Woe is me! I just typed a full response and accidentally navigated away from it...I will restart *buckling on belt of determination*
"My understanding is that you and your partner have very deeply held spiritual and philosophical beliefs about the world and your/our place in it. These beliefs sound fairly radical so I hope you will forgive those that don't completely buy into it. There are many extreme philosophies being touted now, more than ever before and those of us that have been in the world a while have also seen them come and go."
Are you referring to climate science as an "extreme philosophy"? Certainly the fossil fuel industries and their well-paid denialists will agree with you on that. Yet, are you suggesting I am trying to sell something? That I am hoping to get anyone to "buy into" something? Sister, I have nothing to gain by climate change and everything to lose, same as you.
You posted in the Adoptive/Foster Parenting forum. These mamas have a lot of experience with all sides of the triad. They do get how challenging this is, and how challenging the scenario you have laid out would be.
*nod*, that is why I posted here.
"Perhaps not for you. As your post indicates, attachment is not something that you are striving for with your intimates. Perhaps it is even something you are avoiding based on your spiritual path.
However, babies are wired for attachment. Scientifically, all the neuroscience you will read about babies and attachment will point you to the scientific fact that babies do not adjust as easily as you think to your proposed arrangement. And so if you take science seriously, you need to take attachment science seriously, as well as climate science. Don't just take the word of these experienced mamas --do your research."
Here we have some clouds of assumption casting confusing shade on our conversation. As with many words in our language, the word "attachement" has more than one definition. Usually, at MDC and such places we're using the word "attachment" when we refer to attachment parenting...the important bond between mother and infant, which, we intend, will be instilled and will grow up with our children...keeping the love and trust alive in them and affirming their own sense of security and well-being. In the way you are using this word, I will not strive to maintain attachment to this child, if it is being raised by another family. If an arrangement were to involve a span of time during which I help nourish the baby, there would be more ambiguity here...it would be a dance of attachment which the adoptive mother would be opting to involve me in, and I would gracefully disengage at whichever time was asked of me by the child's mother. If we raise the child, we will establish an attachment through breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, etc. same as I have with my other children.
There is another use of the word "attachment" in the world of personal growth. Many different paths, religions, teachers and practicioners/growers use this word to refer to an experience of being psychologically stuck on one story or strategy for how something is or was supposed to work...how one's ex-husband should have behaved...how families are supposed to look...how I'm supposed to appear to others. The understanding extends further, that these ideas always lead to suffering, because ultimately, all things come to an end, the only constant is change, etc. It is understood that we experience suffering to the degree by which we maintain "attachment".
I think if you are not prepared to parent this vulnerable human, created without forethought despite your worldview of impending catastrophe, then you likely should find a great adoption agency and begin pursuing the finding of a compatible minded pre-adoptive family unit as quickly as possible.
For what is may be worth to you, or others reading this thread, we did not create this child in the midst of our understanding of current climate science. Rather, when I was five or six weeks pregnant, I read Bill McKibben's article http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/global-warmings-terrifying-new-math-20120719 . That was the first time that I began to grasp the urgent new timelines which are being presented by the climate scientists. Since that time, my family has been reading everything we can find on the subject, deepening our understanding. All the while, the debate rolled along about whether or not we "should" abort. We didn't want an abortion, we didn't feel that we could, with absolute clarity, end the early life of this being who has been so determined to join us, humanity, on this side of physical form. Our default plan is that we will parent this child, joyfully, as I have said...yet, we feel also that we may be carrying this child for another joyful family, and in that case, it is my duty to seek them out, or at least make it known that this baby is coming...so that the mother or family might seek out us.
I am very interested to obtain references for "a terrific adoption agency"...that would be helpful...this is the kind of suggestion I'm soliciting by this thread.