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The other 'C' topic

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 

Hey ladies- Since so many of us are having boys (and first boys at that), I thought it may be a good time to bring up the 'other' C word.... Circumcision.....  I am glad that there are many experienced mamas of boys in this group too.  A more intimate place for questions and answers.  

 

DH and I decided before DD1 was born that we would not be circumcising any boys, so luckily, that topic has been discussed.  I am not really scared of the care, and luckily, our pediatrician is very intact friendly and won't try to retract at any appts. 

 

Is there any tips or advice from moms out there?

post #2 of 29

I'm glad you're not circ'ing. Honestly, having taken care of a number of baby penises, both circumcised and uncircumcised, I think it is easier to care for my son's uncirc'ed one. Clean it like a finger! Unfortunately, too many of my friends circ because, well, "everyone else does!"

post #3 of 29

I had my son when I was 16 and my own mom bullied me into circ'ing him.  The one parenting choice I regret the most.  I can't believe I let them do that to my son.  I wish it wasn't paid for by my insurance or I would never have done it.  It looked so painful for him, I won't go into the gory details unless someone wants them.  But it was GROSS and very painful looking, especially when trying to change his diapers.   They even missed a part and later wanted me to pull it apart.  I attempted it once and he SCREAMED!!!  So to this day at 15 he still has a small part of foreskin.   It was awful.
 

 

I have one piece of advice to all mothers.

 

DON'T DO IT! i don't think it matters what religion you believe in I think it's wrong to do it.  Your son will thank you when he's older.

post #4 of 29

my 4 yr old is intact and i can't think of anything in the way of tips - i'm very happy with our decision to leave his foreskin alone!

post #5 of 29
I'll just say that I straight up cannot think of a single good reason for a person to be circumcised. I think all the arguments for it are total bunk (and a lt of them are also really weird) and its probably one of the only parenting choice I find difficult to be objective/respectful about because it just seems like such a shitty thing to do to a person without their consent.


needless to say, no son of mine will have it done unless they choose to as an adult.
post #6 of 29

My advice is basically leave it alone. They are self-cleaning. I just soap my son up in the tub and that's it. (I soap the the external parts, no retracting). Both of my boys are intact and I wouldn't do it any other way.

post #7 of 29

This was the only reason I was apprehensive about having a boy. I KNEW that DH would would to circ him. The day we found out the news I broached the subject, and his response was "it's a no brainer!" At first I was glad, thinking he agreed, but then he said "Of COURSE we'll circumsize him." We got into a debate about it, which caused him to get upset and tell me I was "ruining the day."

 

I left it alone for a day, but then we had a less confrontational discussion about it where I just tried to impart information without seeming to come out and say "your opinion is just wrong." (even though that's how I felt). 

 

A couple of days later, we dove into the subject again, and while it's resolved to my satisfaction -- we agreed to leave our son intact -- I still feel a little badly about the discussion, because in the end I didn't really convince him so much as tell him he had no say in the matter. I think that he'll come around though, and it won't be a big issue in the future, unless DS turns out to be one of the few who has complications as a child and ends up having to be circimsized later on.

post #8 of 29

we have 2 intact boys (3 in February!), and let me tell you we got a LOT of flak from our families about it.. However I am SO glad we chose to keep them whole! As far as care, you don't have to do ANYTHING to them. Easy Peasy. Of course, once they are retractable (neither of mine are yet) and they go through puberty, they need to pull back and rinse underneath, but that's all.

post #9 of 29
My ds is intact too. I have read so many stories where women have to.fight with the dad about it and i am so thankful that my dh didn't care one way.or the other. It has surprised me how nobody has said anything about it (i was expecting criticism.from dh's family).
post #10 of 29

my fiance and i decided before we even knew we were pregnant that we would not be circ'ing our son if we do have a boy. we both believe that it is just wrong.

post #11 of 29

We decided before we had kids, that if we had a boy that it he would stay intact as God had attended. We have a 4 year old son - as PP mentioned - just leave it alone. Please be careful at the ped office though - I've had to karate chop a ped's hand when he tried to retact my son as a newborn. I've learned from that experience and flat out tell every ped that they are not to retract (or touch!).

