Telling a friend your kids shouldnt play...

[micah_mae_]

How do you tell a friend her kids behavior is affecting your kids and you don't want to let your boys hang out as much? We are close, both boys have autism and hers also has odd and is very aggressive, loud and hyper. C has started biting, pushing and screaming..all which is new and gets worse right after seeing this kid. They are always supervised 100%.
Also they claim to be best friends but fight constantly. Dh has asked why I bother trying because they fight so much.

[kathymuggle]

I don't think you have to say much.

I would try an arrange adults only outings, or, go on an outing but leave your DS at home. Try and arrange coffee, etc, when someone can watch your kid. Phones and emails are really great ways to stay in contact (although I know they are not the same).

If she does want to do playdates, I would just be honest, but non-accusatory.  "Ds and your Ds fight too much - we have decided to skip playdates for now."

Unless she is in complete denial, she knows her son is overly aggressive.  You don't have to have a heart-to-heart with her, you just have to keep your child safe.

[emerald22]

If you are good friends, I would just tell her. As a mom to a 7yo with ODD, I wouldn't be offended, I would completely understand! It's tough to hear that your kid is so bad that someone doesn't want their child to play with him, but it is completely understandable.