Well I have been waiting to see what was going to happen with this fetal arrhythmia since I found out about it and finally I was told at my last prenatal appointment on friday they had scheduled me for a 39 week induction the day the arrhythmia was detected. I asked why I wasn't told about it and they said they were hoping I would go into labor on my own.
I have very mixed feelings about it. I am happy to know there is an end in sight. Since finding out about Christabelle's condition I have done nothing but worry and cry. I think I am about to have a nervous breakdown. Last night I was awakened to the sound of my neighbors playing their music way too loud. I was so terrified when I woke up though and it took me about 10 minutes to realize what was going on. When I first woke for some reason I just began to panic thinking I had woke up because my baby was inside me dying and my body was waking me up to tell me. I could feel the subtle vibrations on my bed from the base outside which then made me think God was coming down to take her. I know it sounds so far out of this realm that I would think that but I was half asleep and I think still in a dream like state. My heart was beating so fast I thought I might have a heart attack until I finally realized what the noise was. I swear I wanted to go outside with a shotgun! But I have really been a wreck since finding out. A blubbering over reacting mess. So it's somewhat of a relief to know I will soon be able to see and touch her and know she is ok.
On the other hand I am very let down about this being my last pregnancy and knowing I will probably not have all that fond of memories of my labor. I wish I could start labor naturally and stay here in the comforts of my own home until I know it is about time to push. Stay with my kids and my husband and talk about how I did it medicine free. I have been through an induction before and I know this is going to be a very painful and tiring ordeal. Not the natural carefree labor I had planned. Plus this knocks an entire week off the time I had planned to have. I am currently trying to shove everything into this weekend since it is the last weekend I will have.
Last time I was induced I was already dilated to a 7 but labor stalled out so it was no biggy to get it started again. Pitocin took my labor from "ok cool I'm in labor" to "GET ME AN EPIDURAL NOW!!!!!!!'. And with my oldest son I had a full on induction because labor didn't start on it's own at all. Terrible experience. But for some reason this time around being a lot older and a lot more aware I am terrified that trying to induce labor is going to prove unsuccessful and I will end up having to get a c section. Up until today my downstairs area has not done anything at all. Baby is high, not effaced at all, and no dilation. But just today a ray of hope, checking my cervix I see baby is still very high and cervix is closed, but FINALLY! I am beginning to efface. I'm going to say I am at a good 50-60 percent effaced. So this gives me hope that maybe I could still start labor on my own before my induction date but if not, at least my body is moving in that direction and an induction may not be a total shock to the system and fail.
Well there is my update folks. I probably won't have time to be on before induction next week so next post will hopefully be filled with good news and baby pics.