post #12 of 29

Both of my boys are intact. I did some reading about it before having our first and decided against it. DH is intact which helped with the decision-- and thank you to my MIL for thinking the practice is pointless and barbaric! Glad all you mamas feel the same.

post #13 of 29

Akemi, my DH was originally where yours is.  I had started researching the subject 2 years before our son was born because I had read where a friend of mine got very passionate in a thread about keeping babies intact and I had no idea anyone did that.  After doing my research, I brought the subject up and got the same response you did.  So I asked him why he thought that.  Item by item, I gently re-educated him.  Then I asked him to watch a circ on youtube.  He declined, but I think he did later when I wasn't around.  It took time, patience and gently correcting all the misinformation he'd been taught about circing, but by the time I was pregnant with our son, we were both committed to protecting our son and keeping him intact.  He's even a little bit of an intactivist now, correcting his friends misinformation on the subject.  Give it time, be gentle but informative in your approach.  Provide places he can read for himself, watch for himself.  It's a hard thing for men to come to terms with, since most of our hubby's are victims of circumcision themselves. 
 

post #14 of 29

We'll be leaving a son intact for sure. Hubby I think feels butchered by the hack job done on him as a baby. He'd never let someone do that to his own son. 

post #15 of 29

My first two are circed, and my last two are not. The first two both had problems with the skin healing onto the wound wrong, and I had to keep tearing it back so it wouldn't heal funny. My sister's little 9mo is still having issues with that same thing.

My last two I decided not to. They have had no problems, and I don't do anything other than let them have fun playing in the tub. I hardly ever even use soap on them unless they are filthy from running around barefoot, and the dirt isn't off by the time they are done playing in the tub. I don't do anything with their little privates. 

post #16 of 29

only have one boy, our first child, and when we had the discussion, my husband was leaning towards circing- but when the midwife asked him he was adamant that he didn't want to do that.  when our son was born, we both had our first glimpse of an uncut penis and both were like "and what part do you choose to chop off?  and why?"  

 

my pedi DID retract it at visits (though i never thought it should be necessary and never did it at home) and it was fine, but one time my son retracted it and fell asleep..... it was very swollen (ah, boys and toys) but i helped ease it down w/ some oil and it recovered quickly.  that's about the only issue in almost 7 years.  

 

i've had 3 different friends who have had complicated circ's on their newborn boys.  some have had them redone, and some just have chronic problems.  if i have another son, he will remain intact.  i'm always kinda baffled at the thoughts behind 'it's hard to keep clean' and other sanitary reasons to circ as i have 3 little girls and a 'girl' (that's what my kids have dubbed the collective female genitalia) and it's WAY more complicated then that little flap of flesh on my son!  

post #17 of 29

I have a DD who's older and I'm pregnant now, but not sure what we are having yet (finding out Oct 15th at 21 weeks if baby participates). Part of me hopes to have a boy so I can choose not to circumsize. In my area, there are so very few uncut men. All the men in my family and my husband's family is cut. We want to hopefully educate any family or friends when they find out we don't circumsize (if it's a boy). I've done tons and tons of research on it and I can't find one really good reason to do it. I honestly see it as popular cultural genital mutilation. I'm sorry if that offends. I don't judge anyone who chooses to do otherwise. I can only make my own choices based on my own research with my own best choice.

post #18 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by yummymummy2hannah View Post

I honestly see it as popular cultural genital mutilation.

that is how we feel too.

post #19 of 29

I have two boys and they are both circed. If I could change it now I would. If we have another one I do not want to circumsize this time around.

post #20 of 29
Thread Starter 

I was hoping to open this up to anyone having a boy and questioning..... Seems like our group is pretty Anti-Circ, which is great, but any new mommies or mommies of boys for the first time wondering about circumcision?  This just seems like a much more intimate place to ask questions than the big group on the main page.  

 

Anyways, no-one out there with questions?

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