My mom is anxious about my homebirth

[mamadeisaac]

Hello ladies,

I rarely post but I really need help, I am due on March, I am expecting baby#2, my son will be 4 in a couple of weeks and we are preparing him to be present during my homebirth if that works out for both of us, but I still need someone to be in charge of taking care of him in case he can't be in the room or needs help with food or going to bed. So my mom is the person I have in mind but I just told her recently about my plan of having a home birth, she is still processing it and I can tell how anxious she is about it. She does not live in the US and doesn't speak english which makes it even harder for me to provide her with good info, but I need her to be there with my son and I don't know if her anxiety will make things harder on all of us, I really don't have anybody else I would feel comfortable asking to be there for that, I have friends who probably would have been willing to watch him at their homes but that is not what I want so I feel at a loss...

[fruitfulmomma]

You might try posting on Midwifery Today's fb page and see if you can connect with someone from her country who could direct you to resources in her language. Or there is also the tribe boards here.

[fayebond]

Just another perspective...

My mom has been to three homebirths of her daughters now, and she's still anxious about it.  She once said, 

"For your mother in law, she just gets to meet her son's grandbaby, like Christmas.  For your mother, she gets to watch her daugheter go through pain, and  its not Christmas until the baby is at least a week old and she knows her daughters is going to be safe."  Its harder on your mom than just homebirth versus another choice, is all I'm saying.  Mine is not big on homebirth at all, and even though she supports me, she gets nervous about all of it.  :)  I thought she might be a good doula becaue she's so critical of medical thigs, but when it comes to my birth, all she can think about is "is my duaghter safe?" , and she becomes a veritable bobblehead!  She just loves me too much to be objective about this, maybe your mom is the same.  

[JamieCatheryn]

If your home is big enough or it's nice outside you don't have to see her much even if she is off on the other end of the house worrying. So long as the worry isn't bad enough for her to call 911 just because you hit transition. At least that's what I'm telling myself as I consider my (loving but generally neurotic) MiL to come watch my kids.