VBAC anyone? « Back to Group Discussions

[MamaBookworm]

I thought there was a VBAC thread on this group, but I couldn't find it. I'm a little over 20 weeks and due at the end of January. So possibly February, I guess. I'm going to a hospital based midwifery group. They are supportive of the VBAC. Feels early to start talking about labor, but I feel like I need a plan. Plus, I think I'm going to hire a doula so need to start interviewing.

So, I asked about....

1. movement in labor (constant monitoring is required but they have telemetric belts that can go in water)

2. "past due cut-off" - still 42 weeks, just like a regular pregnancy, provided no other problems

3. IV - you have to have one, but heplock is ok

4. when to come in - she said, "labor at home, but don't wait until 10cm"

I'll meet with the consulting OB at some point during the pregnancy. 

I just had an ultrasound and have a posterior placenta. So, that's good.

What else can I do?

[Pogo0685]

I also want to have a VBAC, I am having a home birth though because we do not have a birth center here and both of the hospitals nearby are anti-vbac. I don't really have a plan though, I mean I do but my plan is to go into labor, call the midwife, after 5 cm I will fill up my tub and see what happens from there. My last labor was 30+ hours so I'm not sure if this one will be fast or slow like the last one. I did read birthing from within, and a book called active birth. I like active birth more because I felt like it helped me prepare more than birthing from within did, but the first half of the book was so boring I had to stand up to read it or I would fall asleep. But the second half of the book was super helpful. I just started reading my book and watching videos from the pink kit to help prepare a little more. I will be watching this thread to see what advise you get because I really really don't want another c-section.

[hotsauce]

I don't know!  I'm planning a VBAC as well and have very limited options.  I believe I was the one who started the other thread you mentioned, but it was awhile ago...  My choices are to drive 30 minutes to the nearest birth center, plan a home birth VBAC or go into the hospital two blocks away when nearly dilated and refuse a section.  Ugh.  Right now I think I'll go with the birth center because I do not have to have any special monitoring, no IV, they have a great VBAC success rate and the midwives seem really respectful and understanding.  The nurse I visited with there called my last experience 'birth rape' and the midwife on duty was very maternal and kept saying lovely things to me.  "You're very pretty." "You have a beautiful belly" "It's too bad you can't have a home birth with the local midwife you wanted... I think that would be a very healing experience for you."  This is very important to me because my last midwife was a bully, never said a nice word to me and have the worst bedside manner ever.  She actually told me to 'lay still and be a good girl.  Let me do my job'  while she manually forced my cervix open, which caused the swelling that began the downward spiral towards my hospital transfer and resulting c-section.  I don't like the idea of driving thirty minutes to go to a 'home' environment with a midwife, located two blocks from a hospital when MY home is two blocks from the hospital and I could just have a midwife come here, but the one I want is booked and the others I don't vibe with.  My gut says stay home on one level, but on another it's saying 'be with the birth center midwives'.  I'm not reading anything or psyching myself up for anything.  My goal this time is to just allow whatever IS.  And to have a big warm tub and a heating pad. :)  

[MamaBookworm]

I was just reading about hiring a monitrice for laboring at home. Money is a little on the tight side at the moment, and I'm not sure if it is worth it. With DD I had a really strong desire to be alone anyway. 

[MamaBookworm]

I am feeling really frustrated at the moment. I got some VBAC books out of the library and have been combing the internet for resources. But pretty much everything written about it is trying to convince me to do a VBAC. Um, don't need it. I'm not anti-csection or anything, but the recovery kind of sucked for me, so I'd rather not repeat it. 

So everybody gives advice like don't get an epidural, or move around a lot in labor. Use water and other alternative pain management techniques. Where does that leave you if you already did that and it didn't work? I was in good physical shape, I slept and ate during early labor, I used a ball and yoga and got in the shower and all that. I waited for two days through early labor before I went to the hospital. And I don't even think they really rushed me, as I was stuck at 6 cm for over 12 hours in the hospital before they started other interventions. And the first intervention was breaking my water, which, as interventions go, seemed like a good place to start.

I'm just frustrated with this process of figuring out what I did "wrong" and avoiding it next time. But maybe I just need to let that idea go. 

[organicviolin]

You did nothing wrong mama! If it was me I would meditate a lot (given I'm only attempting to start doing that, and really plan on really doing it after the move - anyhoo) about accepting what your body did and know there was a reason for it. I would also meditate on how you would like this birth to go. How you would like it to be handled, how you would like to be treated, what you want your body to do. Then just let it go. Easier said than done of course. 

[hotsauce]

You know, I have a lot of the same doubts and fears about the capability of my body and what I did 'wrong' as well.  In MY mind, I was bullied by my midwife into allowing her to break my water after laboring for 12 or 13 hours and that is what started the downward spiral.  His head came down at a funny angle that didn't apply equal pressure to my cervix so when I started feeling 'pushy' I had a lip.  She then tried to force the lip back which *I think* caused swelling/injury to the cervix.  I pushed for two hours at home before going to the hospital where they told me I had almost torn my cervix and that baby was wedged in/stuck with my cervix swollen so much there was no way out.  I had gone from nearly a ten to a very swollen 8.  I could live with that, decide that this time I won't allow any breaking of my water, insist on resolving a lip with position changes, etc, and feel confident if it wasn't for my freaking MOM.  She was there, she saw everything, and she keeps saying things to me like my son just didn't descend, his head would come down and then "float back up", that she's known women like that whose babies just never descended properly and I'm probably going to have the same problem this time.  Ugh.  It's hard to feel like you have a capable body when the woman who gave you that body is the one instilling the doubt in you.  Where your personal experience leaves you is right here in the same boat as me, mama.  I walked, used hot baths, no drugs.  I think for a first time mom sometimes it takes a long time and there is no 'too long' as long as your water is intact.  It takes as long as it takes, you know?  For me, I'm just taking responsibility for what I know I did wrong (hiring a midwife I didn't trust fully or feel respected me) and changing that.  This time I will be in CHARGE of my process.  I won't allow anyone to bully me into anything that feels wrong.  I will be surrounded by nurturing and love and protection.  I will be at home, then at a birth center when the time comes. One of the midwives at the birth center looked me in the eyes and told me what happened to me was 'birth rape'.  I feel acknowledged.  I feel like they know my story and will treat me as an individual with a unique past that will help to shape the kind of care I receive. I will be treated with dignity and respect with no conditions or ultimatums attached to MY birth.  And if absolutely necessary, I will have a repeat c-section knowing that it wasn't something done TO me, but a result of some quirk in my reproductive system.  It would be 100 times easier to know I was given every chance to birth naturally and my body just wouldn't do it than to feel like I ended up on that table because of someone else's impatience or intervention.  Good luck, mama.  You're not alone in these feelings, I assure you.