No one is judging when they say that you may not want to look at open adoption. The ideal that you are describing, is one that as a member of the so-called open adoption world, does not exist. You should look at the laws in your state because many open adoption agreements are not legally enforcable, so you could wind up with adoptive families who think you are batsh!t crazy for what you are suggesting, but desire that baby, and decide to pull the rug out within 2 years of adoption. It happens more than you think.
Adoption is not rainbows and butterflies. Separating yourself from your child is traumatic, especially in the situation you are describing too. I'm a birthmother 10 years out and I have PTSD, anxiety issues and have to deal with the emotional ramificaitons of my adoption still. It's a never ending, not at all as easy as you are describing it, process.
My suggestion? Wait until you are further along. Feel it out then. Read about adoption from all perspectives, the good, the bad and the ugly before creating this, from my experience, unrealistic ideal of adoption. Adoption is tough, it's a hard road, and it's not at all as it's perceived in our society. It's grueling, and heartbreaking, it's traumatic- and as a Mama who is attachment based, youshould know in all cases, the best place for the baby is with his or her mother. Always.
Good luck to you, but don't mistake real life experiences as judgment. Consider them more of a warning- and our voices are one of many who have been slighted by the adoption system.
I am a birth mother (13 yrs ago this Nov) also. I could have written the exact post that Teale wrote. The PTSD is very real.
Lastly, remember that you don't have to make this decision during pregnancy. Although many people do the adoption at birth, for you it might make sense to adopt your child out at age 6 months or so. It's up to you; there are lots of options.
From what I read, I agree with Marsupial mama that you aren't 100% on board with adoption. If that's the case I don't think you should place this child. However, I would suggest Catholic Social Services open adoption if you want to explore it a little more. I am an atheist so I have no bias with that suggestion. You may also want to contact someone at The Farm in TN. They may have some suggestions such as fostering the baby in their community while you decide what to do.
Additionally, I am a geologist. I have studied past and current climate change extensively. My current research projects include how to mitigate GHG effects on the atmosphere and the influence of climate change on the evolution of Hominins in East Africa. If you want to be taken seriously you have to stop quoting articles in Rolling Stone. The climate is changing. This is not disputed. However I think you may not be quite accurate with the timescale or the predicted impact. Also our species is great at adaptation.