Mothers who skip the paci - Page 2

[CatsMom129]

Just agreeing with all the PPs here. My dd never had much interest in the pacifier, so I didn't use it. Do what works for you. If your aunts think it's weird, that just means that your experience is different from theirs. We have a lot more breastfeeding info now than in previous generations, and they may not be up on it. They might not realize how much healthier the breast milk is, how it provides nutrition and immunological benefits, as well as mommy snuggle time -- none of which pacifiers provide. And yes, as babies get older, especially when they start solids, they will gradually nurse less. (Unless they're having a growth spurt, or fighting off germs, or just need more mommy time. There's an ebb and flow there.) They don't nurse 24/7 forever.

I had a hard time learning the baby-wearing stuff. If you're in the same boat, you might want to check out any baby-wearing groups in your area. You can check online or ask around at La Leche League or any attachment parenting groups you're a part of. I think Dr. Sears' Baby Book has some info, and I've heard good things about the Tummy 2 Tummy video. You might need to experiment and practice a while before you get the hang of it. Good luck!

[margherman]

Wise comments from all the moms who responded!

I have just one observation to add, which is how many times you see a mom or other caretaker automatically insert the rubber-and-plastic device into a baby's mouth without any prompt from the baby. In fact, the adult keeps pushing it back in the baby's mouth. It becomes a kind of plug, like the one Maggie on The Simpsons uses. Pacifiers can be useful for fussy babies who -- for one reason or another -- cannot be soothed at the breast. For a baby who seems to be content, what's the point? The pacifier is for the benefit of the adult, I guess. 

[angelarose1]

My first baby wouldn't take a paci at all, he nursed for extended amounts of time and still loves to nurse as much as I will allow. My youngest is 4 months and seems to prefer the pacified when comfort nursing, I have a strong letdown and it seems to annoy her when she isn't hungry. Every baby is different, I had to let go of my ideals and just go with the flow:)

[rebbecky]

I see you have received a lot of feedback, but I will still share my experience. I used a pacifier in the beginning, but now wish that I had not. I only say this because I would have had more chances to nurse my baby (he is now 6 months old). I made the mistake for a little while of using the pacifier when he probably wanted to eat, b/c a PA told me (when he was about 3 months old) that he was just using me as a pacifier and that if I new he'd eaten already to not give him my breast (use the paci instead). Fortunately, he seemed to give it up not long after that, but I think it was because I'd really started nursing him on demand at that point and stopped watching the clock and started watching him.

I agree with the other moms about baby wearing. I did this as well and it can help you get some things done, but also keep in mind that the house work will always be there...your LO will not always be 2 months old! This thread brought to mind the poem:

"Babies Don't Keep"

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow,

For babies grow up, I've learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.

I'm nursing my baby, and babies don't keep.

Adapted form "Song for a Fifth Child, " by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

[Katica]

We have three kids, the youngest is 3 months old. Never used a paci, had one just in case, but after a day or too they spat it out. Mommy is much better, you know? No need for them, just wear your little girl and she`ll be happy as can be.

[tanyato]

I'm finding all the accounts of babies spitting out pacifiers really funny - my 10 month old has always looked at us like we're nuts whenever we've but one his mouth. Like "is this a joke?". He chews on it for a bit then spits it out.

So, sometimes babies won't even take one! If you're ever getting hassled and don't feel like explaining your views about paccis, you could always brush off the comments with something like "meh, she's not that into it" and then change the topic.

I will say, I am soooo glad 'i was his pacifier' for the first 6 months... In honesty though, some nights NOW I wish he'd take one.

[lillymonster]

My 2 kids never took a pacifier, my sisters 4 kids never took one (we both had projectiles when we attempted) It was funny watching my mom hold the pacifier in the mouth for 10 minutes (she was determined they needed one), and some would comply during the time and some would actually scream at her. But once her hand was removed, it became a projectile by the mouth. And she would say "I have never seen a baby not take a pacifier" and I would say "um so far you have seen 6, so I am not sure what you are talking about"  The other 4 grandkids did take them and I know they had them a long long time, it was hard to break them off it.

babywear, carry, but just say she doesn't want one. And only allow them to hold the pacifier in the mouth if you want a good laugh. Babies are only babies for a year. (or sooner when they start walking at 9 months!) Stuff can wait for a year.
 

[MichelleZB]

Originally Posted by katieesther 
 I wasn't having any doubts about Aurora using me as a pacifier until yesterday when I had several of my Aunts telling me that she was just using me as a pacifier and how do I get anything done?

