So confused! Baby gear - what do I really need? « Back to Group Discussions

[JessNP]

I am so confused! I am hoping some more experienced mamas can help me out a little. I am having trouble trying to figure out what items I'm really going to need. I know that I want to get an Arms Reach co-sleeper like this which can double as a bassinet that I can wheel around and possibly use as a changing table. Other than that, I am so confused! For baby to hang out in - I see there are pack 'n plays and playyards (some of which also have bassinets). There are also bouncers, swings, cradles, and nappers, plus playmats. I was looking at this set of three items - it just seems like so much stuff! Plus there are still carseats, strollers, and carriers. Thank goodness, I live in a fairly large home, so room is not a big issue. But I don't want to spend money on stuff that I'm not going to use. Any advice or suggestions? How do I prioritize my spending? Which items would you consider essentials (other than the obvious car seat and such)? Bouncers? swings? playyards? ugh! What are some of your favorite, can't-live-without items? 

[akemi]

I would consider a good carrier a can't live without item. That said, with my daughter I sort of started collecting them, which totally wasn't necessary, but fun ;) I kept 3 from when she was a baby, and just bought an ergo for this baby, and I'm going to resist buying any more carriers.

I used the bumbo seat quite a bit last time, and I'll probably get one again. They have trays that you could put snacks on now too for when the baby's eating finger foods.

I'm trying to decide if I want to buy a bassinet, arms reach cosleeper, or a fisher price Rock 'n Play (like in the set you linked to) for sleeping the first few months. 

The rock 'n play seems great, babies seem to love it (based on reviews) but the head shape thing has me worried. If you read reviews it seems babies sleep so soundly they almost never move or wake during the night which contributes to issues in their neck and head. On one hand sleeping so well sounds great.. on the other... what if it causes problems. I was thinking maybe if I limited it to only nights and only the first 4 months it would be ok, but I'm unsure if I want to risk it. Does anyone have any experience with the Rock 'n Play?

If I lived in the US I think I'd order that set. If you have a big house, you could spread the items around, a bouncer in the bathroom, the swing in your living room / office, and the Rock 'n Play somewhere else.

[HouseofPeace]

ugh- i made a list a couple years ago of what i actually used.

we're minimalists, so it's been a shifting dance, but have yet to feel like we were MISSING something (confession: it took til baby 3 for us to even get a high chair, so very unneedy)

*small cotton blankets and onesies were the necessary clothes items, and SACKS.  loved loved loved my sacks.

*a ring sling- i loved it for carrying, nursing in public (it was my cover-up), doing chores with a little one, and everything.  when they're small and floppy, they just curl up like little shrimps against your warm tummy and heartbeat and are so content

*a bouncy chair/rocking/hammock thing- something to put them down in that keeps them close but off you.  and the vibrating chair/or swing/hammock things are so soothing for the babies

*a co-sleeper/bassinet.  we've done pack-n-play next to the bed, and just got a little rocking bassinet that i was excited about b/c it was so small.  

*changing area- usually has been a dresser top w/ a drawer or two of necessary items and a couple of clean blankets on top

*i loved my boppy for just hanging out w/ baby and nursing in bed.  i would just put the baby on a boppy on a blanket in whichever room i was doing stuff in when little, and then just a blanket when baby was stronger.

*we had the carseat/stroller combo- but got rid of it as it was bulky, awkward and neither of us liked pushing it.  when baby was little, i preferred carrying, when baby was bigger, stroller was nice but not the baby seat one.  and the seat was awkward enough that i really only carried it to the car and back to the house, and whenever i was inbetween the baby was in a sling.  this is 4 babies now, so i know my pattern pretty well.  so just an infant carseat, and then we would get the bigger size when the baby outgrew the first one, which was well past a year for all of mine.

*a nice stroller that you enjoy pushing!!!!  it took me years to end up with one that i don't dread heading out with.  now i've got a double wide jogging stroller w/ big tired (love the big tires as i walk so much, on farms, on fields, on roads).  but this would be my one big investment as you use them for so long after baby gets bigger.  

and, yup, that's my list of what i actually needed to enjoy the first year of life.  toys wandered in and out (they're interests change- the Taggies around 4-6 months are great as all babies want to do then is rub and chew on tags!), and nothing worked for all of them.  lids, dishes, stuffed animals, and other odds and ends were more than enough to entertain the little ones i had.  we've had a couple of teething toys that lasted for a while, but nothing really fancy or specific.  no pacifier takers over here.  my kids were all rolling over before 3 months, and crawling around 6.  so it wasn't a long stretch of needing a place to PUT them.  only one co-slept for a long time.  we're not doing it perfectly, but it has been pretty simple thus far.

