I think this should be a funny collection of anecdotes. As a lesbian, the reactions I get may be different from most of you, but here are some good examples.
"Are you going to have sex with a man?" --No. The lesbian thing and being married automatically rule that out.
"Are you doing IVF"? -- No. All I need is some help getting the sperm where it needs to go.
"Are you going to adopt"? -- No. I am a woman, and my uterus was not turned off when I came out.
What funny things have you been told?