This sort of a amuses me! Apparently, according to your aunts, the only thing between you and untold hours of free time is a little plastic sucker. Ha... no.

Also, by "get anything done" they mean chores, right? Laundry, dishes. That's what everyone means when they say "getting things done." WHY ON EARTH would you want to find a replacement for nursing your child only to have the pleasure of doing the dishes? Doing the dishes sucks.

I get lots of things done while nursing, including but not limited to: bonding with my child, feeding him, reading a book, napping, drinking tea, and surfing the internet one-handed. I make other people do my dishes because I'm nursing. What? Your aunts didn't have a husband who did the dishes? How did they get anything DONE?

[Hymanroth]

My son is 13 months and still bf on demand and has never had a pacifier. I just knew he wouldn't go for plastic when he has the real thing anytime hed like.

How do I get things done? Wear him in a sling or ssc. And when he began crawling I made sure everything was baby proof and than I set up low shelves as per Montessori guidelines and toys that will keep his attention and interesting things to touch and explore available.

My mom and a nurse told me that I am just lettin him use me as a pacifier. Well guess what? Turns out that he was regulating how much milk he needs. And I was never bothered once.

My mom also complained until she was blue in the face that I need baby gates to contain him. He would be miserable and I would have to follow his every move to make sure he was safe out of the gates. He can go explore while I do anything and when he's done he comes to me to be worn on my chest.

[Clarasmama]

My DD is 18 months, still nursing, and never would take a pacifier.  She was always breastfed on demand (or "cue" which is a little nicer sounding), because I knew how important it was from the very first day to nurse, nurse, nurse to establish my supply!  I didn't even attempt the paci until a couple of months in, and I can't remember why I did anymore at all, but she would just chew on it and spit it out.  Maybe sucked on it a total of 5 times ever, before then chewing it again and spitting it out.  Oh, I remember now...she was a really fussy baby, and we'd heard about it being used as a temporary way to help soothe a screaming baby, as in it should help calm them down so you can take it back out.  Didn't work :)

With new DS due in January it'll be the same.  No pacifiers, bottles, anything except breast to establish supply (shouldn't be hard with DD still nursing!) and to get him latching on really well for the first couple of months, then we'll see how his temperment is.  I know some 100% breastfed and constantly worn babies that still need a paci, so it's not like it never happens.

I shake my head at the "human pacifier" comment too...you're the mother, the one and only source of comfort that tiny being has known since conception...I'd much rather be the source of comfort to my baby than a piece of plastic.  Same goes when they're older...things should never replace people.

[ESR76]

My daughter was introduced to the binky at around 2 weeks because I couldn't handle being the "human paci". Probably going to get flamed for admitting that, but it is what it is. She was never crazy about it, and she gave it up, voluntarily, before she was a year old. My son had a paci from birth, adored it, and gave it up, also voluntarily, just after he turned three. I wore both of my kids, they were great nursers, all the paci did was make it possible for me to put them down or hand them off when I needed a few minutes to myself, to eat or pee or just to breathe. If you don't feel that the pacifier is right for your child, then that's great, but you also don't need to feel bad if you decide that it's a necessary tool for helping you retain your sanity. Because that's just what it is, a tool, nothing more, nothing less.

[fruitsoflabor]

I have my third baby now and she is 11 months old. It is very normal to hangout with mom under the shirt most always in early stage of infancy.  I have invested in different baby carriers so I have a free hand for my other 2yrs old and 6 yrs old.  However I always make sure she gets time for play and or observing the world around her.  Now that she is busy discovering and walking everywhere she only comes to soothe in my breast when she is hurt or need to wind down for sleeping, but ofcourse she is still breastfed when she is hungry.  Now the pacifier has never been abused in our house. I do have it.  When I have the luxury to sleep with my baby then I just let her drink me to fall asleep. She usually just let go to find her comfy spot but if I have to get up and do other things she awakens, so the pacifier becomes her comfort .  She falls asleep with it, then few minutes I would find that it is out of her mouth or if not I just remove it from her. Now I remember in the early stage of her infancy there were a lot of crying and no I do not use the paci to quiet her down. I breast fed or if I really can't that moment such us walking my daughter to school while she is being pushed by the stroller or in the car I just let her cry.  She would calm down after a few minutes because the surrounding is stimulating . In the car I would play a classical music to calm her down. Pacifier is a standby just in case other things fail but other wise I use other methods and absolute patience before the most tempting pacifier. 

