Tips for Enjoying an Intense 5 Year Old

[justthinkn]

Hi, I don't post here often, but I could really use some perspectives on 5 year olds! If crazy stories and how you handled them are immediately jumping to mind, that's what I'm looking for!

DD5 is accelerated academically some (homeschooled),I don't have anything quantified. She's young 5, reading really well with amazing comprehension and expression as long as text/font is big enough Doing math at 1st grade level (fun, conceptual, CSMP if you're familiar with it) , seeming not bored but not particularly challenged, as long as I do the scribing. I'm going more on her imagination, creativity, ability to make connections, things that fascinate her - and yeah, a little bit the reactions of others and my/my husband's experiences as kids - when I think the inside of her head must be an interesting place.

In fact, she wears me out! Today she wanted to spend hours and hours acting out a Narnian battle, with children in armies, and of course, I never really do it the way she wants. After a short quiet time, I was able to re-direct her to dictating a story she could illustrate, all about the treacherous Tisroc, may he live forever... She is just so intense in how many ideas she has and what she needs from me to play them out and talk them through. There will never be enough reading to her, enough craft supplies, enough anything. And I deal with that, set the limits as I have to, but wow, it gets tiring!

And yet, that's not actually the worst part! The worst part, and I'm sure this is somewhat normal 5, is that she doesn't always talk with me first anymore! Since she's turned 5, I really feel like she has regressed to toddlerhood in some ways. Like she has all these ideas, and I can no longer trust her not to act on them, ask me first. She's always been pretty reasonable. Now it's scream first, ask questions later. Or experiment with rubbing soap all over her dry hair first, ask questions later. Definitely lie about it when asked, admit the truth later! In between all of these things of course, she's amazing, loving, funny.

Any tips or words of insight, how to deal, maybe let go a little and enjoy, or re-direct some of the intensity and neediness? I should probably also add, she does have a just-turned- one brother. I feel like she gets a lot of my attention at this stage, and he comes along for the ride, with pauses when he definitely needs priority, like help getting asleep. She does really well with him overall, but maybe this is some kind of delayed sibling reaction??

[Tigerle]

sounds like our house. DS is enjoying his new-found independence, too...sometimes by just withdrawing into a room and reading a book, but sometimes by taking out kitchen supplies and starting messy experiments he's read about in said book, without my noticing in time, or by going out on the sidewalk to play without asking, leaving the door open so DD follows, then disappearing round the corner without asking (all strictly forbidden, of course). I just clean up, yell as appropriate and tell myself "it's a phase, it's a phase" - soon they will be able to be a bit more thoughtful and use some common sense before heading into a project.

#3 is coming along soon - we definitely had a major behavioural reaction to #2 so I am kind of holding my breath, but hoping that having just started formal school (1st grade where I live) will use up some of that energy.

[justthinkn]

Thanks for the perspective, Tigerle - I probably just need to breathe as well!

[jmpierce2005]

Hello,

I don't have any brilliant ideas other than to say we have some similar struggles at our house.  My son just turned 6 and the constant need for projects and stimulation has gotten a teeny tiny bit better.  Mostly because he can read so proficiently now that he can do more of that independently.  And the books have gotten longer and take more time.  BUT - the rest we still struggle with.  Playing with siblings and neighbor kids helps.  We have a group of mixed age neighbor kids that range in age from about 5-11.  Playing with them gives me a break.