finding time to ENJOY life...

[chiromama01]

how do you guys do it? how do you work, cook, clean, and still find time to enjoy your life?  like really enjoy? playtime with the kids when you're not struggling to stay awake? outings that dont involve errands? one on one time with your DP? I'm really struggling to find time to enjoy my life, so I was just wondering if any of you have suggestions for me? 

thanks in advance!

[Skippy918]

I'm trying to figure out the same thing. I can't fathom the thought of working for the next 30 years and going through the same routine day after day. Fun just seems so far off.

[Ragana]

I think I need to make a list of the fun things I want to do. When I'm busy I come up with great stuff I want to do (crafts, kid stuff, recipes to make, etc.) and file it away in my mind, but then when I actually have downtime, I sort of blank and end up just surfing the Internet or something. Err, like now.
 

I think part of it is the "never-ending to-do list." I always feel like I should be cleaning or crossing off one more thing instead of just relaxing, reading a book or whatever.

[lauren]

Honestly the only way I come close is to listen to flylady's advice because she reminds and insists on down time and fun and otherwise I would 'forget!!'
 

[chiromama01]

The good news is we actually had friends over for a bar b que this weekend. The bad news? I took the time to enjoy the bar b que and didn't manage to get groceries for the week. Looks like it will be a week of scrambled eggs and who knows what for dinner!

[liberal_chick]

I neglect the house during the week, basically.  Dh is great about taking the boys to the park after work when I work late, which they love.  We go on the weekends when we can.  But, really, a lot of our fun is done at the expense of quality meals and a clean house.  I find that if I clean the house in a major way on Sundays, it doesn't really turn into a sty until sometime Friday or Saturday.

[*bejeweled*]

Every week I:
*go to the barn with DD. Total downtime.
*go swimming. Total relaxation.
*read a lot. Escapism.
*walk. Clears my mind.
*take time to be myself. Critical.

We also go out to the movies and dinner when we can afford to.

[*bejeweled*]

I'd suggest making a list of the things that you enjoy doing. And then listing what is free and what costs $. That way you can always refer to it.

[crunchymomofmany]

Hi! I noticed that your kids are really young. First off, I know it's hard and really boring sometimes, but they really will only be this young once. I swear - it does get better as they get a little more independent. When I had my two oldest - 14 months apart - there wasn't even Internet! Yes, I'm that old, my oldest was born in 92. I WAS SO BORED and tired and sick of looking at my little apartment. I started going for walks every afternoon with a friend and that helped get us out and about. I would suggest, if you can, getting a few books from the library and throwing yourself into a hobby you've wanted to try. You may not be able to do anything but read about it for a while, but it gets your brain out of the constant dishes, nursing, laundry, dishes, nursing cycle for a bit. I'm not sure what kinds of errands/housework you have, but usually if the toilet's clean, we have a few dishes to eat off of and the baby isn't eating 3 day old cheerios off the floor, we're happy.:-) Don't feel bad about napping in the middle of the day with the kids. I used to save errands for Saturday and we would do them as a family, stopping at a park and going out to lunch if we could - to make a day of it. That way I didn't have to worry about that all week. Remember to smile - even when you're doing the dishes. The Zen practice of smiling even when doing hard work actually works and pays off. I know it sounds silly. The key to enjoying your life is to enjoying what you have...and the time of life you are in. Good luck!

[chiromama01]

Thank you all for your responses. I appreciate each one so much. I have started taking Pilates again, just 2x a week, but it's something i love, and it brings me joy. I'm so excited for that. I am learning to let go of the household stuff, as we really just need to enjoy our family. Dh and I both work, and are longing for. A little more fun time. I'm am going to make a list of priorities and stick to it. I am working on letting go of the rest...thanks for listening and keep the suggestions coming!

[avismama24]

sorry fpr all lowercase letters, typing and holding the babe ;)

personally, i think the key to enjoying life...being happy, is simply to find joy in the little things and that may mean, at the grocery store ;) i am a mother to my 10 month old son, who was born 3 months early, i lived at the icu for 70 days, so that helps keep things in perspective. i work 4 days a week( my son comes with me), have two tween step-children and do all of the housework, cleaning, shopping, cooking etc because my hubby travels a lot and works 12 hour days, and yet honestly i am pretty joyful.

my tricks:

exercise daily ( for me this us walking or running with my son) thus keeps me happy and upbeat

have an organized house and minimal "stuff" (it is so much easier to keep clean)

enjoy family meals and cook if you like too, but dont if you dont ( sounds simple, but if you hate doing something see if you can eliminate or reduce it, this is how i feel about laundry so my solution is only doing it one day a week, what gets clean is what gets clean, and then i dont worry about it for the rest of the week )

once a day do something fun instead of a chore, like leave the dishes in the sink and instead lie on the floor with your kids and be silly, etc. when you go back to the chore you will approach it with way more joy

have sex with your partner, seriously, everyone in your whole house will be happier, lighter, and more joyful :)

[JohnnyM]

I work 54 hrs a day and am unable to save a single penny for myself.. or even for something that i like.. am too deep stuck with credit cards and all so. :( wish me luck

[lauren]

Originally Posted by JohnnyM 

I work 54 hrs a day and am unable to save a single penny for myself.. or even for something that i like.. am too deep stuck with credit cards and all so. :( wish me luck

Wow, 54 hours a day!! I know you meant week.

