Pregnancy and Breastfeeding « Back to Group Discussions

[DrMommaLaelle]

I've been off the computer for awhile, so will get updated on some of the other threads when I can.  But wanted to check in with the other Mommas out there who are breastfeeding another child at this point in pregnancy.  It was okay for me at first, but the last few days my nipples are extremely tender and it's really not that fun!  Luckily DS1 is 3 and only nurses a few times a day now, but it feels like at least 2 times too many right now.

I am hoping my milk will run out or start to taste funny or something so that the transition will be his choice not mine.  But not sure I want to wait and suffer through painful nursing sessions!  Especially when I already feel dehydrated all the time and could use all those fluids.  

If anyone else here has any thoughts or their own experiences to share, that would be great!

[LisamommyRN]

I'm not nursing at the moment, but I was nursing DS1 when I got pregnant with DS2. He was almost 2 and able to understand if I set limits (after we read this story or you can nurse while I sing the ABCs and then we'll play together). So when my nipples were tender in the first few weeks, that's what we did. The he resumed a more on-deman schedule until he weaned very slowly and gently when I was about 5 months pregnant.

HTH!

[BeagleMommy]

I nursed my first all the way through my pregnancy with my second and then tandem nursed them. At first, it was extremely painful at times, but it got more bearable as the pregnancy wore on. Sometimes after she latched, it would be painful enough, I'd tell her no nursing right now. She was two and understood even if she didn't like it. This pregnancy is going much the same, but with three year old boy in place of two year old girl.

Ultimately, I'm glad my daughter didn't wean when I was pregnant with my son and that we all got to share tandem nursing time. I think it helped my daughter understand her baby brother better. So, that's what I'm attempting again.

[Quinalla]

I weaned my DD ~19 months, so we aren't BFing now. I can't imagine doing it with the way my breasts feel right now, so if you do make the decision to wean, I would certainly understand! At the very least, definitely give yourself permission to set strong limits on the length, timing and number of nursing sessions. Anyway, hopefully someone else has experience they can share! If you get through pregnancy, would you want to tandem nurse?

[DrMommaLaelle]

Thanks everyone!  Sometimes it's just nice to know I'm not the only one  .

Thankfully, it's most uncomfortable the initial latch on and for about 10 seconds.  After that, it's really not so bad.  He's really understanding about trying to do it very gently, but even so, there are times where I've had to just tell him "sorry honey, we'll have to nurse more later".  

One day at a time, one day at a time...

I'm actually not sure if it was worse in the beginning when I wasn't as tender, but just found nursing annoying, or now when it hurts but I'm not annoyed by him touching me anymore!

[nstewart]

I'm nursing DS as well, and I'm lucky because so far it hasn't been too uncomfortable.  Last night it was pretty painful, but other than that one time it hasn't been.  And, since DS is 2, he only nurses a couple of times a day (bedtime, naptime when I'm home, and then a few times through the night when he climbs into bed, plus a marathon "attached to my boob but not really nursing" usually from 6 am on). 

I'm starting to resent the night nursing, and am thinking of cutting that out as much as possible.  At the same time, I would like to nurse DS through this pregnancy and then tandem nurse (if DS still wants to nurse) even if it means dry nursing if that isn't too painful.  DS is still really attached to his "mamma moot" as he calls it.  I'm not ready for us to give that up yet.

I think we all just have to do what works for us and our nurslings.

[Virginia884]

I"m nursing DD (18m) and wouldn't describe it as painful, but with increased soreness. I work full-time, so she only really nurses in the morning, evening, and then at night. My biggest complaint is that she has amped up her night nursing and now wakes 4/5 times a night to nurse. I have stopped offering the breast at every waking. I am hoping she weans soon and starts sleeping better. I do not want to deal with nursing two kids and pumping enough milk for babe to have at daycare.

