Postpartum Mamas - Page 3 « Back to Group Discussions

[Jend1002]

MamanFrancaise- I'm sorry to hear that you are fearing that PPD is setting in. My baby blues are in full force - yesterday was bad and today (it's only 10 am) I've been weeping all morning. I'm trying to nail down the triggers - for me, I feel guilty about my DS1 and our relationship, I am over the top frustrated with how DH is handling DS's behavior and how distant he becomes when he is tired and I need him, and I cry every time I fail at breast feeding, which is every time. Lack of sleep is killer and DS2 is a sleep all day eat all night kid...on my scabby nipples DS1 is now getting up 4 times per night and DH is fighting with him at all hours so I have to intervene just to calm everyone down. So basically I never sleep.

I just went on and on aboutmyself. Sorry! Feels good to get it out though. MamanF, I hope that because you are identifying your concerns so early, you can get through this quickly. I had horrible PPD with DS1 and I am trying to will it away this time. Like that's an option.. Anyway, you are not alone here for sure.

[Ava's Mama]

Jend and others battling the PP blues - I am in the same boat, although I have not cried today, yesterday was a BAD day.  DD is having trouble communicating her feelings with this new transition and having a lot of tantrums.  DH is being very distant, the first 9 months postpartum are not his strongest for his role as a father and partner.  Luckily I have great female support - MIL, mom, girlfriends that I can talk to about it all.  DS is really sweet and quite mellow, although last night he had a 6 hour cluster feed.  My nipples are finally starting to feel normal.  My tear is feeling better, but bleeding picked up again today.  Not sure if it is stress or what. DH and I have our own business so in addition to our new addition he is stressed about the business since if we don't work nothing gets done. He just internalizes everything and I feel like I am walking on eggshells waiting for him to explode. 

[judybean]

So... seriously just *two* days before Leo was born, I realized there was something off going on in the ol rectal region. I googled and came up with hemorrhoids. I guess I should count my blessings I had no clue as to what they were since I had never experienced them before.. but... pushing in birth and trying to get the placenta out exacerbated it all. Basically... now... it hurts :/ It hurts to cough (and I still have a cold, so I cough more than I'd like), it hurts to sit... is there anything I can do?!

[Ava's Mama]

Judy - try a sitz bath I think with witch hazel or epsom salts.  I had them after DD and it was awful, I totally feel for you!

[activealli]

I fear the PPD has set in for me as well. I am crying randomly, and dont really have the energy or drive to do anything. I dont want to eat. I am frustrated at the fact that I still have 20 lbs to lose even though everyone tells me that it looks like I bounced back already. Baby has been extremely colicky and fussy 24/7 and all I can do it blame myself.

I decided to try to eliminate anything from my diet that could be triggering it- including wheat, dairy, and chocolate. I am a vegetarian, so its not leaving much. Fruit, salad, and I made some quinoa, veggies and beans. I have gone GF and vegan before and can do it, but I have to have the time to prepare food ahead of time, which I don't. Today was my first GF vegan day and she is doing much better, so I guess Id better figure out something quick. I can already tell my milk supply has decreased because I had very little to eat today.

I am annoyed at everyone. We spent sunday going for a walk with the IL's and I was a total bitch. They kept telling me how great I look and I snapped back I still have 20 lbs to lose. They told me that my DH was colicky too and its "just the way babies are, especially if its DHs kid" and I snapped back that "there has to be something Im doing wrong". Husband is trying to give me love and support but most of the time Im too tired and worn out to care. Then he gets mad at me.

Not sure what to do at this point. I regret not encapsulating my placenta, as this may have helped. Mostly just feeling overwhelmed with trying to take care of the baby and everything else that is unavoidable at this point. I wish, as I did when I was pregnant, that I could take a break from the rest of life just to enjoy my family a bit! Darn work!

Going to try to find a newborn/family photographer this week. Given... I know they like to do these pictures earlier, but I just didnt get to it. They will be newborn-ish photos.

Im trying to remember why this is so worthwhile... here is a picture of my 1 year old son checking out his little sister... heart... melting...

Afterpains- I had some strong ones as well, especially since I was given some pit at home to control the pp hemmoraging. I took advil for the first few days to deal with them along with the pain from the tearing/splitting. I also continued taking my cal mag supplement.

[Jend1002]

Alli- you have so very much going on! I am a vegetarian and had to go dairy and soy free with DS1. It's exhausting to try to feed yourself- I know exactly what you mean. Its easy to think that it's you who is doing (or not doing) something and to blame yourself but try to remember that there are so many things that we may not be able to control. You are already doing so much to figure out what will work for your DD.