[loveandgarbage]

This can be overwhelming huh? With our first we bought or were gifted everything under the sun and many items went unused. My list is very similar to HouseofPeace!

-breastfeeding pillow

-bouncy seat

-booster chair with tray (instead of dedicated high chair)

-ergo and sling (sling for first couple of months, ergo for later)

-sleep wraps (premade swaddlers)

-TONS of cheap washcloths and swaddling blankets (for burp cloths and clean-up)

-bassinet (for newborn naps)

-compact stroller that folds up easily/can fit into your car (there are more options on the market if you wait to use one til the baby is a little older-- we started using ours with DS1 at around 10 months and I don't think DS2 was ever in that stroller because he was very attached)

-exersaucer (at around 6 months my babies LOVED this and it entertained them when I had to take a shower/cook dinner/etc)

With DS1 I loved having a baby bucket carseat because he would fall asleep in the car and stayed asleep in his seat once he was brought inside for a little while. But with DS2 we might as well have had a convertible seat from the start because he woke up the minute the car stopped and I transferred him into the sling or ergo. So not sure which one to recommend with carseats.

[Chloe'sMama]

I think the carrier is the most important item. I also love the ergo and have a few others that I will use too. I amxsmall chested and do not use covers.... if I was someplace where I felt self conscious I would cover with a swaddling blanket. I never used a crib, but plan on having one this time as a safe place for baby to nap. We cosleep and didn't like the co-sleeper much. I also just change baby on the bed on a towel..... or the floor. I love the bouncer seats for when baby is a little older. I also think a swing or seat is nice too. I had a boppy for both girls, but plan on getting a 'my breast friend' for this one.

I don't do bottles but both my kids have had pacifiers and if he wants one, this baby will too.

I got a nursing chair that has not been used much for nursing, but having a comfy place to nurse is a must!

[sweetestday]

This is my 5th, so I have everything I need. Especially since my next oldest just turned one. ;)

If I had to start over again I'd skip the crib since we co-sleep. A portable crib is nice for using, like for now when I'm weaning my 1yo from our bed.

I would skip the changing table, too. I got rid of that fairly soon into motherhood. It was mostly used for clothes and diaper storage, but I changed diapers on the bed, floor, couch, or where ever.

My three carriers of choice, depending on the situation are the Ergo, a ring sling and a wrap. 

I love our swivel wheeled jogging stroller for when baby is 6 months or older. I just can't carry a baby for an entire exercise walk anymore.

For diapers I've found that my fave is a Bummis snap cover with receiving blankets folded to the size of a prefold. You can't beat the ease of washing and drying, not to mention the price of used receiving blankets that nobody else seems to want. Plus, cut up they make great wipes.

Clothes for newborns: pretty much cotton one piece sleepers or outfits. I don't like putting things with waists on little ones, and a bunch of snaps are the biggest pain ever invented. My absolute favorite things are zip up cotton one piece pajamas. Also the zip up buntings without legs... just arms and a big bag thing for their legs to kick. They seem to be best for cold nights to keep the body heat in. They are wonderful for diaper changing, too.

Blankets you seem to get a ton of for baby gifts. I got rid of most of the fleecy ones, and kept the nice natural cotton, wool or hand made ones from people.

I've never had a swing, but loved using the bouncer thing for the first few months. From there I use an exer-saucer that my mom passed down from her foster care days. It's nice to have a place to set a baby near-by while you make supper, or take a shower. 

It's fun to collect some nice wooden toys. I try to stay away from plastic as much as possible, but love finding wooden treasures when I can. 

Oh, and a glider rocker is great to have for nursing and comforting.

[Brambleberry]

Here's a list by an RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers) blog that I often have found helpful with DD. http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/12/what-will-my-baby-really-need-a-new-parents-checklist/  (read the comments at the bottom too - further good suggestions).  I discovered RIE when DD was already a toddler, so I can't vouch for all their philosophy regarding infants - I've read some of it but not all.  I know some AP (Attachment Parenting) advocates dismiss RIE altogether because it sort of advocates a gentler version of "crying it out" method of sleep teaching.  I'm totally against CIO, but I still find most of RIE's basic tenets more AP than what most AP parents practice.  It's basically about respecting your baby.  Sorry to get off topic, but I felt like it needed some explanation.  

