzy]

I'm "back to work" in a roundabout way and although I don't have to deal with pumping, it kind of sucks.  I don't know how anyone could go back f/t after just 12 weeks, I am impressed with all of your Americans :)   Here in Canada we get 12 months off and sometimes that doesn't seem like nearly enough.

For me right now, my biggest challenge is the resentment over having to wake baby G. up, change him, make him eat and bundle him up to take to the barn. It just seems so wrong, but I've always been big on "don't wake a sleeping baby!".   Plus most mornings I would love just an extra 30-45min to snuggle with him, but it's just not possible.

[Ninetales]

I go back the second week of October.  I only work part-time, 3 nights a week for four hours each shift.  I haven't started pumping yet but hopefully I won't need much.  Elsa never took a bottle and the few times I was away she just waited for me to get home and gorged herself.

[RedTree]

Nak

I'm going back to work full-time plus commute (gone from 5:30am - 4:30pm) the second week in November.  Sigh.

I just got in a couple different bottles to start seeing what this little one will take.  Planning on having DH giving her one feeding a day to start.  Any particular bottle people are using?  I just got a random assortment to test.

[Veritas Vitae]

I am using the Dr. Brown's glass bottles. I haven't tried them yet, however, I'm waiting until Q is a little older.

[mtngirl81]

We use the Playtex Vent-air bottles with both the slow and fast nipples... Both work like a charm for us!

[lakeruby]

I'm also going back to work. Ugh. I have 2 months off (only 1 month left, le sigh...).  

I'm VERY nervous about leaving Lina (rhymes with China by the way :) even though we're not putting her in daycare or anything yet.  DH and my mom are going to be watching her during the day. I'm so thankful for that. But at this point, I'm her primary caretaker and I can't imagine being away from her all day!  My work is close to home, so I plan to come home for lunch to nurse.  

I am going back part time for a week at first, to ease into being away from Lina all day.

I plan to introduce the bottle at 5 or 6 weeks.  Which, come to think of it, is right around the corner!  Oh my goodness. I will check out those bottles y'all are using.

Is anyone else leaving DC with their partner or other family? I'm wondering how to make that transition.  I guess once we've started giving her bottles it will be easier to see how it will all work.  Currently she's glued to my breast for most of the day :)

[Lizbiz]

So glad I'm far from the only one headed back soon!  

Bottles: I am using NUK bottles.  Anthony seems to like those quite a bit.  We tried using the Medela bottles that came with my pump - and Anthony will take them - but he really sucks down a bottle quickly when we use a Nuk, and since my husband will have Anthony as well as our 2 1/2 year old at home, time matters.

My first was super picky about what bottle he would take (unlike my other two - who were both much more laid back) and the only thing that worked for him was the Adiri nurser bottle.  I still have a couple - but I won't use that unless I have to.

Lakeruby - how close are you to your work?  I'm 3.6 miles away and am wondering if I could also make that work.  But how will you make it work getting back and forth - will that pretty much take up your entire lunch hour?  How do you also fit in pumping sessions and still work enough time in a day?  As you can see, I'm also (at least for the time being) in the same boat - my husband will be the primary caretaker during the day - since we have 3 kids and both have careers, we really share childcare a LOT - We don't function the same, but we've found a rhythm and I've had to learn to let go of being such a control freak.  Although not really, my husband just teases me about what a freak I am to get me to chill out.  I'm trying.   

Currently, my plan is to pump twice a day at work - once between 10-11am and once again between 1:30-2:30pm or so.  I work from 8-5pm at the office and I'll be doing work from home at night as well once I can manage it, I'm sure.  Does this sound like enough pumping?  I figure I'll be working through lunch at my desk because the pumping sessions are going to take up 25 minutes or so a pop and that, added up, is a lunch hour thereabouts.  

