Originally Posted by nstewart
I am hoping to tandem nurse DS, who's 26 months. He'll be 33 months when this babe is born.
I understand how it is not to have anyone modeling tandem. I don't even know anyone except on MDC who has nursed as long as I have nursed DS. While it can be hard when there is pressure from friends/family, I just try to focus on the fact that what matters to me most is my DS and my relationship with him, not the opinions of others who are not walking in my shoes and who have not chosen the same path. I do not think you are infantilizing him by extended nursing (but I'm biased ).
I don't have a real-life role model for this either, ladies, so I get where you're both coming from (and others who may be/have been in the same boat). My LLL chapter actually closed when our leader moved away over a year ago, and even she only nursed her children to age 2.5 or so. My mother nursed me for 3 months and my brothers for 6 and has repeatedly told me nursing past 12 months is "weird," "selfish," and "only for the mother" (how on Earth folks believe that is beyond me, and she doesn't ever really know why she feels that way to explain it to me).
Some days imagining tandem or even just nursing through the whole pregnancy is scary, I have doubts, etc. But when I actually do sit down and nurse DS, I know that it's the right thing for us for now because I can just feel it. I have no clue how long that'll still feel the same, but until it doesn't I'm just along for the ride, I suppose. I think you put it really well, nstewart: the most important thing is the relationship between the nursing pair. It's easy to be distracted from that, but at the end of the day that's what I personally want for myself and my son, a strong relationship in this way as long as he desires it.