I think it's a pretty good list of necessary and unnecessary baby gear, with links to explanations about why you need or don't need such and such.  I'm personally still on the fence about bouncy seats - I agree that flat on the back is best for baby's development and freedom of exploration, but I always worried about someone stepping on DD if I just left her on a blanket in the middle of the floor.  I'm considering using a laundry basket this time as a place to set her down close by to wherever I'm working (when she's not being worn).  The way that bouncy seats prop babies up allows them to see what you're doing better and interact a little more easily, but it's a little unnatural if baby is not developmentally able to sit up on her/his own yet, and so it supposedly creates a dependency on parents to entertain baby.  We took the batteries out of our bouncy seats (and all toys/baby gear we were given) because we didn't want to "technologize" her, and the vibration thing can create an unnatural dependency.  On the other hand, if you really need a break and the vibrating bouncy seat does it for you, who am I to criticize a tired parent?  RIE encourages allowing baby to learn to be self-entertained - you can't really "teach" baby this, but there are things that many parents do that prevent baby from having the freedom to entertain herself.  So in theory, an RIE baby is "easier" and you don't need the vibrating bouncy seat.  We'll see. 

Janet's list includes a "playpen or gated play space," and later down in the comments she mentions that it's not good to continue to use a playpen once baby is crawling.  I agree - playpens are little cages that prevent baby from learning and exploring and generally will just piss her off.  But you do need to have someplace safe to put a mobile baby in minor emergencies.  I found a play mat with 8-10" sides that folded up helpful for containing DD when she was just becoming mobile and needed to be kept safe and out from under foot.  Ideally we would have been more on top of the baby proofing, but it took a while to get everything up to code.  

We don't need too much more stuff than what we have from DD.  I'm planning on making a wooden baby gym thing similar to this that is easy to move around to wherever I want to lay baby down and won't be too bulky.  I might keep an eye out for a Moses basket at kid's consignment stores, but if I can't find one for pretty cheap, a laundry basket is good enough for me :)

[Brambleberry]

Originally Posted by sweetestday 

...

Blankets you seem to get a ton of for baby gifts. I got rid of most of the fleecy ones, and kept the nice natural cotton, wool or hand made ones from people.

...

Yeah, what is it with people giving blankets?  (o.k. I must admit I did it too in my pre-baby days).  You're not really even supposed to use them anymore due to sids risks and all.  We got a TON of blankets as baby shower gifts - many of them hand-made which makes it harder to just get rid of them.

[JessNP]

Thank you guys so much for all of your help! I printed out the responses so far and I've been looking up the specific products mentioned. I cannot tell you how immensely helpful the specifics are! I am definitely not going to worry about a changing table. I also really like the "brest friends" nursing pillow - I've only seen the boppy until now. Again, thanks so much! I am starting out with literally nothing, as all of my friends and family have much older kids.   

I started a Baby Registry on Amazon.com. I like that you can add items from any website to the list. Also, if you sign up as an "Amazon Mom" you get special discounts, like free 2-day shipping and 20% off certain items (I'm already an Amazon prime member, so I'm not sure what other benefits there are - they kinda overlap). They also have a 90 day return policy on most things, which is nice. 

[JessNP]

Brambleberry - just saw the link you posted for JanetLansbury.com - very interesting site! Interesting re: the bouncy seats/ swings/ exercisers &  natural gross motor development. 

[etsdtm99]

I am a little late here.. but my must have list is pretty short so i'll post it anyway..

-a wrap &  for 6+ mo (not that you can't use it earlier), i love my beco butterfly2

-pack n play/co sleeper or something - this is actually more important for a 2nd+ baby for me because i need a safe place to put baby away from the other kids

-bed rail (for safe co-sleeping)

-swing that vibrates (so i don't need a swing and bouncy seat)

-simple playmat (like the 20$ version not the 60$ one, the toys don't matter)

-carseat, obviously ( i know a lot of people skip the bucket seat but i like them for getting baby in and out without seat being hot or cold)

-I love my Mcclaren strollers  (i have 2, the quest and i can't remember hte other one) - If you don't need a jogging stroller (for jogging or for bumpier uneven terrain) they are awesome. light weight, last forever, etc.  (i also have a snap & go stroller for the car seat, but i wouldn't need that if i didn't have the other kids, i can't carry the carseat and hold on to a toddler, so if i need the carseat to come with me i need the stroller but a travel system would be overkill, i had one and hated it) 

-diapers & clothes

and thats pretty much it for the first few months!
 

[JessNP]

etsdtm99 - ur definitely not late! I appreciate any and all input as there is so much to process. This may sound like a really dumb question - and I apologize for being clueless, but why a bedrail for co-sleeping? Doesn't the baby sleep in the middle of the bed with an adult on either side? or is that if it's just one adult and the baby? 