And, confession - I've committed to trying to pump and continue to exclusively breastfeed.  But, I don't know what this job will be like.  So, I'm giving myself permission to surrender and do formula during the day if I think I might lose my mind.  I'm already so tired and I'm not really sure how I'm going to survive fitting a full day of work into my life.  Somehow it'll all work out, I'm sure.  

[iixivboots]

We're using avent bottles when we need them, but we also got Dr. Brown's stage one nipples that fit into the storage bottles for the Ameda Purely Yours pump (it takes any standard nipple, these were recommended).

I am also thinking about giving myself permission for the formula supplementation if I need it. Who am I kidding, though, I worked so hard to get him back EBF after having to supplement his first week, I'm going to be an emotional wreck if I can't keep up with the pumping. :(

[LilyTiger]

I don't go back to teaching until the end of November, but I have administrative work I have to start keeping up with starting next week. It's hard enough finding time to get two hands free and I'm a little worried how this transition is going to go.  Things also got more complicated in terms of my going back to teaching.  DH picked up a coaching job which, while fantastic because it's what he's wanted to do and will give him something he's really passionate about, really screws up our child care options.  Part of me would just put her into day care two days a week (which is all we really need covered), but the rest of me doesn't want to have to finish vaccinations that early and the other part of me thinks we can cobble something together with family and friends.  I'm just really torn. 

Once I find out about whether the Affordable Care Act requires my insurance to cover a breast pump, I'll buy the Medela and start pumping.  Piper already takes a bottle like a pro after her stay in the special care nursery, so I don't have to worry about that much.  I do have to worry that she won't take a pacifier and my boobs are pretty much all that makes her happy at certain times of day and I don't think a bottle will cut it.  My friend who has offered to take care of her one day a week is still nursing her 10 month old, so in a worst case scenario there's a boob there (my friend already offered, so I'm not volunteering up her boobs or anything), but that wouldn't work if it was my mom or my MIL.  ARGH.  It's all very complicated.  To make matters worse, I have no idea what my teaching schedule is, so I don't even know if I'm looking for two days a week or nights or what.

(We're using Dr. Browns bottles too, by the way.) 

[lakeruby]

Originally Posted by Lizbiz 

Lakeruby - how close are you to your work?  I'm 3.6 miles away and am wondering if I could also make that work.  But how will you make it work getting back and forth - will that pretty much take up your entire lunch hour?  How do you also fit in pumping sessions and still work enough time in a day?  As you can see, I'm also (at least for the time being) in the same boat - my husband will be the primary caretaker during the day - since we have 3 kids and both have careers, we really share childcare a LOT - We don't function the same, but we've found a rhythm and I've had to learn to let go of being such a control freak.  Although not really, my husband just teases me about what a freak I am to get me to chill out.  I'm trying.   

Currently, my plan is to pump twice a day at work - once between 10-11am and once again between 1:30-2:30pm or so.  I work from 8-5pm at the office and I'll be doing work from home at night as well once I can manage it, I'm sure.  Does this sound like enough pumping?  I figure I'll be working through lunch at my desk because the pumping sessions are going to take up 25 minutes or so a pop and that, added up, is a lunch hour thereabouts.  

And, confession - I've committed to trying to pump and continue to exclusively breastfeed.  But, I don't know what this job will be like.  So, I'm giving myself permission to surrender and do formula during the day if I think I might lose my mind.  I'm already so tired and I'm not really sure how I'm going to survive fitting a full day of work into my life.  Somehow it'll all work out, I'm sure.  

my commute is about 5-10 mins.  i dont have a super-strict schedule, so i'm not worried about taking a bit longer at lunch if i need it, especially at first.  my boss is understanding.  as for pumping, i havn't really thought about it yet.  i have no idea how long it will take during the day...guess i should look into that!  my co-worker said she just closed her office door and kept working while pumping if she needed to, so that is probably what i will do.  i hadn't figured on it taking up my lunch hour...hmmm.

also, my cousin went back to work at 3 mos and she exclusively breastfed without pumping!  she had her DH bing baby to her work for the lunch hour, and she said that baby quickly learned to fill up before she left in the morning, and was fine during those two 4-hr stretches!  i am too nervous to try this, she is one of those super-confident moms that just make things work!

