Sleep Rant, Partner Rant - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[chiromama01]

Wow, all you ladies seem so much more dedicated to a healthy nighttime routine than I am. Ugh. We nurse to sleep, he sleeps in his crib till about 11. Then he joins me in Bed, and we nurse/ sleep/ nurse till morning. Right now it works, but he'll probably be in bed with us till he's 10...sigh

[RosieL]

lala - When we started no-cry sleep solution I unlatched Odin many times...it improved slowly over time. But slowly. I'm not sure it was 22 though! Are you opposed to pacifiers? Odin didn't like them at first, then took to them, then used them all the time, and now we're back to using them only when he's having a particularly rough time. Otherwise he's going to sleep either by himself or with rocking. It took a long time to get here though. 

I don't know if our routine is making a difference yet, but we're sticking to it for now. Bath, PJs, book, key words ("goodnight big bear, goodnight dogs, goodnight mommy goodnight daddy, goodnight odin!"), white noise on, lights out. I'm *hoping* this turns into the magic combination that eventually triggers sleep automatically. I can only hope. :) 

[RosieL]

Chiro - if it works for you, I see no reason not to go that way! Did your DD stay in bed with you long term? 

[chiromama01]

Rosie dd was with us in bed till she was 2 1/2. We had her in her bed at about fifteen months, then she got VERY sick for about 10 days, and we had to give her fluids with a dropper every 15 minutes, so she slept in our bed, and after that it was forever before we got her back in her bed...

I hope your efforts with odins bedtime routine pay off!

[Christy1980]

Originally Posted by lalazap 

We are still very occupied with sleep stuff over here too. Since my last post in this thread three weeks ago we had a period of lovely 3h+3h+3h sleeps with only the briefest of wake-ups for nursing in between, and I was feeling really good about it and hopeful that we'd start to extend those stretches. Then out of the blue we had a few dire nights where she was literally waking up every hour, and refusing to unlatch from the boob in between, and I was just laying there in bed with my skin crawling feeling like I was being gnawed on by this horrible little demon and we'd both be in tears by the time I passed her off to DP. Really really hard times. I am chalking this up to the 26 week wonder week as the increased wakefulness/restlessness hit at exactly 26 weeks from my EDD.

I've been trying the No-Cry Sleep Solution ideas for breaking the nurse-to-sleep association (popping her off before falling asleep) but she is one persistent little nursling and even after 3+ weeks of consistent effort, I counted 21 attempts to delatch before she finally acquiesced last night. I may give that up and try instead to move nursing to a different place in the going-to-sleep routine. Or just go with it and nurse to sleep because it's easy and I'm lazy and I'm tired and the last thing I want to do is get up and rock/walk her.

We are so far from being able to put her in the crib awake, I can't even imagine that, or how to get there.

DP is also full of suggestions that I feel are improbable or poorly thought out or not applicable to our baby. That said, I am the one who is not sleeping so my critical thinking skills may well be impaired (BTW, how in the world do you mamas function who have returned to work?? still on Canadian mat leave for another 6 months ...) . But I especially resent the suggestions that would require even more nighttime effort from me and I too find it very hard not to take it personally when she wakes up!

Am rambling and tired ...

Yes, me, all of it...You totally wrote what I was thinking!

We are still not sleeping through the night, and can't imagine putting Isaac down awake in his crib without a TOTAL meltdown, unless its to change his clothes/diaper.

No advice, we are so not in a position to help anyone else with this, lol.  Thank you for the support thread, I was afraid we were the only ones.

[ReadingRenee]

So sleep.  DD will now only go to bed and STAY in bed if I am with her in our bed.  If i put her in her bed she will wake up within 10-20 min and take a LONG time to get back down and then wake up again in 10-15 min.  And it doesn't matter if I lay her down asleep or if I lay her down awake and pat her to sleep OR if she falls asleep on her own.  She will nap ok in her bed during the day some of the time but bedtime is KILLING me!  For the first 6 months of her life we have always put her in her bed to go to sleep and she would wake up maybe every hour and need a quick 10 minute nurse or rock and then back to sleep for another few hours.  But no more.

Anyone have any ideas that I haven't thought of?  My dh is VERY reluctant to give up our bedroom at night to put her down in our room plus its right next to the living room so much noisier.  