[shazrael]

I think everyone has given pretty great advice, I just want to add that I recommend a nursing pillow for every floor of your house. My son was born while I lived with family in a two story house, and by the second week I was so sick of trying to remember to carry a baby and a pillow whenever I switched floors. I bought a second Boppy then and it was so worth the money. When my now toddler was six months I didn't really use a pillow anymore and was living in a one floor apartment, so and gave one to a friend. Fast forward a year and now I am in my own two story house and about to purchase a second nursing pillow. With my body shape they make a huge difference, but I do have friends who have very short torsos and didn't like them at all.

[loveandgarbage]

When we co-slept the baby would mostly be in the middle, however I would switch him to "my side" to nurse on the other breast lying down.

[typebug]

Originally Posted by JessNP 

I started a Baby Registry on Amazon.com. I like that you can add items from any website to the list. Also, if you sign up as an "Amazon Mom" you get special discounts, like free 2-day shipping and 20% off certain items (I'm already an Amazon prime member, so I'm not sure what other benefits there are - they kinda overlap). They also have a 90 day return policy on most things, which is nice. 

I did that Amazon registry too so my family and friends can buy stuff and ship it straight here. There's a function to only show items eligible for global shipping. Had to keep everything small though. ;)

[etsdtm99]

Originally Posted by JessNP 

etsdtm99 - ur definitely not late! I appreciate any and all input as there is so much to process. This may sound like a really dumb question - and I apologize for being clueless, but why a bedrail for co-sleeping? Doesn't the baby sleep in the middle of the bed with an adult on either side? or is that if it's just one adult and the baby? 

Technically, safe co-sleeping guidelines say not to let baby sleep by dad, they don't (in general) have the hormonal connection with baby that keeps  them aware of where baby is. (http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/sleep-safety/safe-co-sleeping-habits) so for a newborn i always keep baby away from dad while co-sleeping (up til about 1 month)...  the guidelines are generally recommended up to 1 yr old, but i admit i don't follow all of them for that long.. 

I also move baby (when they are a couple months old, not following the guidelines, obviously) from one side to the other to nurse rather than laying on one side all night (did that with my first and it killed my shoulder/hip) so its nice to have the bedrail for that too - newborns/small babies generally cuddle with mom and don't roll away but it does happen occasionally and knowing that they'll be rolling into a bed rail vs onto the floor helps me to sleep better..   when they are really rolling and starting to crawl i lower the mattress to the floor ..  i still use a bedrail sleeping with my 2 yr old with the mattress only raised to the box springs.. half the time that is more for me though cause she takes up sooo much room int he middle of the bed that I am all the way on the edge and afraid i'll fall off..

[typebug]

I have this growing pile in my livingroom already.

- I have a little soft co-sleeper someone gave me to go into the bed between us for the first while. Hubby is a sound sleeper (rolls over the cat) so it's really to protect baby from him. I have the built in mommy-protector gene and wake up in time to save the cat so I assume I won't be rolling over the baby. We'll see how it goes. Most co-sleeping families I know don't use these but hey, it was free. ;) 

- We have the Stokke Bounce and Sleep and the Stokke Day bed which will be good for the first three months. Nice and light to drag around the apartment.

- We are getting the Maxi-cosi carseat which will clip into the Bugaboo Bee stroller. I've had the chance to use my friend's and this one is so light I can pick up each part in one hand.  

- I have a baby bjorn. The wraps are really sticky in the 100 degree heat here but I might get one for travel. 

- Using the top of a vintage vanity as a change table. I'm ordering some foam and soft mats for it.

- I'm also getting a few glass bottles and nipples and breast pump & bottle warmer given to me. 

- Going to get a boppy and breast feeding pillow too.

I'm only thinking of the first three months here. I am 99% sure we'll have another international move to deal with by month 4. 

[sweetestday]

I don't like to have a newborn next to Daddy and my husband likes to snuggle under lots of covers, so I keep the baby on the other side of me uncovered. I roll up a blanket or robe as a barrier to the edge of the bed, and then I have a wooden hanging cradle right next to the edge. My 1yo has gotten restless enough at night that he's fallen out of our bed and into the hanging cradle without waking up. :)

[sweetestday]

Oh, and for ease of bedding changes, I lay out a crib sized water proof mattress cover, then a nice cotton blanket over the sheets on the baby's side of the bed in case of wetting. It's so much more simple than changing our king sized bed every other night. ;)

[mama3blessings]

We have the infant to toddler rocker and love it.
Pouch sling and Ergo
Still have the hammock from my youngest son who is 7 now and it really was worth the money
Carseat
Stroller from my daughter, which is green so it works for either gender. It also has a build in changing table which is really neat.
We have a pack and play still from my son but only use it when we travel.

I don't do changing tables, as we always use either the couch or bed anyways.