[sweetlowmom]

I am currently nursing my 3.5 year old boy, but in the past week (i'm 6weeks 4 days by my calculations) my milk has completely dried up. He still nurses at bedtime and a teensy bit in the morning though. I'm pretty lazy about the whole thing (i don't have the heart or energy to make him wean LOL) but I find that it doesn't actually hurt at all - it actually alleviates some of the breast pain i've been having, in a weird kind of way. What is driving me crazy is the twiddling. I have never been able to break him of the habit, maybe because it never bothered me so much, but now it is a constant struggle. So we are working on that!! Now I won't let him nurse if he does it, so he is picking up on it fast :) I'll be interested to see how things go with all of you nursing mommies!
 

[lovemyryguy]

I nursed my first son through my second pregnancy, and am now nursing both.  First time around my milk was basically gone by 14 weeks, colostrum came back around 22 weeks.  I'm having the initial latch pain now.  My older son only really nurses 2 time a day so not a big deal, but my 2 year old nurses all day and night.  I sleep through the night nursing, so thats ok, but during the day it can be annoying.  I'm hoping once my milk is gone both boys decide to quit :) I've been breastfeeding for over 4 years straight, I'd love a little break!

[grazy101]

I'm nursing my 21 month old and am doing all I can do be able to continue to nurse him and utlimately to tandem the two. My IBCLC recommend motherslove - more milk two. I just ordered it today and should have it on thursday. So hopefully it will help.
 

[Beachgrrl]

I am also still nursing my 2 yo boy though only at night. I am hoping he will self wean but I really doubt it. He weaned himself to this point which is very little but I am not sure I am up for tandem nursing at night.  Though I would hate to give up our special snuggle time when he is in constant motion during the day.

[pastormama]

My 18-month-old is still nursing a bit.  I'm really concerned about the situation when the new baby arrives.  I struggled with milk supply a LOT with DD and ended up using domperidone to bump it up to almost-full production.  I'm concerned that i won't have enough for both.  On the flip side, I think having a toddler with a strong and experienced suck may help bring in the mature milk after birth (I had problems with no engorgement and no milk "coming in" for five or six days after birth).  DD LOVES to nurse, like her favorite thing ever.  I don't think I produce much milk at all anymore, but it doesn't seem to bother her!

[hannybanany]

My 17 month old is still nursing. It's uncomfortable, but not painful. I've nursed through two pregnancies and tandem nursed twice, and even though it isn't my favorite thing to do I don't mind. It does help with the transition after the new baby arrives.

[sweetlowmom]

hey nursing mamas,

i was wondering who all among you are thinking of/planning to/debating tandem nursing when this new baby arrives. i do feel like personally i don't have a problem with it, and would/will happily try if DS doesn't wean before May, but a comment made by a friend of mine (who has always been very supportive of my nursing) made me think twice the other day ... i think this might just be societal/cultural pressure, but then i think ... am I really "infantilizing" my DS? he IS 3.5 years old. i can't even think about "weaning" though - i mean, it's just such a routine for him to nurse to sleep. easier for all of us. but will he really grow out of that???? ever???? ack!!! i guess i just need a little been there done that (or are there thinking about that!) support. thanks!!
 

[cadybh]

So far so good, though it's early.  DS only nurses 1-2/day and skips probably 2 days/week so it's not a huge demand at this point, which is largely why it's so tolerable I suspect.  I am hyper sensitive to any bite or even graze with his teeth, YIKES.  We'll see how we continue, I'd really like to let him lead the way with this whole thing.

And sweetlow - I don't think it's infantilizing.  For me personally it's been about letting DS let go himself when he's ready.  Maybe that will be at 3, 3.5, 4, who knows?  I am okay with it, even though the idea of still nursing a 4 year old blows my mind at this point.  But how do YOU feel?

[sweetlowmom]

you're so right, cadybh - thanks for reminding me that it is more about being there for him until he's ready to move on. I believe I'm okay with it, I think it is more the "societal" judgment that has me down right now, and maybe a bit of fear of HOW it will actually all work out. there's very little demand from DS as well - just a bit in the morning and at night, sometimes a few times through the night. and of course that can change in 8 months! but ... i guess it scares me in a way, because it's not something i've ever seen modeled by any family members, or even talked about or acknowledged as OK by anyone besides the online community. here's to going ahead with what i believe in ...!!
 

