A Saner TTC: Harvest Moon - Page 3

[GISDiva]

I've been lurking for a while, but a thought occurred to me this morning and then reminded me of this thread.  I had really been feeling like we timed it well this month and I had sore boobs like *crazy*, which is not normal PMS for me, so I was very, very hopeful because of that and some other things I had been feeling.  This morning I woke up and all of it just went away, like that.  BFN, no symptoms, just...nothing.  So I was feeling pretty sorry for myself as I came downstairs, resigning myself to waiting for AF and doing it all over again...

And then my son said something that made me laugh so very hard and I thought well, let's focus on what I do have, because it's pretty darn good.

And then I thought of this thread.  :)  I will say, TTC subsequent children just doesn't leave as much time to be sad...

Good luck to you all this week, wherever you may be.  

[happy2bamama]

Originally Posted by GISDiva 
I will say, TTC subsequent children just doesn't leave as much time to be sad...

 I am so with you on this!

[beingmommy]

Hi Kitteh, welcome and TTC brings me to the dark side too!  So glad I found this thread because it is helping me immensely.  Hope it help you too.

Hugs, jjclifton.  I hope we none of us have to go through D&Cs again either.

Oh paranormal romances!  Xerxella you have got it!  I will have to check out that series.  And I do read a lot of YA sci-fi/fantasy/paranormal stuff which has tons of romance because it's YA.    Fingers crossed for your trying for real soon!

GISdiva, you are so right.  I am trying to remember all the good things I have too.

Hi Happy2bamama and Dakipode and everyone else!

AFM: Doing pretty well.  Still obsessing slightly in the back of my mind.  Like I know I have one week down and a little over one week left before AF will come or not come.  Again, I am feeling very certain I did not ovulate and so pretty sure there is no chance but the closer I get to the possibility of knowing for sure the less sage I get.  I actually think this time I am okay with the TWW because I can pretend it's possible until then, while once AF comes I'll know it isn't and be sad.  ANYWAY, this thread is so great because it is helping me think of other things. 

One thing I think I am going to do is get out a bunch of my favorite happy-wholesome-always-put-me-in-a-good-mood movies/tv shows and watch them.  I am thinking Gilmore GIrls, Anne of Green Gables, When Harry Met Sally type stuff.  Hee!

AND listen to music that makes me happy too.  I have a happy playlist just for that.

Edited by beingmommy - 9/24/12 at 6:11pm

[dakipode]

Oooh, beingmommy, I would love some recommendations for YA novels. I like to read simple stuff before going to sleep. And I totally get the "obsessing slightly in the back of my mind"! I do it too. For most of the day I'm ok but every now and then I think: hmm, what if?

GISDiva:

Xerxella, I will check out your recommendations, thanks!

Everyone else: hope you're doing well and staying sane!

[Xerxella]

Gisdiva - yep to that. I'm still sorry for the bfn.

Beingmommy - I'm always obsessing a little in the back of my head. I guess I should know, but what's a ya novel?

[beingmommy]

Xerxella, hee hee, YA=Young Adult.  I tend to read tons of novels for teens, though only the sci-fi/fantasy/paranormal ones.  So fun!  They are full of angst and romance but also, at least the more escapist ones I read, more hope than a lot of "grown-up" books.  Now the more contemporary teen novels I think can be depressing and dark. 

Dakipode, ooooo, recs!  Okay, these are my most recent reads. I don't make enough time for reading.  Posting these make me realize that I really want to!  AND it will help me distract myself.

The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins  http://www.amazon.com/The-Hunger-Games-Book-1/dp/0439023521/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348586626&sr=8-1&keywords=the+hunger+games

Matched by Ally Condie (first in a trilogy, the 3rd isn't out yet) http://www.amazon.com/Matched-Ally-Condie/dp/014241977X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1348586668&sr=1-1&keywords=matched

Eyes Like Stars by Lisa Mantchev (another first in trilogy - they are all good!) http://www.amazon.com/Eyes-Like-Stars-Lisa-Mantchev/dp/0312608667/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1348586688&sr=1-1&keywords=eyes+like+stars

Graceling by Kristin Cashmore (I actually haven't read it yet but it's in my pile and I have heard great things about it - it's also the first in a series) http://www.amazon.com/Graceling-Kristin-Cashore/dp/0547258305/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1348586749&sr=1-1&keywords=graceling

The Goose GIrl by Shannon Hale (not a series but there are more stand alones in the same world as this one - really liked it)  http://www.amazon.com/Goose-Girl-Books-Bayern/dp/1582349908/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1348586828&sr=1-1&keywords=the+goose+girl

Uglies by Scott Westerfeld (first in a series of four - Not the best books ever but fast, entertaining reads) http://www.amazon.com/Uglies-Scott-Westerfeld/dp/1442419814/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1348586886&sr=1-1&keywords=uglies

[pokeyAC]

GISDiva - Welcome!  I'm sorry for your disappointment but glad some joy quickly followed.

