A Saner TTC: Harvest Moon - Page 2

[dakipode]

klemomma, welcome!

PokeyAC, how are you doing?

I'm having a tough day today. A client brought up the TTC conversation and it threw me in a funk. I wish I hadn't told so many people. I was so excited about this process when we started and I told some of my close clients, the ones who have been with me for years, and now they ask me about it since they can obviously tell from week to week that things aren't happening. On days like these I feel like I need to treat myself, in fact I think a nice cup of tea might pick me up.

How's everyone else? What are some of your simple tricks (tea, singing w the radio, a pastry,...) that help you appreciate the moment?

[pokeyAC]

Hi dakipode!  That does sound like a tough day.  I'm sorry.    I think that's why I did not tell many people I am TTC.  I didn't want to have to answer questions.  I am also a very private person who keeps things inside.  Sometimes that is good, but sometimes it is not helpful.  It's good to be able to talk to close friends about our struggles.  My wife calls me a lone wolf because I keep to myself a lot.  Being on here is one way I can reach out and talk about everything.  It's been very helpful to have all of you here. 

I'm doing fine.  I'm taking my meds and not having any bad side effects.  My follies are growing.  I see the RE tomorrow for an u/s to see what's happening and discuss when to trigger.  I tend to get very stressed out at this point, but I have been working on having more of a "que sera, sera" attitude.  I am going with the flow and not freaking out.  I read somewhere that reducing stress during the waiting to O part is more important than the TWW.  I don't know if it's true, but I have been trying to reduce my stress more.  Usually I do relaxing things during the TWW, but this time I am pampering myself now.  The other day I got a mani/pedi with extra massage.  It was nice.  It made me kind of sleepy.  I worked out yesterday and I am going to yoga tonight.  I am trying to stay active.  Sunday I'm going to bake some cookies for a bake sale and to bring to people at work.  I like to listen to loud music and sing when I bake so that will be fun.  How are you dakipode?

[beingmommy]

Wow so many new posts!

Jjclifton, hugs!  I feel the same way sometimes.  We have a beautiful DS and thought we would not try for a #2 for a long time (DS has many health/dev issues).  But then earlier this year things were going well so we decided to and wound up having a m/c.  We just started trying again last month but some days I think we should just throw in the towel as I get so stressed about it.   But then I feel so wretchedly sad to think I might never have a second.  It's hard.  Currently I am trying to be grateful for what I do have and stay open to the hope for more.

Dakipode, I am so sorry you had a rough day.  That is so hard.  I mean, it helps to let some people know so you are not all alone ont he journey but then it can be hard when they bring it up unexpectedly on a hard day. Oh and you asked a ways back about crafts and books for distraction.  I have not been doing anything yet.  I use to be super crafty and a bookworm but with my DS I don't get a lot of down time.  I'd love to learn how to make beaded jewelry.  I have a few books that I have never looked through.  I also want to start playing the guitar again (I am not very good and then haven't picked it up in years).  If this TTC journey takes much longer than expected I will definitely try to bring some music back into my life.  I have a b-day in October (my 40th - eeek!) and I think I am going to get a guitar.  So if there is still no BFP at least I will have that to distract me in future cycles.  Books, I may read the Harry Potter series again.  Fun and fast. 

Happy2bamama, yay for the acupuncture feeling good again!  I have a tilted uterus and found this woman who does the Maya Abdominal Massage technique and acupuncture.  I called her but she was booked up until October.  I made an appt with her for the second week of Oct and either I will be able to do the Maya Ab or, if I am miraculously pregnant, we'll just do some acupunture.  Feels good to at least have one positive thing waiting for me if I get a BFN.

Klemomma, hi!  This thread is really helping me be accountable to not wanting to POAS every five minutes.  It helps me be more at peace. 

PokeyAC, love that you are pampering yourself!  I have been singning in the car when I drive DS around.  He use to hate when I sang but lately he's been fine with it which is nice.  It makes me feel good.  Interesting about being less stressed during the waiting to O time. Hmmmm, I will have to remember that next cycle. I was definitely letting myself get stressed this last time. 

AFM: Just trying to be calm.  Doing pretty well.  I actually am so sure nothing will happen this cycle I am not even particularly hopeful.  So maybe that is why I am calmer.  I won't be testing unless I am late with AF. 

[pokeyAC]

beingmommy - The Maya Abdominal Massage/acupuncture sounds wonderful.  I would love to hear how it goes and if you find it helpful.  I have considered the massage but haven't yet felt like I could spend that amount of money on it.  Hopefully, neither of us will have to consider it because we will both be pregnant soon.  I love acupuncture.  It is very relaxing, and I did notice changes in my cycle.  I'm proud of you for not POAS every five minutes.    Hang in there.