Can you enlist the help of friends/family to prepare some large vegan meals to freeze? In the meantime, can you just try to snack on the foods that are ok so that you aren't impacting milk supply? It may not be what you want to do but at least you'll feel like you are eating. And my goodness- who doesn't still have weight to lose?! You'll be back at your hikes and active lifestyle in no time. I know it doesn't feel like it! The picture of your son looking at the baby is just the cutest thing ever but I will tell you- just seeing that made me think about how hard it must be to have two babies. I think you are being so very hard on yourself when you are clearly doing an amazing job.

[WindyCityMom]

I've never had a bad time with PPD, though I do get the irrational fears and I have anxiety about (my own) death a lot.  And NIGHTMARES.  Weird ones... the other night I was being chased by Frankenstein!  They're the kind of nightmares where you can't wake up easily.

Alli- that photo is just darling <3 I send you a ton of well wishes.

[Worldshakerz]

I definitely get the anxiety/irrational fears although fairly mild compared to previous postpartum times. Nightmares too, though. Like the other night, I dreamed my kids were standing in the middle of the road. I pulled my daughter out of the way of a car but then my son disappeared when a big truck went by. I woke up shaking and then was so relieved when I heard him out in the living room talking to his dad. 

Just FYI for anyone with baby blues, motherwort is supposed to help with that. I take it as needed and I notice an immediate lift in mood/calming effect. It is also a galactogogue, so Alli it may be of double benefit to you as you figure out the food and milk supply issues for you and your LO. You have a lot on your plate right now, and I agree with what others have said - you are doing an amazing job. Sweet pic of your two babies :)

[crystal_buffaloe]

Oh, alli, you have a lot on your plate.

I'm 9 days pp and also eating a ton of chocolate. MIL & SIL both included fancy choc bars with the gifts they brought by and I've had all 6?! already plus several!? nutella sandwiches. Have lost a grand total of 8 (explitive deleated) pounds so far, too.

Maman - I don't think I've dealt with ppd before, but I was incredibly weepy and emotional about the c/s with dd. I would get all stabby if someone mentioned ppd to me though. Maybe that was not a good sign. I'm glad it sounds like you know what to look out for and are getting the help you need.

Evi- your.mom sounds awesome. Mine is coming when dh goes back to work and I'm hoping she cleans my house and fixes my toilet.

Bleeding picked up some today, despite me not really even getting out of bed, so I was a lityle paranoid about that. Only one small clot, though, so I think it's normal.

I'm feeling a little guilty about passing dd off on dh so much, but am more than a lityle terrified about what it's going to be like with TWO kiddos when all my help leaves.

[WindyCityMom]

Today was my first day alone with three kids. DH took a week off unpaid because of all of the complications with me.

MIL was supposed to come in the morning, but came at noon instead so I had a rough morning. We took baby to the doc for her follow up and patient establishment appt.* MIL insisted on buying us dinner, so we got takeout and brought it home. Ate. Now MIL is snoring on my couch . she did help us out but I would have loved to have gotten some laundry folded and sorted. or cleaned up the residual blood in my bathroom (theres not blood all over or anything but still yuck).

I'm still a little weak from the anemia. My blood sugar seems to crash easily also.. So I generally feel like crap. The kids have gymnastics tomorrow afternoon.
I'm debating on whether to take them or not. I am the only one who can.. But I'm not sure I'm ready to be out with 3 kids alone
*baby Nova has gained over half a pound in just 4 days!!!

[Worldshakerz]

Chocolate - Yes. I am really enjoying the chocolate too. I've always loved chocolate, and oddly I had an aversion to it for a good portion of my pregnancy. I'm back to loving it though :)

LOL Crystal, I haven't lost as much weight as I wanted to by now either. I started retaining water right after the birth, it happened when my DD was born too. It got better after a few days and I'm about 10 pounds down at 10 days postpartum. I'm pretty sure its normal for bleeding to increase or decrease off and on, and small clots are definitely normal. 

WCM, I'm 10 days postpartum and still have not even considered going anywhere alone with the kids yet. If you're still feeling weak, don't feel bad about missing gymnastics, go easy on yourself :)

[MamanFrancaise]

I am officially 2 weeks PP today and decided to take my kids to Walmart as they were off school today. I did not want to go anywhere before today as it seemed like a huge undertaking. And my kids are 7 and 11! I can't imagine taking younger children out with a newborn. *shudder*

[MissE]

Group hug mamas. Ppd is no fun it seems. I'm so sorry so many are struggeling with it and the line seems so thin between the baby blues and ppd.

I cried the afternoon after being released from the hospital. I think i have gotten extremely sensitive to noises and everybody seemed so darn loud, my sil and her kids showerd up to hold the baby and i pretty much kicked them out after a few minutes. I could not handle it, especially her 9yo saying stuff like 'is that thing alive?' (The thing being audrie) and 'does that thing have legs?' (She was in a sleepeapod). Ugh..he upset me so much it was hard to just stand there and make conversation.