Great book recommendations everyone!  I am normally a non-fiction reader, but real life has been too much for me lately so I've been reading fiction.  I also enjoy YA sci-fi type stuff.  I just finished the first 3 Twilight novels, and now I am reading The Host also by Stephanie Meyer.  I think this book may be for regular adults though.  I also enjoyed the Sookie Stackhouse books by Charlaine Harris (What True Blood is based on).  These are much more graphic than any YA novels for sure.  I also recommend Divergent.  The first two books are very good and the third one is not out yet.  It sounds rather similar to Matched as mentioned up above.

AFM - I have officially entered the TWW again.  I feel fine now.  The waiting to O part is usually most stressful for me.  I got a false positive OPK, and it was super stressful for both of us.  But everything worked out fine, and I feel really good about it.  I don't usually get anxious until towards the end of the TWW, but I try to do things to relax and relieve some tension.  I took the day off work yesterday, and that was really great.  I hadn't been sleeping well, but it's been better the last two nights.  Yesterday, I listened to my meditation and took a nap and then went to my singing class.  I got things done and didn't feel rushed about getting back to work.  I might schedule a haircut for soon as my TWW treat.  I was also thinking about getting a blowout.  I love having my hair done, and that might be an inexpensive way to be pampered and chill out.

[jjclifton]

What do you all think is most effective?  Trying before or after O shows positive on a OPK?  I have always tried before.  This month since the O was positive, my husband has been under stress and we weren't able to try again, so I feel like it's another wasted month.  I know the stuff can hang out for days, but I feel to be most effective it would be good to try at least once after the positive.  Trying again to look at the good side, if I get a BFN this month, I get to go party with a friend in Portland for a weekend.  Hating the TWW more now than ever.

On another positive, I am starting to feel more like a person than I had been.  I've been in the "I'll be pregnant soon" mindframe for about 2 years now, and I am putting that behind me.  I am taking classes, going out more and stopping the hold pattern I've been in.

[pokeyAC]

Since an OPK tells you you will ovulate within 24-36 hours after the positive, I would try after because you haven't ovulated yet.

[dakipode]

beingmommy, I enjoyed the Hunger Games trilogy very much. I'll have to check out the other ones. Definitely looking for cheap though so I may have to get them through the library. I was hesitant to get an e-reader, thought it wouldn't give the same reading experience (feeling the weight of the book, turning the page, seeing how far in you are etc.) and now I find that I actually prefer it for novels/light reading. The built-in light is fantastic, I like to read in bed and this way I can turn off the bedside lamp and DH can go to sleep!

PokeyAC, I thought the fourth Twilight novel was the icing on the cake, the guilty pleasure, I found the third one somewhat bleh so definitely don't skip the last one! Never read Sookie Stackhouse, but enjoyed the first season of True Blood. Do you find the novels better than the TV series? Yay for haircuts during TWW! Sounds like you had a nice relaxing day!

jjclifton, I agree with PokeyAC that you should have a good shag after OPK + as well. As for the "I'll be pregnant soon" mindset, I can completely relate. I feel like I've put my life on hold thinking that, thinking I should be saving money, not plan any travel etc. and that's draining too.

AFM: I completely forgot about TWW earlier today when I was at Starbucks and I was debating whether to get tea or coffee. I decided on tea because I've been feeling dehydrated. It didn't dawn on me till an hour later that I should avoid coffee anyway... I also got new pointe shoes, a nice $100 expense/treat, in the spirit of not putting things on hold because I might be pregnant soon.

So far I would say that my strategy for this TWW seems to be to keep distracting myself with miscellaneous stuff, as opposed to previous TWWs where the emphasis was on "staying zen". In a sense that brought its own level of TWW stress: "Must focus on avoiding thinking about pregnancy!"

[jjclifton]

Thank you pokeyAC and dakipode.   I agree, that is what logic tells me, but this whole timing thing seems so illusive. 

[JustJenny]

Originally Posted by jjclifton 

On another positive, I am starting to feel more like a person than I had been.  I've been in the "I'll be pregnant soon" mindframe for about 2 years now, and I am putting that behind me.  I am taking classes, going out more and stopping the hold pattern I've been in.

  Thats so awesome jjclifton.  I'm trying to move myself into that mind frame as well.  It is a crazy energy drain for sure. Saps the curious and sponateous parts of my personality right out of me. I hate routine, and I've somehow got myself into a super boring one full of anxiety! This tww I'm distracting myself with work. Took on a new project that needs my full attention.

[happy2bamama]

Originally Posted by jjclifton 

On another positive, I am starting to feel more like a person than I had been.  I've been in the "I'll be pregnant soon" mindframe for about 2 years now, and I am putting that behind me.  I am taking classes, going out more and stopping the hold pattern I've been in.

