I think it's time for me to share the birth story of Maya and an update on myself. This will be the short version, as I am not feeling well enough to sit up and type the whole thing.
After 11 hours of home labor, being about 9 cm and having pushing contractions, I had a gut feeling that we just had to go. The pain turned weird, and I couldn't believe it was "normal"
We went to the hospital, I was fully dilated. Got pain relief, and was pushing, at a +2 for a while. She was almost out, but then her heart rate accelerated to the 190's then dipped to 60's and it did it twice. At his point the doctor demanded to get her out NOW. Off to the OR.
Maya was born with thick meconium in her lungs. She was hooked to tubes, oxygen, antibiotics and other stuff for 4 days.i didn't see her for almost 24 hours. I had a tear in my uterus ("window" they called it. It felt like a tear to me...)
I got to hold her on the third day, and breastfed her the next day, once her central line was out. Things were looking up, and I got officially discharged on Thursday evening, but Maya was staying until Sunday to finish her antibiotic course and I stayed with her as "courtesy" on the same unit.she was getting strong and healthy, gaining back weight, but I started having back pain. A very long, agonizing and heart wrenching story short, after spending the two worst nights of my entire life in the ER with negligent and incompetent ER doctors and nurses, who insisted that my problem was too much poop, I was diagnosed with a kidney infection. It's the worst pain you can imagine, even comparing to labor with a torn uterus.
So Maya went home with daddy on Sunday, but I was re-admitted and treated with iv antibiotics and very powerful pain narcotics, which are preventing me from nursing her, but without which I still cannot go through a full day and night. I am getting better, pumping and dumping, and my antibiotics should be adjusted to my specific infection, once my urine cultures are finalized, and I should be able to go home on oral medications, also once they come up with adequate pain relief solution at home.
So once again,I haven't seen my baby for three days almost. She should come with daddy here today for a visit, but i can't nurse her because of a cat scan I got last night with contrast, and it is incompatible with breast milk for 24 hours after. I don't know how to NOT breast feed my baby, but we will just have to snuggle instead with a bottle I guess.
This has been a very very hard week. I miss my Maya so much it hurts to even think about it. Miss her skin and smell, little week-old body, her sweet sucking mouth, her eyes, and touch and everything about her.
Sorry, have to go lie down. More later.....