Unassisted, anyone? « Back to Group Discussions

[1babysmom]

So I'm thinking we're going to go ahead with another unassisted homebirth (would be our 3rd), Lord-willing! I wasn't sure what we'd do this time after my losses, I felt sort of tied to a care provider (an OB specifically for regular labwork and Rx's), but there's no reason I need to have someone assist me for birth, and I don't want all the testing done in pregnancy anyway. So I think I will ask my FIL to do my labwork every 4-6 weeks, adjust from there, and ditch my OB. He's a very kind man, but pretty useless for someone who actually knows what they are doing, KWIM? We have few to no midwives in my area, though I am contacting one a few hours away out of curiosity. I'd love to go unassisted again if it works out though!!

Is anybody else going unassisted for the pregnancy and or the birth?

Edited by 1babysmom - 9/19/12 at 8:38am

[camprunner]

For just the lab work there are several independent places. The trick is getting the rx.

[1babysmom]

Originally Posted by camprunner 

For just the lab work there are several independent places. The trick is getting the rx.

Yeah, thankfully my FIL can do it all for me (he prescribed me originally and he sees me all the time so he notices clinical changes, etc).  My OB didn't even know what a TPO draw was, and it seems many MANY other places don't.  Crazy.

[TIFF4NY]

What does your FIL do?

[1babysmom]

He's an MD.

[1babysmom]

Nobody else unassisted?  There's usually been at least 1 or 2 more in my DDC's in the past!  Surely there is someone out there.... :)

[firespiritmelody]

They'll probably join in later

[TIFF4NY]

My BFF is in the January 13 DDC on here and her last baby was a unplanned, unassisted. She had a super fast labor with #1 and then with #2 her water broke and she delivered the baby herself over the toilet before her midwife could even get there. Her DH and DS watched from the hallway. We think her fast labors make up for the horrendous ms she has during the pregnancies. 

[lmnopxz]

Hey! =]

I am currently seeing a midwife who works at an OBGYN, who only does hospital births, so I dont really fully understand what the difference between her and the OB is.  But anyway, she does not do home births.  This is my first pregnancy.  Im seeing her approx every 4 weeks right now, which seems really pointless too.  My last appointment literally lasted a few minutes, not a whole lot was said/asked/discussed.  So Im feeling more and more comfortable with the fact that she is not needed by me.  Im pretty positive that I will go ahead with an unassisted birth at home.
 

[1babysmom]

Originally Posted by lmnopxz 

Hey! =]

I am currently seeing a midwife who works at an OBGYN, who only does hospital births, so I dont really fully understand what the difference between her and the OB is.  But anyway, she does not do home births.  This is my first pregnancy.  Im seeing her approx every 4 weeks right now, which seems really pointless too.  My last appointment literally lasted a few minutes, not a whole lot was said/asked/discussed.  So Im feeling more and more comfortable with the fact that she is not needed by me.  Im pretty positive that I will go ahead with an unassisted birth at home.
 

Awesome!  That's kind of how I felt when I had a midwife with #2.  I did actually tell her we were considering a UC (although she was 3 hours away from me so it wasn't far fetched to plan for), and she was okay with it, but I did feel like the prenatal appointments that I had with her up until the birth were pretty pointless.

We are planning a UC for sure as of now!

[babycatcher12]

I'm planning an unassisted birth this time. I had an unplanned UC HBA3C with my last live-born child. I haven't been able to find a midwife willing to travel to where I am, the closest one is 4 hours away. I know as a VBAC mom I won't be able to get a "fair shake" in the hospitals around here. Most of the docs aren't even willing to talk to me about it. I'm feeling good about a UC. DH is actually really supportive of it too, he just wants an extra "set of hands" here in case he needs something. Working on that. :) I'm a nurse and worked L&D before we moved here so I'm comfortable with the process. I just don't want to be in "nurse mode" while I'm laboring. 

The only thing I really want is a sono to make sure the placenta is away from my scar. Just trying to figure out the logistics of that whole thing. 

[Martha83]

Kudos to you guys. I know I probably could do an unassisted birth...we almost did with #4...midwife made it by 7 minutes....I'd have pushed her out the same lol....

I really dont understand "midwives" that act just like OB's...why not be called a nurse or nurse aid....you aren't a midwife IMO if you dont act like a midwife. You have to act like a mom to BE a mom...having a baby doesn't do that for you....you have to act like a midwife to be a midwife...school doesn't automatically do that for you...same same. Irritates the crud out of me. lol

[1babysmom]

So are you guys UP'ing as well, or just doing the birth unassisted?  I'd love to chat about home "appointments" as we go!!

[babycatcher12]

I'm UPing too. I really don't want the drama of entering the medical system and then leaving it. YKWIM? My old midwife (who lives 5 hours away) and I had a long talk the other night and she is actually quite supportive of the idea. She "signed my permission slip" for the sono I'm having to verify placenta placement at a free standing sono place, other than that...not planning any visits anywhere. I really just need a relaxed, low stress pregnancy and birth after my last two losses. I firmly believe the only way I'll get that is to UP/UC. If we hadn't moved and I were closer to my midwife, I would probably see her because she is very hands off and trusts me. We're good with this plan. 

