A Saner TTC: Harvest Moon - Page 9

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post #161 of 164

10/15/12 at 8:22am

18 Posts. Joined 10/2012
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Feeling sad. I got my hopes up (REAL high) yesterday when I didn't bleed since my cycles are super dependable and I was due to yesterday. I never stopped feeling the ovulation pain which turned into the "too many situps feeling" which I found really hopeful. I had told myself not to get too excited until I made it through the day yesterday without bleeding, so last night my partner and I started feeling excited and started switching gears towards thinking about what came next. So when I woke up to bleeding I was pretty disappointed. My temperature still didn't drop below the coverline like usual so I'm not sure what that is about - feeling like I want to throw the stupid thermometers away (I bought a new one this week because in my crazy haze I thought the old one wasn't working right). I am excited though to try again next month, and I feel like this first time taught me a lot about myself, my fears, my readiness, and prepared me for a more low key and confident experience when it does happen. See you all on the new thread since today is the new moon!

GISDiva: I love your mantra, but I suspect the little voice in my head would be yelling "but I wanna know NOW". Do you use it for meditation? My most commonly used mantra is the green tara mantra "om tare tuttare ture soha". I like both how it feels and its focus on liberation from suffering, which sadly my obsession with ttc sometimes feels to be. Also, I'm sure there was no fluke and your next labor will be lovely too (see my 2nd L&D below)

Lidamera: great question. My first L&D was an experience; in hospital augmented with pitocin for IUGR and then a few very very scary minutes when baby had horrible decelerations in her HR (stinker was born with cord in her fist up beside the widest part of her head). But my MW was with me, I labored in the tub, everyone was healthy, so all in all a positive delivery. 2nd was an unexpected HB - 2h labor, MW came to my house to see me and decide when we were going to hospital - I was 9cm and delivered into her hands 5 min later (My guess was that I was in early labor 3-4cm). It was great, but again a sense of panic. Baby was fine, it was lovely to stay home. I would really like to experience a birth where I wasn't gripped with panic and fear in the moments before my child arrived....

Margo: Hugs. sorry this month wasn't your month.

AFM: D27 today, and usually have a 27 day cycle. Currently on TP watch (sorry TMI). I have had some mild cramps for a few days, but no sign of AF yet. Not trying to get my hopes up. Might test tomorrow. Sadly, my underlying personality is somewhat fatalistic - I am seriously doubting if we will ever get pregnant. No reason to think this, just how I feel. DH is from Mars and doesn't know how to support me (then again, I don't know how to support me). I bought the OPKs last week and made an appt with my Dr for BW later this week - I hoped these two actions would magically result in a BFP... But we shall see.

post #164 of 164

10/15/12 at 3:27pm

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