Will you have more or is this it? « Back to Group Discussions

[itsybistyspider]

Ursa is cruising and i feel like this is all going so fast... and every once in a while i get this feel like "Is this it? Is it over?". I feel a bit sad that she isnt a newborn any more, and my old dd seems so grown up now...

I have no idea if I will have more babies  Part of me says go for it and part of me just feels so blessed with these two and maybe I should just focus on them. 

So what do you think- is this your last? Maybe more? How do you decide? 

[chiromama01]

Never say never, but I'm pretty sure this is it for us. We are happy as a family of four, and I honestly have no idea how we would keep up with another child. I am sad too though to see each milestone pass so quickly and to know that this is probably the last one for us. But, we are content, so it also sort of feels good to be able to focus on these two kids and a little on me...like getting back in shape and all. It's also liberating, in the sense that I'm not holding on to clothes or baby gadgets like I did after dd, so every few weeks I can clear out just a little more clutter from the house...and that feels good.

[CarlyVHT]

The plan is that we are done. Right now I am okay with it, though there is something so precious about pregnancy & birth & newborns that I may always long for that a little bit.

Our decision is based almost purely on finances. We just don't feel like we could adequetly provide for a larger family the way we want to (vacations, paying for college, etc). Having a 3rd would require a larger house (which we can't currently afford in this town), bigger cars, etc. So, it's just not the responsible choice for us.

If we had gobs of money, we'd probably still be in the undecided phase right now, but we'd definitely be open to more down the line.

[tarabelle]

rosebud is only our first, so we will definitely have more. I'm only 26 so we're in no hurry, we'll take our time growing our family but in the end I would love to have three.

[kaismum]

Nora will be our last baby unless some tricky soul takes up residence in my womb. We were feeling done right before we found out that I was pregnant last year. I feel a little sad about never being pregnant, birthing or having a new born again but I am confident that it is not my wish to bring another human into the world. Firsts and lasts are sweeter and more sad this time for sure though.

[Thursday Girl]

I am probably done. 4 is a lot to handle especially with Hubs working ALL THE TIME. I feel like I can't give the kids the individual attention they need often enough. Plus we are totally broke and I will not have another kid in this financial position again, you know unless something crazy happens. The funny thing is after Juniper I felt done and was totally at peace with that. Now I just don't know, I am keeping myself open to the idea in like 6-9 years.

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

I am SO done. Between prenatal and postnatal depression this time around and severe morning sickness and SPD last time, I can't deny that me and pregnancy don't get along. I also noticed that something in my head shifts around 6 months postpartum and both times now I've gone from "ugh, I have to deal with the baby again" to "Yay! I love my baby!" almost overnight. I'm at that transition now and it's wonderful. I love waking up and loving my life, I love adoring my children, I love that things are finally getting easier. There is no way I'm signing up for another 15 months of despising my life. No way no how. DONE. 

[RosieL]

I hope when I'm done I know it as clearly as you do! Sorry for the reasons, but it's nice to be sure.

[moss]

if pregnancy was easier, i'd want more.  i'm prone to hyperemesis and it was so much better this time with lc'ing, etc but still not easy.  

[lalazap]

Ashley, so glad to hear your update! I was thinking about you the other day and wondering how you were - I'm happy to hear you are coming out the other side of those rough few months.

As for me - this is my first and my last. It took a fair bit of convincing to get my DP to agree to start all over with a new baby when his son was already 9 and one of his terms was 'just one'. For the most part I feel okay with that. It's awesome and amazing to be here for this little girl as she grows, but honestly at least once a day I think 'wow, people actually want to do this all over again? not me ...' Happily she has a sibling who adores her, so that piece is taken care of. I imagine that at some point I will look back with nostalgia and think I'd like to have another little squish, but right now I almost feel relieved that it is not our plan to have any more.

I am sad that my birth experience - homebirth transfer and unplanned C/S - is the only birth experience I will have. I wish I could have an awesome healing VBAC.

[Ravensong13]

We're waiting at least six years. I'm for sure not having any more until dh and I get our issues worked out. This past year has been super hard on us and I want to knwo that we are solid for sure before I even give it a thought. Plus I'm planning on going back to school next fall to become a cpm and I want to spend a few years helping other women birth their babies first!

[daylicious]

I was practically shouting from the mountaintop that I would. Never. Do. That. Again. after the birth I had. Posterior babe, 4+ hours of pushing, retained placenta, emergency transfer, hemorrhage. Not to mention HORRIBLE postpartum hemorrhoids and anemia. Now I'm like "that wasn't so bad!" "Let's do it again!"
I would like 3 total. DH thinks 2 tops.

[flavorfull1]

Ashley so glad you arr feeling bettr. Things sounded so rough! We are going to adopt our next two kids and i don't feel do e being pg or birthing but we will see if ifeel like being pg w four kids. My pg labor and birth were pretty great minus the 14 wks of ms so if i am done birhing, it was the best it could be. I come from a family of fiv kids and both dh and i are committed to four and then keeping it open if we want.

[wendybird]

I think we will probably have more. We won't be preventing, and I have gone longer and longer between babes and may not reach a fertile point for two or more years, but I think there is another child waiting to come to us. The thought makes me very happy, although in some ways I am tired and want to do fun things like go on a cruise, or backpack in the PNW...things that would be easier without a wee child in tow. Then I argue internally about what would be the better experience and a new person always wins out. The kids are absolutely set that they want more siblings(not that that has anything to do with my decision lol) and it makes me feel pretty good that they do not ever feel like they are missing out in anyway because of our large family.

[RosieL]

Originally Posted by wendybird 
Then I argue internally about what would be the better experience and a new person always wins out. 

Wendy, I think a lot about family size. My parents and most of my family have two, and are very much insistent that two is the "right" number if you want to travel and do other far-ranging activities as a family. I have always thought that the argument makes sense. It's a lot harder to travel with 5,6,7 or more than 4. However, I have never thought of it the way you have put it above. The reason we travel is to have and make memories and experiences. The *experience* of a new person is what is to be compared to the potential of travel and such. And you're right, I think the new person would win out! 

It'll be interesting to see where we are in three or four years. :)