[jjclifton]

Beingmommy  The abdominal massage sounds interesting.  What is the theory behind it?  

And for those of you who choose acupuncture, what do you look for in a provider?  I have a good friend who is an acupuncturist, but she doesn't seem to want to help me.  It may be because she went through such a journey to have her two kids, both after 40.  It might hit too close to home.

I think the ticking clock is the hardest thing for me right now.  I feel if I don't have a second child, I will always have a sadness in my life.  Or will I be ok?  I just don't know.

[Xerxella]

klemoma - Oh, I SO miss the days of "Well if we just have sex every other day, nine months later we'll have a baby." LOL Ah, those days were wonderful. Now, I really DO know when I'm ovulating and when I'm pregnant and when I'm not. I even know when it's a loss and when the baby's gone. I DO wish I still lived back in the days of ignorance.

jjclifton - I used an accupucturist while I was pg with my dd. I would just look for an accupuncturist who says they do fertility accupuncture. They seem to advertise it.

beingmommy - I hope this is a lucky month for you anyways. I think I'm going to *try* to go into every month with the feeling that, of course, it won't work and then be ready to be surprised. That's the plan at least....

dakipode - As far as telling people, there's nothing wrong with telling people that ask about your fertility that it's not going as smoothly as you wished and we're considering different options and when/if we have any good news, we'll tell you ASAP. It's a nice way of telling people to quit asking. We've flat out told everyone for years now, that we're probably done. And, then they quit asking. I like you're idea of planning a bunch of things, because then surely, you'll get pregnant with a take home baby and throw a wrench into all your plans. Maybe, I'll start working on a doctorate in something. That's sure to make things happen.

happy2b - Surely you won't role a 7 again, right..... Sigh. I, too, wish it was that easy.

pokeyac - Can I ask what you're trying? right before we got pregnant this last time, the doc said she'd start the "infertility" work up and start me on a low dose clomid regiment. Sigh. I wonder if we'll jump right into that plan now or does the clock start again and we wait 6 more months? I'm 37, too.

to everyone else. Sorry if I miss you. I'll try harder to keep up with the thread. There seem to be alot of us who are trying for a saner TTC wait.

AFM - I'm making plans and trying to embrace the truly wonderful life I have. I REALLY am grateful for them and my whole family. I think ovulation is creeping up on me, but since this is a D&C cycle, it seriously has little chance of being successful. I'll try to just run with it and let what happens, happen.

[dakipode]

Originally Posted by pokeyAC 

My follies are growing.  I see the RE tomorrow for an u/s to see what's happening and discuss when to trigger.  I tend to get very stressed out at this point, but I have been working on having more of a "que sera, sera" attitude.  I am going with the flow and not freaking out.  I read somewhere that reducing stress during the waiting to O part is more important than the TWW.  I don't know if it's true, but I have been trying to reduce my stress more.  Usually I do relaxing things during the TWW, but this time I am pampering myself now.  The other day I got a mani/pedi with extra massage.  It was nice.  It made me kind of sleepy.  I worked out yesterday and I am going to yoga tonight.  I am trying to stay active.  Sunday I'm going to bake some cookies for a bake sale and to bring to people at work.  I like to listen to loud music and sing when I bake so that will be fun.  How are you dakipode?

I can't remember who posted that they see the sperm waiting for the main act, the diva egg to show up. That's what I pictured when I read your post. The trigger is the big reveal!

I like your idea of pampering during waiting to O, maybe I should just pamper myself all the time, LOL!

I've always been active (not crazy Ironman training active) but in the past two months cut down on exercise, and the specialist agreed that it might be affecting my late O. So now I have some stress around "to work out or not work out"... And the irony is I do it because it keeps me happy and sane... This cycle, since I consider it the "eh, whatever" cycle I decided to just get back into my normal routine, i.e. work out 5-6 days a week, and we'll see what happens. If I start medication next cycle I'll probably cut down on exercise again.

Originally Posted by beingmommy 

I use to be super crafty and a bookworm but with my DS I don't get a lot of down time.  I'd love to learn how to make beaded jewelry.  I have a few books that I have never looked through.  I also want to start playing the guitar again (I am not very good and then haven't picked it up in years).  If this TTC journey takes much longer than expected I will definitely try to bring some music back into my life.  I have a b-day in October (my 40th - eeek!) and I think I am going to get a guitar.  So if there is still no BFP at least I will have that to distract me in future cycles.  Books, I may read the Harry Potter series again.  Fun and fast.

