I come here with a plea of help and advice.
I have a 3 year 3 month old and a 6 month old (boys). In the last month or so I am really struggling with my own anger issues. My 3 year old is really pushing his boundaries, he even tells me he wants to make me mad! I have found myself shouting at him on many occasions to the point where I can feel myself losing control. I have to leave the room and calm down so I don't do something I regret. I'm am scaring myself, and maybe him and I desperately need to find a way to redirect my anger. I just see red. And I'm usually holding my 6 month old at the time so he hears/sees it all. I am such a dreadful mother :0(
I have always followed and believed in attachment parenting principles. We all co-sleep and I breastfeed and babywear. I believe in gentle discipline and try to practice it. But my anger is just taking over. I know this is a trying age and that having the baby to deal with too is making things harder but I am the adult and he is the child. I should be able to rise above it. But at the moment I feel so lost.
A little background. My life is particularly stressful at the moment. I am seeing a relationship councillor with my husband as we are having problems. Not too serious, but we recognise we need to address our issues between each other. My husbands business has recently failed so we are verging on bankruptcy. He is looking for work where he can which means he is away 3 nights a week at the moment. I am feeling very alone dealing with everything and the children.
Anyway, if anyone has any good suggestions or ideas of how I can start to find ways to rechannel my anger. And stop myself seeing red at my eldest. He is only three. He is very precocious. He has the vocabulary of a 6 year old and has always been a very confident, quite aggressive child.