[eleuthia]

Originally Posted by lakeruby 
Is anyone else leaving DC with their partner or other family? I'm wondering how to make that transition.  I guess once we've started giving her bottles it will be easier to see how it will all work.  Currently she's glued to my breast for most of the day :)

My LO will be home with his dad when I go back to work (he works restaurant hours so our workdays won't overlap). Calder is 5 weeks old and we just started introducing the bottle with pumped milk. This should get easier once my electric pump arrives, but for now I pump w/ my manual while my partner does the feeding (in the evenings). It won't happen daily due to his work schedule, but we're doing it when we can. I know there is a lot of advice about mom leaving the room/house for bottle feedings, but I wanted to be around to make sure he's latching on to the bottle ok, etc. and the baby's been ok with this. And we haven't had any problems going between breast and bottle so far. 

Also, we're tip-toeing into separation. I went to my 6 week postpartum visit alone today - I was gone about 2 hours, and the baby slept while being worn almost the entire time! So he was fine. My boobs were leaking before I even got to the doctors office, but I did ok too :) I even managed to pick up lunch on the way home. I have a couple other things I should try to schedule while still on leave (dentist, etc) and I will probably go alone to those appointments as well. It's hard, because I want to spent all the time with him that I can, but I also need to be confident he'll be ok before I leave for a full day of work. 

[iixivboots]

Guys, I cannot believe I am doing this. But after another crying breakdown last night, I'm going to call my HR people and see about extending until the new year unpaid.

I know under FMLA they don't have to let me, and I also feel like it will just be up to my principal.

I am not sure if I want to return to work but I KNOW I am not ready yet. I am also very scared of getting sick (stupid germy teaching job) and my asthma has been flaring up. In the past I've ended up very sick, miserable, and pumped full of steroids to get through cold and flu season. If I go back, I have no sick leave, I was required to use it all. I don't think it's bad enough that I'd get a doctor's note for long term disability.

I just feel like I'm stepping off a cliff with this issue but I also feel like that about going back...

[lakeruby]

Boots-- i hope your principal is understanding!  

i am actually looking forward to going back to work, in some ways, but i really wish i had the option to work part time!  

[Veritas Vitae]

I hope that you are able to extend your leave, Boots.

Since the only way I can keep my current job would be to go back to Florida, I'm feeling a little anxious about finding a new job in the future. I've been out of work for 6 weeks now (we get two weeks prior to our due date), and I feel pretty disconnected from work at all. I wasn't planning on going back to work until March 1, but between not knowing what is going to happen and feeling so distant from work, I am disconcerted and keep feeling like I have to figure out my next steps now.

[iixivboots]

Update: I called HR today and found out we get 1 year of unpaid extended family leave per our contract. I had NO idea. I am thinking I will extend to the new year if I get my principal's blessing. Money will be tight but I am hoping we can make it work.

Tomorrow I call my principal. Please cross your fingers. If he doesn't want to approve it or wants me reassigned, things could get messy. But I sort of doubt it, I don't know!?

VV, I am so glad you posted about your situation. I just don't want to feel totally alone in this gray area. I do hope it works out for you. The biggest gift this leave will give me besides time with Lyle is more TIME to think about my future and the future of my family.

[pennywhistle]

That's great news, Boots - fingers crossed for sure!

I will be going back to work after Thanksgiving, leaving the baby with my husband (he's taking the semester off school to be home full-time).  My mom lives 5 minutes away, so she'll be coming by to help out, and will probably take 1-2 afternoons a week.  I will be pumping at work - they have a lactation room in the building with a bunch of pumps, so I won't have to drag mine to work with me, which I'm VERY glad about!  I'm also planning to work from home 1-2 days a week so that I'll be able to keep breastfeeding throughout the day.