Duct taping the principal to a wall - Page 3

[meemee]

Originally Posted by pek64 

 I wouldn't ask a 7 year old for help in making my parenting decisions.

actually i definitely have had a 7 year old help make parenting decisions. sometimes she knows a situation better than me (not specifically this particular situation) and reminds me its not as big as i am making it to be. dunno just coz i am the parent doesnt mean i know best. 

actually i AM listening a lot to what the kids say around me - esp now entering preteen.

sometimes being the old fashioned one means losing connection. 

so there is the other side too. 

[pek64]

I asked for input from my son on issues that affected him, but that's not quite the same as asking for help making a decision, in my opinion. But maybe that's what you mean.

As far as risking the connection goes -- I refuse to make any parenting decision out of fear. Whethet it be fear of losing a connection with my child, a peer, or a family member, I make my decisions and take my chances.

When making decisions, I use something I was told when I was first pregnant. Remember, children grow into adults, so you're not really raising a child, you are raising an adult. Ask yourself "what do I want this person to do or be like as an adult?" when faced with a choice.

If I ask that about duct-taping someone, the answer is "I would not want him to do it; not for charity or as an act of violence". That's my answer. Someone else may have a different answer. That's fine. But it doesn't change *my* answer.

[rachelsmama]

Originally Posted by pek64 

 Ask yourself "what do I want this person to do or be like as an adult?" when faced with a choice.
If I ask that about duct-taping someone, the answer is "I would not want him to do it; not for charity or as an act of violence". That's my answer. Someone else may have a different answer. That's fine. But it doesn't change *my* answer.

I think that's a pretty well thought out reason for your objection.  My personal answer to the question would be: I hope my kid grows up to be an adult who understands the difference between the duct-tape for charity scenario and duct-taping as an act of violence and occasionally does goofy and ridiculous things with consenting adults which may or may not include vollunteering to be duct-taped to a wall for charity. 

[pek64]

Originally Posted by rachelsmama 

I think that's a pretty well thought out reason for your objection.  My personal answer to the question would be: I hope my kid grows up to be an adult who understands the difference between the duct-tape for charity scenario and duct-taping as an act of violence and occasionally does goofy and ridiculous things with consenting adults which may or may not include vollunteering to be duct-taped to a wall for charity. 

For the record, I'm not against goofy things. I think T.P. the principal would be acceptable. I think there were a couple other ideas I liked. And I'm sure my son knows the difference, that's not the point. I think either you understand what I'm trying to say, or not. And since the event already took place, anyway, I'll be letting this one go.

[rachelsmama]

I still wonder if there are regional differences in feelings about duct tape.  Off to start a spin-off thread.
 

[lauren]

When I read your thread title, I assumed you were having issues with your school and were angry enough to 'duct tape the principal to the wall!' I never heard of such a thing and I think it is kind of bizarre.  Some kids might have trauma around duct tape; at least some of the kids I've known in my work. I think it could be triggering for some kids.
 

[kathymuggle]

I don't really like the duct-tape idea - particularly to the mouth.

I find taping someones mouth really inappropriate - it reminds me of kidnappings and, yes, torture.  I would not be surprised if some of the older kids in the room were uncomfortable by the whole thing, and, as is evident by this thread, a number of the parents!

[VisionaryMom]

If our school reaches its goal, our principal is going to ride a tricycle through the school hallways wearing a clown wig. The kids are psyched about that possibility!

[Natalya]

To me it just seems stupid.  If I was a kid I don't think it would really make me want to sell more stuff.  It also doesn't seem that fun or funny...she couldn't think of anything better to do?
 

[jmarroq]

I know this has been going on for a long time with pies in the face or dunk tanks, etc. It still seems pretty disrespectful, no matter what it is that they are humiliating the principal with. The whole tradition seems weird and disrespectful to me, and the duct tape is just too extreme. It is restricting her movement. There was a daycare worker arrested around her for taping a child's mouth shut. It is not something to joke around about. The Kaylee Anthony case was right here in our back yard, and she too had her mouth duct taped. I would say something about it making you uncomfortable...the fact that they are physically "tying her down". I am sure they can do some other prank (I like the the singing of the school song from the roof of the school) or she can dye her hair the school colors or something less creepy. 

Plus, my kids watch TV and all those horrible kid's channels like Disney, Nick and CN have shows that have kids disrespecting adults constantly...and then they put that bad laugh track behind it, so kids think it's funny to be mean to adults...they don't need to see that in real life too! 

[pek64]

Another great idea -- coloring her hair the school colors! Plenty of options.

[NiteNicole]

Originally Posted by jmarroq 

I know this has been going on for a long time with pies in the face or dunk tanks, etc. It still seems pretty disrespectful, no matter what it is that they are humiliating the principal with. The whole tradition seems weird and disrespectful to me, and the duct tape is just too extreme. It is restricting her movement. There was a daycare worker arrested around her for taping a child's mouth shut. It is not something to joke around about. The Kaylee Anthony case was right here in our back yard, and she too had her mouth duct taped. I would say something about it making you uncomfortable...the fact that they are physically "tying her down". I am sure they can do some other prank (I like the the singing of the school song from the roof of the school) or she can dye her hair the school colors or something less creepy. 

