Hello lovely mamas. It's been SO long since I last posted here. This is mostly due to my return to work and how TOTALLY INSANE AND CHAOTIC life suddenly became...
I have been skimming the group and missing a bit those days when I could really read and post! Today I'm here because I'm really in need of advice and maybe support and some BTDT experience from all of you. I suppose this targets the full time working moms who are breastfeeding their babes.
So, I've been successfully EBF'ing DS2, and just as with DS1, it just has been going so well... I am convinced something like half and half comes out of my boobs because he's enormous and nurses for like 5 minutes MAX and only on one side at a time.
With DS1, I breastfed for 16 months. I returned to work at 12 weeks and pumped until his first birthday when I continued to BF but happily gave my pump to another new mom to borrow, since DS could drink milk now and was eating a lot of solid food, etc.
I felt great having pumped for 9 straight months, and never giving formula. I can state definitively that breastfeeding while working full time was 100% a success with DS1.
So, now I'm back at work and, much to the chagrin of my nipples, back at the pump again. Only this time, my job is much more intense (it's the same place I was working four years ago but I've since been promoted and have a lot more responsibility... days are FULL when I'm here). I am lucky my work is supportive of my need to pump, I can pump at my desk, so I definitely can multi task, but I am having SO MUCH TROUBLE this time.
I know I have plenty of supply when I'm at home and actually feeding him, but I am afraid that I just can't find the time to pump the 15-17 ounces of milk DS2 needs while I'm gone.
I'm feeling super stressed out about it (which I know doesn't help with production) but seriously it's so hard to fill a full bottle.
Yesterday, I had back to back meetings and wasn't able to eat lunch until 3pm (!) because I had to spend all my "free time" (mute on conference calls!) pumping milk for DS. And I still only barely pumped 15 ounces.
DS is a big baby, and he chugs a 5 oz bottle very quickly. While he is clearly growing and so I guess getting enough food, I wouldn't be surprised if he were able to eat 8 oz at a time especially in the morning when he is the most hungry.
He basically nurses (cluster feeds?) from when i get home at 5-ish until bedtime at 7-ish.
So, essentially, I am nursing ALL THE TIME that I'm home, and when I'm away I need to be pumping all the time to fill the bottles he needs while I'm at work.
And to make matters more complicated, there are a few weekend events coming up where I'm going to need to leave the baby with his grandma and use some of that precious milk on a Saturday -
and then, in early December.... my first over night work trip... I never did overnight travel when DS1 was that small (I guess he will be 7 months by then but I don't think I traveled overnight until DS1 was about 11 months old).
So all of this to say -- do I just give in and buy some formula to supplement if/when I can't pump enough bottles? I know that formula isn't the worst thing in the world and I've even given advice to some mommy friends to use it if that's how they maintain their sanity.
But I am having so much trouble taking my own advice. I know it would be great on a Saturday morning to go to my 1.5 hour yoga class and not worry about having to pump a bottle or use up my precious work milk supply ... But it kills me to give DS formula.
It really does.
Am I just being overly emotional here?
What is it about formula - especially when I really wouldn't be using it that often, and then just a few ounces here and there - that makes me cringe, and makes me so depressed?