Luck to you!

[Nighthawk1958]

Hi Everyone:

This is my first post since joining.  Take it from a 54 year old Grandma of 5 who has worked in the fast paced construction industry for 35+ years; this is not a dress rehersal - you get one shot and one shot only at life.  Take the time for yourself and your family - before you know it they will be grown and gone. Tthe Gucci bags, new cars and "keeping up with the Joneses" are not important - being HAPPY and making memories that will last your childrens' lifetimes is!

Too often, we get suckered into putting in 60+ hour weeks, thinking - "a bigger raise, more recognition etc"  NOT - the bottom line is - you get the headaches, they buy the aspirin. 

I am on my second week of "stress leave" - totally fried.  Have started doing Yoga, and am trying to learn meditation, to rediscover my "authentic self".

anyone else been there done that?

[Buddhamom]

I can relate a little.  I am 42 and my babes range from 23 YEARS to 15 MONTHS.  I have been doing this a long time and it is hard especially since my last was not planned as we were told 8 yr. previous after infertility treatments that we couldn't get pregnant. Add that and the fact that this one nurses ALL day and ALL night makes it hard for DH and I to get away where as before we went on weekend trips a lot. I just keep telling myself it is a blink in my life and she will wean someday.  I mean my daughter's did go off to college without nursing

[thefragile7393]

I am still trying to find this balance.  I have a lot of my plate with no partner....I honestly can't remember when I enjoyed much of anything.
 

[*bejeweled*]

Hi Nighthawk, welcome to MDC. Your post rang so true. I know that if we don't listen to our bodies and put ourselves first, our bodies will take the rest that they need. I'm learning to put myself first so that I don't end up sick again. I learned my lesson.

I do a lot of walking and journaling to stay in touch with my self. I also take time to be alone every single day. When I do start working, it will be part-time. I burned myself out working too much and being a caregiver. N e v e r a g a i n. I have learned to prioritize and live with less .

Originally Posted by Nighthawk1958 

Hi Everyone:

This is my first post since joining.  Take it from a 54 year old Grandma of 5 who has worked in the fast paced construction industry for 35+ years; this is not a dress rehersal - you get one shot and one shot only at life.  Take the time for yourself and your family - before you know it they will be grown and gone. Tthe Gucci bags, new cars and "keeping up with the Joneses" are not important - being HAPPY and making memories that will last your childrens' lifetimes is!
Too often, we get suckered into putting in 60+ hour weeks, thinking - "a bigger raise, more recognition etc"  NOT - the bottom line is - you get the headaches, they buy the aspirin. 
I am on my second week of "stress leave" - totally fried.  Have started doing Yoga, and am trying to learn meditation, to rediscover my "authentic self".
anyone else been there done that?

[seraf]

My house is a wreck. I'm home more than I work, but life is busy and kids grow so fast. When the babies are awake, it takes about 5 minutes to spread toys from one end of the house to the other. We have a couple of baskets that we throw the toys in when they make us batty. I do many of the household chores after bedtime. I drink coffee.

The first day off, I need a morning at home to collect myself. We can do fun things after that.

I really enjoy my life. I work as little as I can get away with because I work end of life and I have spent years listening to people talk of their regrets. It's not the money they remember. It's the time they didn't spend with their families.

[puffingirl]

It is hard to balance it all.  One thing that helps us is having someone come in to clean once a month.  We still have plenty of cleaning to do on a regular basis, but know that everything is going to be scrubbed, dusted and mopped once a month frees up some time for us as a family.  That half-day then gets spent doing something fun--going to the pumpkin patch, going to the movies, whatever.  When things were really super busy, we had our groceries delivered from Peapod every week.  The delivery charge was $6 and it took my grocery time from 2 hours to about 20 minutes.  That hour and a half saved was then available for us to do more as a family.  As DD gets older, I'm getting better at letting stuff go.  If I've planned something that takes a while to make for dinner but it's a lovely day and she wants to bike to the park before dinner, we go to the park and eat sandwiches or leftovers and then I make the more time intensive thing the next night. I figure I've got my whole life to eat whatever I want for dinner but there are only so many years of biking to the park and pushing her on the swings.  

[RockStarMom]

Originally Posted by Ragana 

I think part of it is the "never-ending to-do list." I always feel like I should be cleaning or crossing off one more thing instead of just relaxing, reading a book or whatever.

Yes, I know this feeling all too well.  It really distracts me when I'm trying so hard to focus on enjoying time with my daughter.  I honestly have to really force myself to focus...put on nice music, tell her it's our special time together and ask her what she wants to do and just try to avoid letting my mind wander to all the things I have to do.  It's a daily struggle.  Sometimes we'll come home and the house is a disaster, she's hungry, and I have a million things to do and I'll just turn the TV on for her and try to tackle the house and things to do.  And then I feel so guilty later.  It really is hard finding a balance.