Plus, my kids watch TV and all those horrible kid's channels like Disney, Nick and CN have shows that have kids disrespecting adults constantly...and then they put that bad laugh track behind it, so kids think it's funny to be mean to adults...they don't need to see that in real life too! 

I think the point is that it's not supposed to be disrespectful, it's supposed to be fun.  It's supposed to show the principal or teacher is a good sport.  It's supposed to be like hey, the principal is not scary.  He/She has a good sense of humor and can laugh at herself.  It's such a switch from how we were supposed to view our principal when I was in school!  We were actively encouraged to be terrified of the man.  If the principal is willing to be a "good sport" for the sake of the school, it probably makes him/her a lot more approachable.  I'm not for or against it.  I just don't think it's all that deep.

I don't like those shows either, partly because it's such an us v. them mentality - parents are stupid, teachers are mean and stupid.  Gross is funny and it's funny to be mean.   We don't watch them.  And we talk about why we don't watch them. 

[erigeron]

Hmm, a lot of interesting points in this thread. It does seem to me that there are enough silly non-damaging things that could be done that something borderline-violent doesn't need to be chosen.

When I was in middle school, kids would put money in the teacher's jar and the teacher with the most money had to kiss a pig. Then in pharmacy school, same general idea, except you'd pay for a ticket and put it in the professor's jar and the professor with the most tickets would be pied, and if the ticket with your name on it was pulled you would get to hit them with the pie. (I think it was really whipped cream in a pie tin, or maybe shaving cream.) The only bummer about that was that only some professors would volunteer to participate and it was never the ones who you really WANTED to hit with a pie. lol. 

[LynnS6]

Is it any worse than having some of hte teachers shave their heads? Or the hands-free pie eating contest they're going to do at our school.

I get the concern with duct-tape over the mouth, but I think people are taking this far too seriously. They could just do away with that, and I'd be fine. It's the principal doing something silly to encourage the kids. Given the pressure that teachers, principals and kids can feel over school performance, having something to laugh about together is a good thing.

[Tigerle]

I actually think my 5yo first grader would not think it fun but be seriously upset.
And i do not think that it should be taught to kids that age that humiliating somene who is helpless is fun...its just different if it is an activity that the person who is making an ass out of herself can control and show she is enjoying, like the trycycle idea, thats just cute.
I am picturing now the principal openly showing how much she is enjoying being duct taped, including her mouth...
....and with that image printed indelibly inyour head, I'll bow out of this thread.
- runs off -

[AllisonR]

I find it disturbing, in the torture/humiliation vein. I don't think I would want my 5yo and 8yo to see it. Maybe I would feel differently if they were teens, maybe even pre-teens. Interesting to read all the different views. I'd really rather see the principle on a tricycle with a wig. 

[puddle]

OP again.  Last update.  The duct taping event actually occurred this week.  I'm not sure if this is how she did it in the past or not, but what she did this year was have the kids who met fund raising goals released from class for a few minutes at the end of the day, 1-2 grades at a time, to come stick their pieces of tape on her.  They filed past and added their tape and then went back to class.  Everything was cleaned up and put it away before school was dismissed, so only the kids participating ever saw anything.  I saw it from my car in the school pickup line.  I think what the kids were most excited about was getting to leave class for a few minutes.  They'd probably be a million times more motivated if she just let them leave class for a 10 minute snow cone party with the principal.  I think there are much better ways to show she's approachable than having them do something like this to her.  Like the way she wore an oversized football jersey and danced around with the kids at our school's family night out, also this week.  That was awesome, and I feel like that kind of thing goes a lot further with the elementary age group.  Anyway, it's over now and most of the kids never saw it or had anything to do with it, and it's unlikely to happen again at our school in the future.
 

[mtiger]

It really sounds as though they watered the whole thing down.

[CarrieMF]

Originally Posted by mtiger 

It really sounds as though they watered the whole thing down.

Or it was never originally as big of a deal as made out to be in this thread.

Our school has duct taped teachers(all volunteer) to the flagpole outside the school before as part of a goal for fundraising.  The last time they did it a male & female teacher were duct taped together on the pole.   The students watched them be taped up.  When they were done being taped & photos were taken for the yearbook & the local paper they were cut out.  It was not violent, they were not humiliated.  

In June at our family fun day there is always a dunk tank.  They also do a sponge throwing thing where the students stand behind a plywood knight and have their faces in the hole, the rest of their class throws the sponge at their face.  With both the dunk tank & the sponge only those who wish to go behind or in the tank do.  If they forced the kids to go in the tank or behind the plywood cutout I could see it being violent, but they don't.  Everyone has fun doing this.  This year at family fun day 2 of the teachers snuck up on the top of the school and started throwing water balloons towards the kids & parents.  Again everyone had fun.  

Nobody in the school takes these events and tries to do them to the classmates at other times.  They don't go around dunking kids when they are swimming for gym, they don't have random water balloons flying around, they don't go around duct taping kids to the walls.  

I don't see duct taping a teacher to the wall, dunk tanks, pie in the face events to be any more "violent" than dodge ball.

[pek64]

I HATED dodge ball! The boys always tried to hit the girls so hard it left marks! That "game" should be outlawed!

I imagine that comment will revive what should be a dying thread. After all, the event is over. Maybe I'll start a different thread about dodge ball.