[AmandaT]

Originally Posted by ESR76 

My daughter was introduced to the binky at around 2 weeks because I couldn't handle being the "human paci". Probably going to get flamed for admitting that, but it is what it is.... all the paci did was make it possible for me to put them down or hand them off when I needed a few minutes to myself, to eat or pee or just to breathe. 

Although I never used a paci, I don't think there is anything wrong with this! Nobody's family, or baby, is the same so different things work for different people! 

[Sol_y_Paz]

Some kids just won't take paci's - regardless if you BF or formula feed and regardless of when you try to introduce it.  

For some views on comfort sucking:

http://forums.llli.org/showthread.php?112069-Think-your-baby-is-nursing-too-much-Read-this!

http://kellymom.com/bf/normal/comfortnursing/

 

http://www.todaysparent.com/baby/breastfeeding/nursing-comfort?page=0,0

 

http://thefunnyshapedwoman.blogspot.com/2011/01/breasts-feeling-full-good-thing-myth.html

[howeberry]

One BIG advantage of never introducing a pacifier is never having to wean your LO off it! Same for bottles.

My DS is almost 2 yo and never took a binky or bottle, just went straight to cups, and still nurses several times a day. That said, it does get a little trying at times, especially when I'm touched out and all he wants is "p'ease, milk!"

[katieesther]

Thanks a lot ladies!  I don't know why but being questioned makes me doubt myself    Something I will definitely need to work on since I'm sure it never quite stops being a parent. But I do enjoy the cuddle time so much and knowing that its not going to last forever makes all those dirty dishes worth it :P And yes MichelleZB housework does suck, so this really shouldn't be a downer for me :D  Thanks Sol_y_Paz for those links.  And thanks again everyone!

[Choose2Reuse]

I never used a pacifier with my DD (now almost 13 months old).  She had a lot of dietary sensitivities that made her super colicky and clingy when she was little, and yeah, there were days when I was a human pacifier.  But I did stuff when she was napping, and I wore her some (it's kind of hard to do a whole lot wearing a baby, but you can at least do the essentials).  I'm glad I didn't give her a paci!

My advice would be to get a ring sling--wish I'd had one when she was tiny (got it when she was 4 months old and boy was it a huge help.  She wouldn't sit in the Ergo around the house, only on walks, and I hated the Moby wrap).  And give yourself time.  My DD nursed like crazy for a long time, but after about 2-3 months it was a reasonable amount of crazy, and after she hit maybe 8-9 months she was down to 8ish times a day (unless she had a clingy day), plus a few times at night.  And everyone in my family agrees that DD is super intense and much more interested in nursing than your average baby (and didn't eat solids much till she was 11 months old).  So you will probably stop being quite so much of a pacifier very soon!
 

[Tammy920]

Hi all! Having 4 kids, 11,9,6,4, the 2 oldest used a binkie until around 2ish, the 3rd  for 1 year and I took her off. I wish I would have let her decide when she didn't want it, :( She was really difficult in may ways after that, it is soothing after all and sucking is natural--- my 3rd, a boy (only boy) was introduced to it, but never wanted it. I think it is a good thing for calming and sleeping. Experience ;)

BTW I look forward to reading more and getting to know everyone.

-Tamm

[Tammy920]

One more comment---I breast fed my 2 oldest--- bottle fed my 2 youngest--- not sure a bink is a replacing a breast--- Isn't that a bottle? lol

[elus0814]

We have five kids. No pacifiers and no bottles have been given to any of them with the exception of one who was eight weeks early and needed bottles of expressed milk while I was away at night or home with our older one. It just seems weird and unnatural for a baby to have a piece of plastic in their mouth. 

I'm not comfortable being a 'human pacifier' past the first few weeks. I find it both uncomfortable as well as mentally draining. I also am not comfortable walking around doing chores while nursing (I can't easily with a large chest anyway). Nursing is my time to sit still and bond with the baby, I don't think a baby older than a month or so old needs to be nursing constantly anyway. When they're little I sometimes hold them while doing chores, put them in a swing (some of our kids liked swings, some didn't), let the older kids hold or play with the baby, wait until someone else is home, put the baby in a carrier but not nurse, have a teenager come in to play with the baby and keep track of the older kids while I get things done, or hire a maid when my husband is away. When they're older they can play on the floor or sit in a little baby sized rocking chair seat we have or one of the above options applies.