Originally Posted by Quinalla
Ugh, sorry that would piss me off too! Plans sometimes have to change because of pregnancy, honestly as it becomes more real for him I bet he won't want to leave you alone. And I know in my last pregnancy, the hormones just amplified emotions, sometimes to a ridiculous amount, but still, they don't create the emotions
I think you are dead-on, and I worry about being too hormonal sometimes. Later he will see the justification and recognize it, at least, that's the pattern. But the only long term planning we have done...ok, we have done a considerable amount of long term planning and logistics (3 major moves, one across the US, one to Japan, and of course the impending move back). The twist here is that we will have a newborn at the end of it, not a new place to live, which is a lot different!
Originally Posted by nstewart
This is your DHs first child, right? To be honest, I'm not shocked that he "doesn't get it" at this point. He doesn't have a frame of reference, and doesn't understand what 7 months pregnant looks/ feels like.
Yes, his first child, and he was an only child growing up. He was also single until he was 39, never even engaged. So he really has no clue. I'm not surprised either, and usually what he doesn't understand now, he will understand soon. He is an empathetic person most of the time. He did not understand my constant rheumatoid pain at first, but now he gets it when he sees the difference in a good day and a bad day. I'm just impatient because I don't want to wait 5 months for understanding. I don't think it's real to him yet, at least no where near as real as it is to me! I also recognize that if this pregnancy is too hard on either of us, it will be our last. And I am not ready to make that call just yet. So I am trying to be careful.
So I wonder if it would help for you to somehow "show" him what 7 months pregnant is like and why it would be so taxing on you? Maybe some type of documentary or even reading the weeks in 7 months in one of those week by week books together? Something like that might make him understand that "Look, I'm not trying to mess with your plans or be unreasonable, but you have to understand that my body is making a human being and that takes a lot of work and by 7 months pregnant my body just won't be working the same way it is now" kind of thing?
That is actually a really good idea. There was a documentary on Netflix about pregnancy and birth that we wanted to watch but were too afraid to get excited. Maybe we can watch that! We usually have about 1 hour at bedtime of tv together some nights and that's all the tv we watch and it's usually not a regular thing.
What about having a friend or family member come and stay with you? Is anyone planning to visit before you move who could coordinate your visit so that they are visiting while DH is away?
Hrm, well, we have debated about bring my mom out to Japan for a bit while he is gone or bringing her with us to Singapore after the birth. The problem is my mom is notorious for being lazy. And if I'm going to pay for someone's entire plane ticket and stay, I want someone who is actually going to help me not cause more stress! She means well, but then gets tired... I am racking my brain for anyone else I could think of who would be nominally helpful and would appreciate a trip to Japan but most people have obligations they don't want to stop. There is one male friend who really wants to visit Japan. He's a friend of both DH and me. That is a possibility if DH has to return to the US in February.
Originally Posted by TwilightJoy
I hope you and your hubby can work through it.
I've been dealing with hormonal anger as well. I've been overreacting to minor things and being mean to DH when he doesn't deserve it.
Thanks TwilightJoy It's good to know I'm not the only one!