I feel like her needs are telling me she needs to be close to me at night but Im afraid its just going to keep getting more and more intense til she wont' sleep anywhere but next to me all the time and I will never again have a free evening with dh or free time in the day.   i know parenthood is full of sacrifices but I am seriously feeling touched out and like my baby is attached to my body 24/7.  And yes I know that is normal and natural, Im just tired. :)

[Aletheia]

Things sound really rough for you right now!  You can almost count on things being totally better in another month, but in the meantime...

Is she just now 6 months?  There is a growth spurt at 6 months, and if she is too distracted to eat well during the day, she could be even hungrier at night.

Have you begun solids?  If they are replacing, instead of supplementing milk, she is at a caloric disadvantage.  Make sure to only do solids right after milk.

There is a Wonder Weeks developmental spurt at 6.5 months- that is currently derailing our sleep, too.

Is she getting too much sleep in the daytime?  The benchmark for this age is no more than 3 hours.

Just some ideas before I go get my fusser.

[ReadingRenee]

Originally Posted by Aletheia 

Things sound really rough for you right now!  You can almost count on things being totally better in another month, but in the meantime...

Is she just now 6 months?  There is a growth spurt at 6 months, and if she is too distracted to eat well during the day, she could be even hungrier at night.

Have you begun solids?  If they are replacing, instead of supplementing milk, she is at a caloric disadvantage.  Make sure to only do solids right after milk.

There is a Wonder Weeks developmental spurt at 6.5 months- that is currently derailing our sleep, too.

Is she getting too much sleep in the daytime?  The benchmark for this age is no more than 3 hours.

Just some ideas before I go get my fusser.

Thanks for the reply! 

Let's see, she has been doing this for a few weeks now, probably just about since she turned 6 months old.  She is now almost 7 months old. We haven't started solids yet at all as she hasn't really shown an overwhelming interest and she has absolutely no teeth.  It's true she doesn't nurse as well during the day as she does the night.  In fact usually at that first time when I finally give up and take her to bed and lay down with her she stays latched on nursing and dozing for at least 45 minutes and maybe 3 or 4 letdowns! She is a big baby and I have wondered if she needs solids but it seems like breastmilk would be more filling and more calories?

I will keep an eye on her daytime sleep. She is currently transitioning to 2 naps instead of 3 but some days she still ends up with 3.  Its getting very confusing. 

The wonder weeks development sounds right on target.  

Thanks for the ideas.  I will try to start nursing her in her room with the door closed during the day and see if that makes a difference.  

My struggle is do I keep resisting and putting her down in her room and dealing with the lack of sleep for both of us and persevere or is she trying to tell me that she needs to be next to me all night long?  I dont' want to ignore her needs but I would LOVE some time to myself after being home with all 3 kids all day long.

eta: after she does that long nursing session she falls into a pretty deep sleep and when she wakes up in the night she often doesn't want to nurse, just wants me to hold her to go back to sleep.0

[ReadingRenee]

Just to add a little more

She will happily peacefully fall asleep ALL BY HERSELF in her bed for her morning nap.  I sit by her crib and she just rolls around and eventually goes to sleep.  But I CANNOT get her to do that at night.  I dont' know if its my timing, or the darkness, or what.  How many hours between the last nap and bedtime does everyone do?

[tarabelle]

i read recently that 4-5 hours between last nap of the day and bedtime is considered pretty key for most babies!

[ReadingRenee]

Originally Posted by tarabelle 

i read recently that 4-5 hours between last nap of the day and bedtime is considered pretty key for most babies!

Thanks that is very helpful.  I think I was trying to put her to bed too early.  Like 2.5 hours to 3 hours after her last nap.  Im always so worried about overtired that sometimes I jump the gun. Since I started waiting about 4 hours she goes to sleep at bedtime so much better. :) She still won't stay asleep at night unless I am holding her so we are trying a new thing of me going to bed with her and hopefully once her body is used to sleeping through those hours I will be able to sneak away for hopefully more than 20 minutes.  We will see.  But putting her down in her crib at night has turned into a failure.  It's been a month and all its doing is making her not get sleep because she refuses to go back to sleep in her bed and after hours of trying its midnight, she has no consistent bedtime, and then she becomes overtired, wakes up early the next day and the cycle gets worse.