[CoBabyMaker]

Not nursing this time but I nursed DD1 all the way through my pregnancy with DD2.  My breasts were never terribly tender so I didn't have an issue because of that.  My issue was that DD would just sort of "rest" her top teeth on my nipple and it was uncomfortable.  I never was able to correct it.  

DD1 actually started nursing to sleep (she always fought sleep and never had before, she would at times refuse to nurse at bedtime even) when i was around 25 weeks.  It was actually really nice because it had always been a struggle before.  

I was a little concerned because 2 or 3 days before DD2 was born we were nursing on the couch and DD was being wild.  She fell off the couch still attached and scraped the skin off my nipple.   Luckily it healed quickly and DD2 had a great latch so it wasn"t an issue.  We tandem nursed for 3 months.  It was so nice to have a toddler around to help with engorgement and DD1 was so excited to have all  that milk again!    

[nstewart]

Originally Posted by sweetlowmom 

you're so right, cadybh - thanks for reminding me that it is more about being there for him until he's ready to move on. I believe I'm okay with it, I think it is more the "societal" judgment that has me down right now, and maybe a bit of fear of HOW it will actually all work out. there's very little demand from DS as well - just a bit in the morning and at night, sometimes a few times through the night. and of course that can change in 8 months! but ... i guess it scares me in a way, because it's not something i've ever seen modeled by any family members, or even talked about or acknowledged as OK by anyone besides the online community. here's to going ahead with what i believe in ...!!
 

I am hoping to tandem nurse DS, who's 26 months.  He'll be 33 months when this babe is born.

I understand how it is not to have anyone modeling tandem.  I don't even know anyone except on MDC who has nursed as long as I have nursed DS.  While it can be hard when there is pressure from friends/family, I just try to focus on the fact that what matters to me most is my DS and my relationship with him, not the opinions of others who are not walking in my shoes and who have not chosen the same path.  I do not think you are infantilizing him by extended nursing (but I'm biased ).

I had an over abundance of milk with DS and DS now has a sensitivity to cows milk, and doesn't like goats milk (but drinks a very little bit of almond milk).  I'm kind of excited about having this abundant "source" of nutrition for him when my milk comes in for the little bean!   

[cadybh]

Originally Posted by nstewart 

I am hoping to tandem nurse DS, who's 26 months.  He'll be 33 months when this babe is born.

I understand how it is not to have anyone modeling tandem.  I don't even know anyone except on MDC who has nursed as long as I have nursed DS.  While it can be hard when there is pressure from friends/family, I just try to focus on the fact that what matters to me most is my DS and my relationship with him, not the opinions of others who are not walking in my shoes and who have not chosen the same path.  I do not think you are infantilizing him by extended nursing (but I'm biased ).

I don't have a real-life role model for this either, ladies, so I get where you're both coming from (and others who may be/have been in the same boat).  My LLL chapter actually closed when our leader moved away over a year ago, and even she only nursed her children to age 2.5 or so.  My mother nursed me for 3 months and my brothers for 6 and has repeatedly told me nursing past 12 months is "weird," "selfish," and "only for the mother" (how on Earth folks believe that is beyond me, and she doesn't ever really know why she feels that way to explain it to me).  

Some days imagining tandem or even just nursing through the whole pregnancy is scary, I have doubts, etc.  But when I actually do sit down and nurse DS, I know that it's the right thing for us for now because I can just feel it.  I have no clue how long that'll still feel the same, but until it doesn't I'm just along for the ride, I suppose.  I think you put it really well, nstewart: the most important thing is the relationship between the nursing pair.  It's easy to be distracted from that, but at the end of the day that's what I personally want for myself and my son, a strong relationship in this way as long as he desires it.

[sweetlowmom]

Wow, thanks for that, cadybh.  I love how you talk about the importance of your relationship. I feel that way too, even if I get waylaid by cultural expectations sometimes.Thanks for the reminder.

I have to announce that for the Very First Time in 3.5 years (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) DS fell asleep without nursing!!!! Okay, that's not quite true - he's fallen asleep in his stroller a few times, and when DH has been holding him. But this was the first time on a normal bedtime routine night, with me lying next to him. I don't think he's done done by any means, but wow. I sort of can't believe it. !!!!