I actually am so sure nothing will happen this cycle I am not even particularly hopeful.  So maybe that is why I am calmer.  I won't be testing unless I am late with AF. 

I'm a bookworm too! I like lots of alone time and I wonder sometimes how I will do with someone who requires constant attention though at the same time I look forward to it.

I want to be a crafty person but never get around to it. I bought some clay over a year ago to try and make those tiny desert jewelry thingies, they're sooo cute, but now it's still sitting here. I think it's something I need to schedule. I don't feel as guilty about reading because you can read 10 minutes at a time, but crafts really require a couple of hours and I find it harder to justify to take that much time.

And regarding your testing comment: I bought a bag of 40 Wondfo's a while back and I think I've used 2, back in April... Now I don't test, I find I don't need it. I'll probably pass them onto someone after I get a success, that is if they haven't expired by then...

Originally Posted by jjclifton 

I think the ticking clock is the hardest thing for me right now.  I feel if I don't have a second child, I will always have a sadness in my life.  Or will I be ok?  I just don't know.

You describe exactly how I feel. Rationally I know life will be fine but emotionally it just throws me for a loop to think that I might never have a child (or in your case a second one).

Originally Posted by Xerxella 

Maybe, I'll start working on a doctorate in something. That's sure to make things happen.

A doctorate! YES, that's what I should be doing, obviously! I need to look into that!

[pokeyAC]

Originally Posted by Xerxella 

 As far as telling people, there's nothing wrong with telling people that ask about your fertility that it's not going as smoothly as you wished and we're considering different options and when/if we have any good news, we'll tell you ASAP. It's a nice way of telling people to quit asking.

Xerxella - I agree.  I tell people that when I have some news I will tell them.  That's my subtle way of saying I don't want to go into detail now but when I have good news, you will know. 

This cycle I am doing a letrozole (Femara is the brand name) and Menopur injections combo.  I took letrozole CD 3-7 and Menopur starting on day 5.  I used Clomid for 3 cycles in the past.  I responded well and didn't have any of the yucky side effects, but my lining did get progressively thinner.  I became pregnant on the 3rd cycle and had an early loss.  Then I tried letrozole by itself for one cycle.  Then we moved on to the pill/injectable combo.  This is our second time trying the combo.  We have been more aggressive partly because of my age and because sperm is so expensive. 

I'm so sorry for your losses.  I don't think the 6 months should have to start over for you.  At our age, we don't have much time to waste.  It's entirely possible to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy, but it's just a little harder sometimes.  You might just need a tiny boost and nothing more.  Maybe starting that doctorate will do the trick. 

jjclifton - My acupuncturist has a definite focus on fertility, but it is not her only specialty.  I found reviews on Yelp where people said she is the reason they have their baby now.  She is also a member of a regional fertility group for health practitioners. 

dakipode - I will try to incorporate the diva show into my visualizations. 

[TriciaW2012]

About Maya Abdominal Therapy: https://arvigotherapy.com/content/definition-and-history
They have a practitioner search on their website. I would look for one that's had additional training in Pregnancy treatment. They've learned additional specifics on how to help fertility. XO!

[beingmommy]

Originally Posted by pokeyAC 

 I'm proud of you for not POAS every five minutes.    Hang in there.

Hee!  This totally made me laugh!  I use to be so good at not testing early and then since we started trying for #2 I have had trouble.  Ug.  But doing better this time.  I really do want to wait and not waste tests. 

Jjclifton, oh that ticking clock!  Me too!  I turn 40 in 3 weeks.  I feel time running out.  And yet, I am also trying to be zen about it.  I now know of many women who have had healthy pregnancies well past 40.  I want to believe I can be one of them.  But it's hard to adjust my old vision on having all my kids before 40.

And I think a few people have already chimed in but for an acupuncturist, yes look for someone who specializes in fertility and pregnancy.  There are acupuncture points that are not good during pregnancy and you want to make sure the person really knows their stuff. 

And about the Maya Abdominal Massage.  It is suppose to help with all sorts of things increasing blood flow to the uterus, help with endometriosis, righting a tilted uterus.  And I think you usually get a self-care routine that teaches you how to keep up the massage yoursefl at home.  But you cannot do it in the 1st trimester or during your period.

Xerxella, thanks for the good wishes!  I would love if this were the cycle.  I just don't know anymore.  My intuition has gone right out the window since the m/c.  I guess because I went an entire month thinking it was fine.  An entire month!  How could I have not known at least somewhere deep down.  Anyway, I AM trying not to dwell on it.  And trying to be calm and let things be what they will be.