I love this too and have found myself there as well. Good for you JJ :)

AFM: I am going to O soon - it seems like it's coming earlier this month. Something that has really hit me lately is this realization that I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do to get pregnant (aside from the obvious). And after saying it out loud - "I don't know what to do" - I have felt more calm about the whole thing. Instead of making sure I'm doing this or that, I am just doing whatever feels right in the moment because, the truth is, I don't know what to do. Use OPK's, not use OPK's, take Vitamin B, not take Vitamin B, exercise, not exercise, acupuncture, not acupuncture, BD 1 day after +OPK or 2 days after, and on and on. There is a big part of me that wants to climb right up into my uterus and fallopian tubes and take an assessment and then take that information and fix whatever's not working. But for some reason, admitting that I don't know what to do has really taken the pressure off of me and allowed me to have the freedom to do whatever I want, not what I *should* be doing. When TTC crosses my mind, I find myself saying my mantra and then whatever the thought was dissipates. Like usual, it will be interesting to see how this holds up in the TWW! But for now, I'm happy to know that I don't know :)

[kitteh]

I think that is a great perspective. I'm thinking of coming up with a similar mantra to repeat to myself when I start obsessing.

[jjclifton]

Originally posted by happy2bamama 
Instead of making sure I'm doing this or that, I am just doing whatever feels right in the moment because, the truth is, I don't know what to do. Use OPK's, not use OPK's, take Vitamin B, not take Vitamin B, exercise, not exercise, acupuncture, not acupuncture, BD 1 day after +OPK or 2 days after, and on and on. 

It's hard to think that we have to do so much thinking now.  When I had my DD, I spent 4 days in Vegas drinking (and doing other things) around the clock, and two days after I came home I felt more tired than I ever had in my life.  Turns out, I was pregnant.  I did no planning, and didn't even know I was in the window.  If I knew a good weekend in Vegas would do the trick, I'd be there right now.

[beingmommy]

PokeyAC, I have heard really good things about Divergent!  I have it in my to-read pile too.  Yay for feeling fine in your TWW.  Fingers crossed for you.  And I just love how much you are taking care of yourself.

Jjclifton, I have never done OPKs before so I am glad oyu have already gotten good advice about those.  I may try them next month since I cannot figure out my O time anymore.  And I also like your new mindset to not put yourself in a holding pattern. 

Happy2bamama, I need some of that sage energy!  I definitely let myself get too caught up in all the ways to do things "right" when I really have no idea or much control over the outcome anyway.  I am going to practice this being okay with not knowing too.

Hi JustJenny, Kitteh, Dakipode, Xerxella and everyone else!

AFM: Still over a week to go before I will be past the latest possible AF date for me (October 5th is CD 31 and I rarely go past CD30).  I am determined not to test unless I get to Oct 5th with no AF.  I DID start to feel the urge to test creeping up on me and I sat back, took a deep breath, and tried to think about it rationally.  I only want to test because I am hoping it might be positive.  And if it is negative I will feel super sad and defeated AND THEN go right back to hoping because it's still so early for testing.  It will make the sadness of a negative so much more because I will go through it multiple times.  That way madness lies, I know this.  And so I feel better now.  Still anxious a bit, but resolute NOT to test. 

I am also making some plans to start doing some crafty things.  Great distraction!  I think I am going to get to work on making stuffed animal patterns to sell to crafty people.  I am hoping it could also be a way to earn a little extra cash for some of DS medical expenses.  We have a lot of out-of-pocket expenses with him because we do lots of alternative things (osteopathy, homeopathy, etc . . ).  I want him to keep doing as well as he is and with all these gentle, non-invasive things. 

It's a good thing really, focusing on doing something creative for my soul AND also on the beautiful child I already have instead of getting obsessed with the idea of another.

[dakipode]

jjclifton: LOL! A weekend in Vegas sounds like something we all could use!

beingmommy: good for you for resisting! I know exactly what you mean with still hoping even though it's an early BFN. After April I decided I just wasn't going to test anymore unless I was "late" to save myself from having to go through that false hope. The craft idea sounds like a wonderful way to acknowledge the present, who you are and what you've got.

happy2be: sounds like you're in a good place. Sometimes I try replacing "should" with "could". I tend to get so caught up in doing the right thing and analyzing the options, which seems similar to what you were doing. The word "could" has so much less value judgment attached to it.

Hope everyone else is doing well and staying sane! I'm picking out my next book to download...

[amlikam]

I love this IDEA! Wow! I hold New Moon Circles in my community (Red Tents to be exact) and so the idea of really taking time to spiral in and out sounds lovely. I have been full of visions for stories and writing, so I will harness some of this "extra" energy to transfering thought to word, some alchemy magik of sorts I guess

Mainly lurking for now, I want to go back and get to know the feel of you women. Good luck on your journeys, I hope they bring more light to your life. <3

[Lidamama84]

Ok, so my staying sane tactic is handmade Xmas presents. Because I'm poor paying for 2 kids in daycare, and because I want to stay busy dring this waiting period before TTCing, and because I think handmade gifts have so much value! So far, I've mostly crocheted a sock for DD1...lots to do, lol!

[beingmommy]

Originally Posted by Lidamama84 

Ok, so my staying sane tactic is handmade Xmas presents.

Oh I l LOVE this idea!  I am totally going to do this too!