I was going to ask...IRL do you tell others that you're planning to UC? If not, what do you tell them when they ask who you're seeing? (I get this question all the time)

[1babysmom]

Originally Posted by babycatcher12 

I was going to ask...IRL do you tell others that you're planning to UC? If not, what do you tell them when they ask who you're seeing? (I get this question all the time)

No.  Well, my MIL knows (and fully supports us).  But I won't tell others.  I didn't tell them the last 2 times either, I think they probably assume we had care and then just had the baby at home.  I am not sure...I don't really want to discuss it. LOL  But since I saw my OB a few times with this baby, I'm just going to leave it at that, let them assume.  Because this time around, I think they'll believe we are SUPER irresponsible to do it ourselves after all my recent losses (as if this would have anything to do with them....).  So yeah, no telling here. LOL

We do get a late u/s with each UC (about 33/34 weeks...before baby is "too" big to accurately check on things) because I want to check placenta placement and stuff like that- basically just one last "go ahead" for our UC.  So I kinda have that to work with me in this area.

[Kara9080]

I'm pretty sure I could and wouldn't be scared but no, not planning on it. However, if it happens, it happens. :)

[KateHNM]

This is my first pregnancy and I haven't had a whole lot of support from my family but I want to have a home birth with a midwife.  I don't tell most people because many think it's crazy.  I have done quite a bit of research and have found two midwives that work together and I think they are great.  They have the support of an OB/GYN that works out of a hospital so they can give me prescriptions and scripts to have ultrasounds done or lab work when I feel it is necessary.  They even give me 24/7 access to all the information they have about my pregnancy with this secure website where I can see all test results, ultrasound information, etc.  After numerous unsatisfactory experiences with ob/gyns in this area, I can't explain enough how much happier I am with this style of care.  Our appointments are an hour- hour and a half of just talking about the pregnancy and I feel like all of my questions are addressed and answered fully.  They are very genuine and down to earth but not weird or preachy at all.  They even lent me some pregnancy books to read.  It's just nice to be treated like I'm going through a natural, simple process rather than feeling like a problem waiting to happen at any moment.  Just wanted to say I can understand wanting to go unassisted and I may someday as well but I'm happy to have these professionals to guide me in a water birth at home for the first time at least.

And I have to admit I'm new to some of the blogging language.  What does UPing mean?  Or UC?

[bmcneal]

At the moment, we are not planning UC as a first choice, but with the way the appointments are going with my OB, I'm not sure we'll be sticking with them for much longer, and if that's the case, DH said we would look for a midwife that insurance would pay for that would do HB, or UC. I'm sure I could do it by myself, and apparently DF is pretty confident, as well, because he suggested it, so now I'm just trying to gather information on what to expect/what kinds of supplies I should have at home. (I've always wanted home birth, but with DD and DS, it was never a feasible plan.) So any suggestions/information would be great. :)

[1babysmom]

Originally Posted by KateHNM 

And I have to admit I'm new to some of the blogging language.  What does UPing mean?  Or UC?

UC is unassisted childbirth, UP is unassisted pregnancy. :)

Welcome and congrats!!!

[1babysmom]

Originally Posted by bmcneal 

At the moment, we are not planning UC as a first choice, but with the way the appointments are going with my OB, I'm not sure we'll be sticking with them for much longer, and if that's the case, DH said we would look for a midwife that insurance would pay for that would do HB, or UC. I'm sure I could do it by myself, and apparently DF is pretty confident, as well, because he suggested it, so now I'm just trying to gather information on what to expect/what kinds of supplies I should have at home. (I've always wanted home birth, but with DD and DS, it was never a feasible plan.) So any suggestions/information would be great. :)

I order myself a normal "birth kit" with lots of chux pads (though we rarely ever use them at birth, I generally use them afterwards, like in bed, so I don't have to worry about bleeding all over the place...LOVE them for that!), some disposable pads (cloth user here, but I like those gi-hugic peach colored hospital style pads right after birth), mesh undies (love those too LOL), peri bottles (again, LOVE! LOL), cord clamp (I have always preferred clamping to tying, though I know I'm in the minority), etc.  I just pick and choose things based on what we don't have left over.  DH always brings home and OB kit as well, which is mostly similar stuff, and I keep that in the car leading up to the birth just so we have something in there "just in case."  Other than that, we've just used towels (just regular bathroom ones usually, they clean up like new), and I've labored most of the time on my exercise ball, so those are my go-to birth prep items.  Oh, but I also have Rescue Remedy on hand for the labor, and I like to have a stash of coconut water to drink to keep up my energy and electrolytes.

I like to have all the herbal and homeopathic "meds" on hand, like angelica and shepherd's purse for placenta/bleeding issues, arnica for trauma stuff, carbo vegetabilis for baby, etc.  I have a little laminated paper that has all of them with their uses and dosages and what not in case DH is the one in charge of administering them. :)  We have also had things like zofran on hand, and we had O2 last time. (DH brought it from work)  And I'm totally not adverse to consuming my placenta raw if needed. ;)

Honestly though, this is all stuff I'd likely have even if we weren't planning a UC, because I'm of the mindset now that anybody should be prepared for a UC even if they don't want one, KWIM?