For me that was last year, except I have a vague memory of it being OK by halfway through 12, and so far 13 has been a breeze. My 8 year old melts down like this on a regular basis, but my 13 year old has learned how to temper her emotions. It's very difficult when they want to engage you in their angry feelings and you don't want to be in that emotional place.
I've found myself becoming rather inured to it all sometimes when it feels so constant, but often I will announce I won't be a party to it, and I'm going to my room. It seems like when we were kids, our mothers could just order us outside to play or two our rooms, and we'd pretty much go. I get a lot of pushback when I try to do this, although when my kids are mad at me, they generally don't want to be around me. My 13 year old now willingly spends much of her time away from people, but then she will go out and walk the dog if she just feels like she needs to work off feelings, or get some exercise or whatever. My 8 year old would cut off her nose to spite her face, and in the past if I've taken away a privilege, she tries to outdo me. So if I tried to put away a craft, she'd basically grab what she could and throw it all in the trash. She's just not rational when she is angry, but if she finally stomps off, she usually gets a piece of paper and writes out all her angry feelings, telling me why I am wrong to punish her as I have, or what have you.
Sometimes if I react negatively to a comment, my 13 year old will apologize, and then start to say something, then stop and be quiet, and then I urge her to keep speaking, and it will come out that she thinks I'm too sensitive, and this is what her perception is, and one time in a similar situation I said something like she had just said and she wasn't angry. And then I give my perception, and share my feelings and we come to an understanding.
When I'm trying to help and I get snarky comments, I start to give warnings that I'm not going to tolerate it, and then I just say I'm done and walk away. But if she is snarling that she's ready, I'd probably say something like, "You seem kind of pissed off, you don't seem to be enjoying this, what is going on?" And then if the feelings come out, and we are having a discussion, I have been known to go on at length with my views of the issue, and it's usually during that process that they're all like, "OK, I understand, can we just move on now!" So maybe filibustering works, who knows.
Anyway, I don't think there is anything you can do in the heat of the moment that is going to turn off the feelings right then. It's usually a calming down process, and then discussion of what provoked it in the first place that seems to work around here.