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Mothering › Groups › April 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Belly growing, self esteem shrinking...

Belly growing, self esteem shrinking...

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
Without sounding vain or selfish, I feel very very low about my body during all these changes. I did not plan on getting pregnant. My oops, my bad. At 14 weeks, I feel really gross.

I have always had a slender and athletic body, until age 21 when I went through some tough times and gained, a lot. Going from 125lbs to 200lbs in just 2 years was horribly traumatic. Finally after having enough, I worked hard and lost it all. Backing down to my comfortable 125-135 range. I've maintained this body for the last 7 Year's and enjoyed my energetic, healthy lifestyle.

Now, I weigh 143'ish give or take some water weight at 14 weeks and feel like I'm losing control again. Nothing fits me. I feel enormous. And my self esteem, confidence, and even social life has plummeted. I remember what it felt, at each pound gained, and each pound lost.

I know I'm traumatized and fearful of getting "fat" again. But I can't be alone. Someone somewhere out there must feel this too?

Dreading this. I, selfishly, don't want to gain another pound. How are the rest of you moving through these feelings?

Oh, and what the heck happened to my pretty skin!?? It's like an acne factory on my face and only getting worse. Im doing everything to help short of taking meds.

This is just cruel.
post #2 of 7

I'm sorry for what you're going through. hug2.gif

Though I can't totally relate, I know how it feels to feel kinda crappy during pregnancy, a time when you feel you're supposed be happy and excited the whole time.

Even if it wasn't a planned pregnancy (mine wasn't either) you've chosen a great gift to keep the baby and it's very important for your body to change and gain weight to nourish the baby.  I would definitely definitely talk with your healthcare provider about your concerns and they can help you decide what's the right range of weight gain to aim for for you personally, so you don't feel like it's just spiraling out of control.  I felt very paranoid about gaining weight with my previous pregnancies too, so I relied on my healthcare provider's goal, and I would use my monthly appointments where my weight was taken to gauge how I needed to alter my activity and eating each month to stay on track.  I also got my scale out of my house so I didn't obsess on a daily basis.

Have you told others around you that you're pregnant? I think sometimes that helps, and you won't feel like you need to hide the inevitable changes your body's going through.  It may make the pregnancy feel more real and hopefully you'll find some positive support around you.

It's just really important to embrace the fact that your body will/needs to change and grow in the coming months, and try to save the worries for losing weight and having the perfect figure for postpartum. Easier said than done!

take care


oh- and my skin is horrid too! It's very common.  No pregnancy glow here! It's recommended to stay away from salicylic acid too, which is not helping my efforts to clear it up.

post #3 of 7

Oliver's Mama said it beautifully.


During my last pregnancy I was so mad about losing my body. I just wanted it back. I was excited about the life within it, but not about the changes my body was going through. I didn't want to feel frumpy and I didn't want to gain the weight either. Thankfully I had a lot of support to deal with it. Make sure you have a good strong support system. One that you can be blatantly honest with about how you feel. This time around I am wanting to make sure I have a healthy pregnancy. I do worry about gaining too much because I have in the past. But I'm doing a better job of staying active and eating healthier. It helps that I have a weight gain goal and I've broken it down to what would be healthy to gain each week and again, I have a great support system. Adjust my attitude and being accepting of the changes that are happening and why they are happening has helped me too.


hug2.gifYou aren't alone.

post #4 of 7
I get it. I was still trying to lose weight (knowing I only had until I got pregnant). I had *just* made it back to a healthy BMI and was about 5-10 pounds away from my goal when I got my BFP. Now, not only is dieting a no-no, the exhaustion has killed my healthy eating and exercise habits. So not only am I stressed about weight gain, but I'm not getting those lovely endorphins and stuff. It's a bad combination.

I'm trying to get myself to focus on getting back into the healthy habits. I've got a digital subscriptions to a prenatal fitness magazine (which is kind of a lame magazine, but it does serve as inspiration). Breast feeding REALLY helped me shed pounds with DD (though it doesn't always do that for every mom), so I'm just focusing on trying to make sure I don't gain more than a healthy amount and enjoying this (my last pregnancy). I can kick it into high gear again once the baby comes. I think I'm going to train for a half marathon once I get the OK to start exercising postpartum.

Remember, if you eat healthy and keep exercising, most of the weight you gain will be boobs, fluids, baby, etc. not fat. You only need to put on a little bit of fat, and that's so you can feed your babe without making yourself unhealthy. These babes will leech nutrients right out of us if we don't make sure to get enough, that's one of the reasons moms tend to get more cavities after they've had a baby. My dentist told me the fetus can deplete your calcium stores, weakening your teeth.

Hugs. Hang in there. I understand that sense of dread. It doesn't make you a bad person or selfish. It's a very normal worry, even for mums who haven't had your history of gain and loss. By the way, you should feel damn proud of your accomplishment. Thats a lot of weir to lose, and its not easy. You must have worked very hard. And you know what that means! You can do it again. But I don't think you'll need to. smile.gif

ETA: add me to the bad skin brigade, ugh
post #5 of 7

I can relate, and I even swore I wouldn't complain because I desperately wanted this baby.  But I still feel defeated.  Not that it would have mattered whether I was pregnant or not, I couldn't lose weight for almost 2 years (then we found out I developed an autoimmune thyroid issue and that's the culprit for me), but still I feel like I've been trying so hard and now I've got to try EXTREMELY hard to not gain a ton during this pregnancy (with my 3 children I gained 45ish lbs each time, despite eating very well and exercising regularly).  I have no idea if I'll be able to drop this weight like I have so it kind of scares me.


I used to be about 135-140 (I'm 5'8"), then after my son I stuck around at 145ish, and when I got pregnant this time I INSTANTLY gained like 8ish lbs, and I have NEVER gained weight until well into the 2nd tri before.  So that was SO disheartening, because I feel like the weight is already a battle for me in pregnancy and now I have all that much more to watch out for.  I feel so frumpy right now, and I am trying to remember it is so worth it and really, I wouldn't trade this for anything, but I readily admit, it is hard.

post #6 of 7

I can relate. I have struggled with my weight since my early teens. I was 155 freshman year of highschool, 165 at graduation, 175 at my wedding four years later, and nearly 220 when I got pregnant with my first child two years after that. After I had my second son, I did Weight Watchers and got down to 146. Got divorced, gained almost 45. Did WW again and got down to 155, which is the tippy-top of the weight range they allow as a goal at WW. Then I got pregnant with this one. I've gained 15 pounds and I'm just hitting 13 weeks on Wednesday. I feel fat and gross. I don't have a cute preggo belly; I have a jelly belly. I haven't been eating well, so I hope and plan to do better from here out. And definitely heading back to WW as soon as this kiddo makes her entrance.

Edited by cathochick - 9/24/12 at 2:34pm
post #7 of 7

*HUGS* mama!  I just wanted to encourage you that even though it is unplanned, when you hold this little life, it will feel worth it...even if you gain more than you want to.  The other thing I wanted to say is that you did an amazing job losing all that weight and you are strong enough to do it again after baby comes!!  Except that if you breastfeed you'll be kicking another 500 calories to the curb every day just by feeding your baby!


This is such a crazy part of pregnancy because we just look thicker in the middle.  Once you have a big round baby belly you'll feel less frumpy.  Promise.


PS - I feel you on the acne...witch hazel has helped me get through it a little better.

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