Got my first 'is it twins?' today...
I hear ya. And I'm mad at myself for caring, too... I've always been a thin woman but for whatever reason I gain a lot during pregnancy. Like I pee on the stick and am immediately ten pounds heavier. What bothers me is that just now, at 24 weeks, I am starting to really look pregnant. So to most people I just look like I put on a good 25 pounds. Ugh. I have cellulite that has just magically appeared all over my thighs, my boobs are HUGE, and I've developed these lovely hip 'handles' that were never there before. It totally sucks to feel like six months ago I was super hot and now I'm super huge. I'm in a different boat, though, because I feel like if I at least looked pregnant people would stop saying things like, "Wow, she's gained a lot of weight" behind my back (this has actually happened a time or two). I vowed to be more active and to eat less crap this time because I gained 60 last time, but my hips/lower back hurt so bad it's hard to walk a lot of the time now that baby is getting bigger. It IS depressing that we as women don't get a break even during pregnancy from the ridiculous expectations, and I think it's made all the worse by all these articles in the media about 'how so and so got her body back', and 'how to lose the baby weight'. WHY do I have to be concerned about losing the baby weight BEFORE I've given birth to a healthy baby? Body image shit sucks and I feel like I suck for caring so much. I call myself fat or comment on my size at least once a day. I feel like I might be a little more obsessed than I admit and then I feel like a bad person for not being able to not worry about it. But is it our fault we can't just shed decades of societal programming? You're a bad mom if you only gain fifteen pounds, you''re vain, you're putting baby at risk. You're a bad mom if you give in to cravings and put on 60. As a female, we're just damned either way it seems.
I'm with hotsauce. I got some maternity clothes donated to me and while they are SUPER comfy, in great shape, were free, and I'm totally psyched to wear the (because I haven't been able to fit into ANY of my normal clothes since about week 8 onwards) they are a size or two too large and I feel like I'm sailing around in a billowy tent everywhere I go. And yet people are still surprised when I say I'm pregnant. I don't get it. I put on so much weight, but I guess it went mostly to my thighs and waist and boobs and a bit of stomach, but it doesn't look too "bump"y. =/
With my DS I was so malnourished due to HG that when I walked into the hospital, in labor, to deliver him at 37 weeks, when I asked to go to L&D they asked if I was there to visit someone. When I said that I was going to give birth they freaked out. But I was just looking back at the bump pictures of that one and at 22 weeks I was... oh gosh. There was NO belly. None. I all but had a six pack at that point. Now I'm about 22 weeks and I am grotesquely bigger - and yet I STILL doesn't look preggers! Wah! I'm even waddling a bit already. Geesh.
Yes, it started to bother me the last couple of weeks when I started to see the cellulite on my legs. And some of the smaller sized maternity clothes I've been wearing are feeling too small. I have this cute maternity dress a friend gave met that is a (generously cut) XS, and it felt awesome to wear. Until I tried to squeeze into it this morning and I could tell that ship has sailed. I'm usually a M, so it made me more sad than it stung. I delivered my DD at 27 weeks, so I never made it to the third trimester last time to see how big I would really get, and I swear my belly is rounder now at almost 22 weeks as it was at 27. I keep wondering where how far out this belly is going to stretch in the next 4 months? But that's a good sign for the baby right? I wish I felt more fit, that would help offset some of the body change issues, but I'm too tired for much cardio, and my joints are too loose to do yoga without developing tendonitis (words of the instructor at the last prenatal yoga class I went to a month ago). Sigh.