Anyway: i'm much better now, will be taking the kids to school in a bit and then head for a newborn che kup right after.

As for audrie: i think we might have a case of nipple confusion. I have offered her the paci and she took it very well but since last night has been a sceaming mess whenever i offer the boob. She won't open her mouth far enough and/or even just start sucking at all. She will root and suck her hands like crazy but just not latch and that is so frustrating. She got so upset last night i was at my wits end. Dh suggested walking around and trying to latch her on and it worked. I don't know how but it worked. She nursed well on that side and then slept from 11pm til 4:00am and nursed again. She struggled with the latch agsin but got it after a few tries, though i cant roll her lower lip out, she won't open her mouth far enough. It's not hurting me but i'd like to get it corrected after all.

Well, gotta get up. Lunchboxes are waiting to be filled . Hope everyone is having a great day.

[hyde]

Alli, consider my heart melted.. They are just precious. I hope you're doing alright.

Evi, R. has a little similar weirdness going on. We can get a good latch within a couple of minutes, but on the left side especially she kind of just wants to hang out and let the milk do the work for her with the initial letdown. I try to put her on and she sits there for a few seconds and pops back off. I don't think my letdown is particularly forceful, but in a way she's right, she doesn't have to suck for it to come at that point. Still, like you, I'd like to get her into the habit of consistently opening wide and latching well. (The hands in the face make me crazy.. I do feed her when swaddled sometimes and that makes for better training time.)

AFM.. my MIL's visa was approved yesterday. She wants to come Oct 22-Nov 5. My brother is here Oct 10-24. That is a MONTH STRAIGHT of visitors. I am an introvert- I need time alone or things aren't pretty. I don't know what I'm going to do. My brother is super low-key so I'm not so worried about that, but my MIL.. We have a fine relationship but are not close. She doesn't drive and doesn't speak English, so can't get out and shop or entertain herself. My husband will be back at work during the days, but of course will want to hang out with his mom at night. MIL is coming to see the baby, but honestly, I don't want anyone to take the baby off my hands. I'm a bit of a control freak in general, and with my girl, I can't even really relax all the way when my husband takes her to another part of the house, let alone someone who thinks breastmilk needs to be supplemented with formula as a general rule (!!!). R. eats very frequently and it's not like we're going to start pumping just so MIL feels useful.. Man, I don't know. Major anxiety and stress about this. And some resentment, honestly, when I think of what a huge chunk of my maternity leave I have to dedicate to this. Shortening the visit is not an option. I think I need to ask her to not come until the following week so I can at least have that break, but any suggestions re: how to handle the visit itself are much appreciated. Deep breath. Argh.

[MIrandaM]

Evi, we had that problem for a few days and it cleared up on its own- it was like he suddenly realized that he wanted milk and my breast was the source. Before that he would have the nipple literally in his mouth and still be crying, shaking his head around like crazy and waving his hands around in protest!

Hyde, I wish I had some good advice re your Mil. My in laws are coming on the 30th for a month, so I can sympathize completely We have come up with a few 'useful activities' for them - cooking favorite meals (dh has even made a wish list) including some for the freezer, grocery shopping (we'll provide cash of course, but they like going into town), walking the dog, some sewing projects for the baby that my Mil will be thrilled to do, a couple of minor home repair projects for Fil etc we've also purchased public transport passes and timetables and a book of local walks - ha! I wrote up a sheet with instructions for our washing machine, dishwasher etc so that they can do light clean up without needing me. Then I'll hand off the baby a couple times a day after big feeds so that I can shower, sleep, or do work for my business. He usually lasts an hour after a big feed with no problems. He might just sleep that whole time, but he sleeps best on someone's chest anyway. I completely understand about being introverted as well. When my mom came to visit I solved this by hanging out with her all day but going 'to bed' right after dinner, where I'd chill in my room and read or cuddle and catch up w DH. She'd read or watch tv, it was fine. I hope it works out ok for you, and if you come up with good strategies let me in on them!!

AFM, LO is 17 days old now and he's starting to get chunky! The cracks on my nipples have finally healed as of today. Still getting that tender compression crease down the length of the nipple and the lipstick shape, only on right side. We're working to keep that latch deep bc it improves those problems, during the day it's ok but I swear his ability to latch deeply disappears at night. No signs of PPD, sending a lot of love to those mamas who are struggling with that. I do worry about future ski trips that our boy will take, and get so anxious when I see someone speeding or drive on a curvy road - but to be honest I had these worries long before even getting prego. I'd say my biggest problem is keeping my blood sugar steady. Baby's always kind of crazed in the mornings so I struggle to eat a good breakfast then I get all frazzled and frustrated. Once I eat everything seems so much easier. Also my skin is a wreck, no break outs, but my jaw, neck, and eyes are so itchy and bumpy- I'm wondering if it's allergies, my gut health or some related reaction, lack of sleep? I am also covered in bug bites on hands, arms, legs. So i'm not sure what's going on.

