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Mothering › Groups › May 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Damn I think I'm out

Damn I think I'm out

post #1 of 41
Thread Starter 

Went in for first appointment today at 7 weeks. The doctor did the routine ultrasound for new patients. We had a previous ultrasound at 4w6d (to establish intra-uterine location), so that provided a point of comparison. The baby size was only measuring 3mm, which is too small for what it should have been at this point. There might have been some cardiac activity, but she said it could have been my own blood or something. She also identified a subchorionic hemmorhage. I have had no bleeding whatsoever. So, my diagnosis, missed miscarriage.

 

I am totally kicking myself. This time around, I trusted in my body. Even though it was my sixth pregnancy (only 2 live births), I thought, I can do this! I have done it twice before! I am not going to stress. I did not even think to ask for progesterone supplements. My firstborn was conceived with a fertility doc, and I took supplements, so I also requested them with the second. This time, I didn't even think about it. Totally kicking myself, because that is the only difference between the failed and successful pregnancies (except for the ectopic, for which there was no progesterone, but there was a heartbeat, just in the wrong location).

 

I know there are cases where people go in at 7 weeks, and see something similar, and are worried, but go in the next week, and everything is fine. But, when you have a previous ultrasound to go by, I see this as pretty much hopeless. Did a lot of grieving today. It's going to be a long road to get back to square one. And, haven't had to do this in a while, so I'm a bit out of practice.

 

Anyway, I don't want to be a downer for those of you who are having your first, or who have never experienced miscarriage. I think you should totally continue to be excited and stress-free! I think there are just those of us who are more prone to these things... and, after all, I am 38 now!!

 

Best wishes to everyone else for a happy and sticky pregnancy!! I will update when it is all confirmed.

post #2 of 41

I'm so sorry to hear this Porcelina.  hug2.gif

post #3 of 41

Hugs Porcelina.  I am so sorry to hear this.  It is hard to trust your body after any loss and you are brave for doing it so well.  Please let us know what happens and I will keep you in my thoughts.  Sending good healing vibes your way.

 

brokenheart.gif

 

 

Jacqueline

post #4 of 41

Oh, mama.

 

hug.gif and hug.gif and hug.gif

 

I had a miscarriage in May this year, so those feelings are fresh on my mind. I also needed supplements to sustain my first successful pregnancy, and I didn't use any supplements in May. It's not a bad thing to try to trust in your body. Still, I know those feelings of kicking yourself.

 

You are in my heart, porcelina.

post #5 of 41
I will be thinking of you and praying for you if that's okay. We all have to trust our bodies. Stuff just happens sometimes.
post #6 of 41
Oh porcelina, I'm so sorry. Try not to beat yourself up. I will be thinking of you hug.gif
post #7 of 41

Porcelina, I am so sorry to hear this. Wishing you peace and healing as you recover.

 

hug.gif
 

post #8 of 41

I am so, so, sorry. Big hugs and healing to you.
 

post #9 of 41
Thread Starter 

Thanks, you guys! It is so nice to feel supported.

 

The HCG results were at 16,000+. The nurse said, though, that they stop doubling around the time that the fetal pole develops, so they stop going by the HCG at that point and instead rely on the ultrasounds. So, I'm going to go in for a follow up scan (with better equipment, at the hospital) to confirm. The nurse was nice, she said we never write off a pregnancy with what you see in the office, it really has to be confirmed by a hospital scan. I am not going to hope for anything, though.

 

But man, they were so clueless in the office -- before I left, a nurse tried to give me a folder of information for new moms and the receptionist tried to schedule a follow up appointment was in 4 weeks. They really need to work on communication of these sensitive diagnoses to other members of the office!!
 

post #10 of 41

Sorry to get to this so late, Mama.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.  Stay strong, take good care of yourself, and let us know how we can support you.
 

post #11 of 41

hug2.gif

post #12 of 41

When is your follow-up scan, porcelina?

post #13 of 41

Porcelina, I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending you good and comforting thoughts. Thank you for sharing with all of us...

post #14 of 41

Much love to you *hugs* i have had multiple miscarriages up to this one so hoping this one will be viable, but cant help counting the days still.  :(

Keep trying lovely, you will get there, miscarriage is so sad, i will be thinking of you x

post #15 of 41

ooops.. duplicate post x

post #16 of 41
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by snozzberry View Post

When is your follow-up scan, porcelina?

Monday afternoon. But I am pretty sure there is nothing going on inside anymore. Definitely going for the D&C this time, after horrible experience with cytotec.
post #17 of 41

I'm sorry you have to go through this again. That would be really difficult. I think most of us have it in the back of our minds because you just never know. hug2.gif

post #18 of 41

hope all goes well at your appointment monday, either way I wish you the best health :)

 

... if you don't mind me asking, since I've been so paranoid this pregnancy, do you think ultrasound was related? I've actually avoided going to the doctor after seeing research on ultrasounds :(

post #19 of 41
Thread Starter 

aHikaru, I definitely don't think the ultrasound had anything to do with it. My first two miscarriages were over before the first ultrasound, and my first successful pregnancy was followed very closely by ultrasound (I had them during my cycle to follow the egg, as soon as there was a sac, and then regularly until 12 weeks. 

 

What I do think could have influenced was (1) not taking the progesterone supplements that I did take during my successful pregnancies, and (2) I had a huge work deadline and pretty intense stress right around the time that the baby probably stopped growing. :(
 

post #20 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by porcelina View Post

aHikaru, I definitely don't think the ultrasound had anything to do with it. My first two miscarriages were over before the first ultrasound, and my first successful pregnancy was followed very closely by ultrasound (I had them during my cycle to follow the egg, as soon as there was a sac, and then regularly until 12 weeks. 

 

What I do think could have influenced was (1) not taking the progesterone supplements that I did take during my successful pregnancies, and (2) I had a huge work deadline and pretty intense stress right around the time that the baby probably stopped growing. :(
 

thank you for your honest reply :)

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