And hugs for you!  You have really been through the wringer lately.  I have my fingers super crossed for you (in as relaxed and zen a manner as possible).  I actually had a clear ovulation for the two cycles right after my D&C but we weren't TTC then.  Sort of wonder what would've happened if we had. 

Oh and I love that idea that if you plan a bunch of things you are sure to get pregnant.  Hee!  In the spring when I got pregnant I had just bought an expensive OPK for the coming cycle and I even thought, this is sure to MAKE me end up being pregnant now.

Dakipode, that is exactly my trouble with crafts.  I cannot find a good chunk of uninterrupted time.  Knitting I can usually do, though, I go on and off knitting.  But it is pretty easy to pick up and put down in some increments.  I am a huge introvert and I do find it challenging to be "on" all day with my DS.  I'm a stay-at-home mom and homeschooling and he's got autism.  BUT it's turning out okay.  It's been better recently as he is doing better and I am getting better about taking care of myself too.  It actually was much easier when he was an infant.  People talk so much about how hard the the newborn stage is but I found that a breeze.  It's toddlers and preschoolers and now this often indignant 5 yr old that I find challenging.

Okay, deep breaths.  Gratitude.  Hugs to all!

[Xerxella]

beingmommy and dakipode - Another bookworm here. But, mostly I just read fluff. You can easily lose yourself in a fluff book. Like a romance....

pokey - It's actually kinda funny that sperm is so expensive. I mean teenage boys are just letting the stuff fly all the time. :rofl

I gotta run. I should be able to edit this later.

[dakipode]

Xerxella, I got sucked into reading romance novels after Fifty Shades. I never knew there was so much out there and I'm having fun with reading fluff on my Nook, they're so cheap, these little books... I'd be happy to exchange notes on the ones I liked, it does seem a bit of a challenge to find halfway decent ones.

How's everyone else doing this weekend?

I was pleasantly surprised by O yesterday. I expected it to be delayed till at least CD 28 or so, since I stopped taking the vitex, but here I am, starting on TWW and I have made no plans or to do list...

[JustJenny]

Dakipode - I ovulated yesterday too. So we'll be in the tww together this cycle 

[jjclifton]

I don't know what TWW is, but I ovulated today.  Maybe it's the moon...

[Xerxella]

TWW is the 2 week wait. The time you have to wait after ovulation for a positive test or for your period. (Period or Aunt Flo or AF)

I think I'm gearing up for O. But, I doubt anything will be successful because its the first cycle after my d&c.

[beingmommy]

Xerxella, I don't read straight up romances as much but I think the heart of ANY good story is a love story so I am always looking for the romance in everything.  :)  And I do prefer escapist stuff. Sci-fi/fantasy mostly.  I have my fingers crossed for you this cycle.

Dakipode, jjclifton, JustJenny, yay for Os!  Fingers crossed for all of you too.

[jjclifton]

Thanks Xerxella.  Sad about the d&c.  I was just there a few months ago.  Don't know if I could go there again.  

[kitteh]

Thanks to dakipode for inviting me to come check out this thread. It seems like the perfect place for me.

I tend to be a planner, to put it mildly. Some might even call me a neurotic control-freak, lol. I definitely have trouble letting go and trusting in the universe, even though in retrospect my life is full of serendipitous moments, many of which seemed like OMG THE END OF THE WORLD! at the time but then in hindsight ended up being more perfectly timed than I could have ever imagined. I am learning to have more faith in the Universe (or God, or whatever you want to call it) but this whole TTC thing has brought me back to the dark side, and we're only been trying for a month or two! So I definitely need to find balance now before I get myself dug in too deeply.

I have a lot more to say about this, but I'm just subbing now because I have to go make dinner. I'll be back, though!

[dakipode]

Welcome kitteh! I hope you find some peace of mind here.

[Xerxella]

dakipode - I wanted to give you the authors I currently like. For pure silly romance with funny parts, anything Julie Garwood is wonderful. I don't like her new modern fiction so much, but LOVED her historical fiction. I'm currently reading Pamela Clare McKinnon Rangers Series. But, it seems the first one "Surrender" was the best. (Doesn't it always work like that?) I actually haven't read Fifty Shades of Grey. I don't usually read anything popular. I don't want to think as I read, I just want to lose myself in the novel and not try to search for any deeper meaning. I loved the Harry Potter Series!

beingmommy - Have you discovered the paranormal romances? Fun stuff. I'm a fan of the "Sentinel Wars" series' by Shannon Butcher.

jjclifton - I hope none of us has to go through a D&C ever again.....

Hi kitteh!

to everyone

AFM - I think I really did O. That's good, at least it means I'll get a period in a couple of weeks and be able to start trying "for real."