we are exploring similar things with a 21m old that is clearly a very emotional little guy, his seem to center on frustrations and disappointments.
two expamles for us would be him being told no, specially when it is something he already knew he as not suposed to do/touch.
and his internal disapopintment for not being able to do some skill yet, putitng blcoks together for instance.
he expresses this all by usually banging his head and being super dramatic.
we have been working on ignoring the dramatic and verbalizing what we feel may be his frustration with empathy. "i know you wanted to touch that, its hard when we cant do everything we want" but also gently and firmly showing him that banging his head or biting is not an ok behavior regardless of the motivation.
i struggle with that last part, im torn between not wanting to say anything, because it does feel like devalidating his feeling to say "no" to him banging his head down, but on the other side i do think he needs to be shown that there is ok and not ok ways to express frustrations. so maybe a quick firm non angry no, do just break the cycle and get his attention so that i can empathize and redirect is a good think.
its a bit of a rock and hard place, so i feel your pain Lulu
shanesmom, we do not promote spanking on mothering.com if you would like to read a bit more on that (and i suggest and everyone does) here is the MDC user agreement.
The Mothering community stands strongly against pro-spanking advocacy, abortion debate, and harsh sleep training, including “crying it out”. Please keep this in mind when you post. ............"
I would strongly argue that it is not the goal to "Train our children to not act on their emotions." but rather to teach them to find proper ways to express and yes even act on the emotions they are feeling. he are humans and will always have emotions, not having good tools to express them leads to distractive pent up behavior.