Breastfeeding, Daycare & Naps

[Nadine8]

Hello all, I am having difficulties putting my son in daycare. He's 16 months old and has been sleeping at my breast since born. Last week I attempted to go back to work and thought I had found a great home daycare. He cried and cried when the owner tried to put him down for a nap which ended up making the other children wake up and missing their naps. So she told us it wouldn't work out and now I am left with having to extend my mat leave (again) and unsure of what to do next. We have thought of him missing his nap but that just makes him grumpy and extremely tired the next day. Unfortunately we need two incomes to support us or I would love to stay at home with him. We have tried a few things to try to help him sleep on his own (from Elizabeth Pantley's and Dr. Sears books). The only thing we have not tried is to let him CIO. That's not our parenting style and I don't think it would work in the end. He not only cries, but also kicks and stands up in his crib. Has anyone ever dealt with this? Would it be easier to wait till he's 2 to put him in daycare? Thanks for reading.

[chiromama01]

Hi Nadine! I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time with this. It must be so frustrating. My dd was the same way when we put her in daycare at 9 months old. Here's my thoughts for you: could u find a daycare center with a low teacher to student ratio? My kids are at a center with a 3:1 ratio for that age, and they have a 3td person available as a "floater" to attend to the kids who are having a hard time. a daycare center may have the resources and staff to help your little one with this transition, if it's the right place. Ours is very AP and promotes gentle discipline, too. We use a mothers day out program, so perhaps you could looks at those programs in your area.

OR --- could u ask our DCP to put him down for his nap before or after the other kids go down? Or in anotherpartof the house?

Sorry a bit of a ramble... Just home from work myself...

[dogretro]

If the DCP told you it wouldn't work after only one day, that is bad (on her). Kids need time to adjust. I agree about finding a center.

[Ms Rabbit]

I agree with pp about the daycare provider - 1 day is not nearly long enough!

I went back to work when DS2 was 12 months old and would only fall asleep if nursed. I was very nervous about leaving him during the day and how he was going to handle naptime, but after only a few days it wasn't even an issue! Our nanny would start the naptime routine at the same time each day, but instead of nursing he received cuddles and stories until he fell asleep. He only put up a fuss for a day or two, after that he was fine with the new routine. At that age babies know who nurses them and who doesn't, and since I wasn't around I guess he didn't even see it as an option.

Up until he weaned at 17 months however, he would *not* fall asleep without nursing if I was around. Bedtimes and weekend nap times he still insisted on nursing to sleep.

I suggest trying a new provider and giving it some time.

[Mommel]

Hi... I agree with the PPs on this. One day is not enough time to adjust for such a little one. My kiddo also still sleeps at the breast, and I put him in DC a month ago now. It's a Reggio school with a low ratio, and they are very loving and sweet with him and his adjustment. They often lay down next to him, or sometimes they take him for a stroller ride to help him fall asleep. Honestly though, he doesn't nap a lot on their watch, but that just means he goes to bed earlier and sleeps later, which is okay too. It's an adjustment for the whole family, and one day is not enough time to adjust or to even know if it will work out or not. It sounds like your provider is not prepared to handle your child with the kind of love and attention you need him to have... in which case, it's good that she said so, rather than provide poor care. Keep looking. Don't give up. There are affordable providers who you can trust to be kind and gentle to your LO over the transition period and beyond, but it often takes time to find them.