DS will be 3 this weekend. Our IEP meeting is Thursday. We finished assessments this morning, and I finally got to talk to someone from his therapist's office who said that their experience with our insurance company indicated we should get coverage for just about anything we asked for (obviously within reason).
He has been in 25 hrs/week of ABA since January. He has made great strides in communication, where he can actually answer a simple question now (it was a constant echoing babble before). He is high functioning, echolallic and incredibly intelligent. He has no motor delays, no speech delays (beyond the echolallia), nothing else going on. He does have pretty severe separation anxiety. He can and will upset himself (screaming and crying) to the point of vomiting when he is "abandoned" by us both. When his therapists started with us back in January (2 shifts, 5 days/week), he screamed for several minutes upon their arrival - every day, twice a day - for 2 months. And then one day he didn't scream, and instead he asked for a hug (and this is with me in the house the whole time, often even in the room).
Transitions are nightmares, leading to extended screaming fits, full blown tantrums. Something as simple as "let's use the potty" can get drawn out to a 10 minute screaming fit if he doesn't want to. He is easily overwhelmed by lots of people, loud noises and chaos. He doesn't comprehend concepts as basic as "first, then", yet he taught himself to read before he turned 2. When a friend watches him, he spends a good chunk of the day hiding in her bedroom in a corner under a blanket (at home it's the corner of the sectional under a blanket), rather than playing with her girls (2 and 4 yo). He is obsessed with sticks (pencils, straws, twist ties, pipe cleaners are all "sticks") and the iPad. Most other obsessions wax and wane. Food is a fairly typical toddler pickiness - there are some things he won't eat, some things he'll eat when he feels like it and some things he'll eat anytime. He finally figured out drinking from a cup, but he won't drink water at all and milk he will only drink out of a (baby) bottle. He mostly drinks watered pineapple juice, but sometime it's apple or grape instead, out of a straw cup (no valve).
As far as ABA is concerned, right now he's exceeded virtually every target they've set him. We have spent the last several months racking our brains during our weekly team meetings to find new goals for him to work towards. And every week we have to do it again. He masters most skills in just a few days (except for writing, he doesn't have the motor control for that one yet). He's even PLed - it took months, but he got there.
So my question to you is... what do we ask for? If I'm shooting for the moon, what are my options? I have no idea what's out there. What do I ask the school system for? What do I ask the insurance company for? In class, at home, materials, therapists, anything. What's a reasonable request and what's a pipe dream?