Now that my needs are less, DH is a champ at helping out! I wonder if he was just totally overwhelmed before? He's comfortable holding the baby now (at long last) and I bought groceries today and he made the nicest dinner, has been doing all the dishes, offering to help with everything, and affectionate! Where was this 10 days ago?? Oh well, he's doing it now so I should just appreciate it!

[WindyCityMom]

Lochia question... in the morning, my lochia is really thick and dark red.  I don't have a ton of it, but the consistency is weird.  Like thin syrup almost.  Not that thick.  I don't bleed much during the day.  I probably overexherted myself today.. went to the bathroom with a VERY full bladder and cramping because of it and had a bunch of this thick lochia.  

I don't have any odor or fever.. idk.  Anyone experience this?  I feel like my description of the consistency is off.. but I don't know how else to explain it.  It sounds really bad, it's not that bad.  Just thick.  I see my midwife on Friday but I'm not sure if this warrants a call.

[Worldshakerz]

WCM, I'm pretty sure its just that while you are laying down sleeping the lochia kind of builds up/pools until you are upright in the morning. Sounds normal to me. 

MissE, Benji does something similar even though I haven't given him a pacifier or anything. He will root around/act hungry and it takes a few tries sometimes to get him latched. It's a combination of things for him. He doesn't really open his mouth big enough, it takes a lot of work for me to get him latched on correctly. And then almost immediately he lets go and just has the tip of my nipple in and then I have to start over. In addition, once he is latched on he will quite often fall asleep after only one or two minutes. I have to undress him down to just his diaper and give him lots of kisses and tickle his feet and get him awake and a little bit mad, then get him latched on again and then he will finally nurse for a good 15 to 20 minutes on one side. 

[hyde]

Originally Posted by Worldshakerz 

He will root around/act hungry and it takes a few tries sometimes to get him latched. It's a combination of things for him. He doesn't really open his mouth big enough, it takes a lot of work for me to get him latched on correctly. And then almost immediately he lets go and just has the tip of my nipple in and then I have to start over. In addition, once he is latched on he will quite often fall asleep after only one or two minutes. I have to undress him down to just his diaper and give him lots of kisses and tickle his feet and get him awake and a little bit mad, then get him latched on again and then he will finally nurse for a good 15 to 20 minutes on one side. 

Do we have the same baby??! Wow, that was great to read.. this is Rocío exactly. (I will say- she's apparently hit a growth spurt today, is doing some crazy cluster feeding, and the latch has been a whole lot easier with less-full breasts. A bit apprehensive about what tonight might bring..)

Miranda, it sounds like you are as well-prepared as it's possible to be.. 30 DAYS!? I'd be headed to a hotel myself halfway through, I think. ;)

[crystal_buffaloe]

I have been making myself sit up in bed, in hopes that it would help with the horrible nighttime latch, though we did do successful side-lying once on both sides today. I am sooooo looking forward to being able to semi-sleep during feeds at night.

I've been working on addressing birth announcements. I meant to print out labels in advance, but that never happened. I know it's a silly tradition, but I'm a sucker for stationary and like the keepsake.

Hyde - I have no real advice, I'm just glad my MIL isn't staying with us. Do you get along? Asking for a
break between visitors is a good idea, as is 'here you hold the baby while I take a shower is she the kind of person who will clean and cook for you? Do you want her to? Will your DH take any days off while she's here? Good luck!

[domermommy]

Hi, ladies... I guess I can join in here now :) 

I hope those of you with baby blues and PPD start feeling better ASAP, if you haven't started feeling better already. I started taking more fish oil, vit D, etc to try to keep the baby blues at bay, but that hasn't seemed to work for me so far. I get very teary several times a day :( I hope it passes quickly because seriously, this is just ridiculous. After the physical and emotional exhaustion of pregnancy and birth, plus the sleep deprivation, it's just unfair to throw baby blues into the mix for the majority of moms. Sheesh. 

I'm also freaking out about how I'm going to handle a 2.5 year old and a newborn once my husband goes back to work in a week. I realize how lucky I am that I have had him home, but I hate feeling that panic set in every so often during the day... again, I hope it's mainly the baby blues and will leave soon. 

I saw someone recommend motherwort -- how much should I take? I'm willing to try anything.