Neighbor Problems, Advice Please

[Pr3ttyPrincess]

So I live in an apartment complex, so my downstiars neighbor is literally right below my apartment. My kids are 1, 2, and 3. So they love to run and jump around all day long. I cannot let my kids outside to play because this neighbor lets her big doberman poopie all over the yard and does not clean it up, and she leaves the big 80 pound dog tied outside and leaves it unattended. This neighbor pounds on her ceiling so hard that it shakes my floors, every single time my kids play when she's home. And of course my kids go from playing and laughing so hard they are faling over, to being a shaking curled up ball on the floor screaming because it scares them. My husband has tried the "Your getting on my nerves" Pounding back method, that was let's just say epic fail. She has came to my door screaming at my husband at 10 o'clock the one morning because the kids were playing. He gave it back to her and came back inside. I took my kids outside the one day because my 2 and 3 year old wanted to help me check the mail, so i figured that worked great becauase my 1 year old was napping so I didn't have to take 3 kids to the mailbox, the mailbox is right across the driveway so it takes less than 3 minutes to get there and back. This neighbor also has flowers and other plants planted around her apartment so my girls love to go over and look at them. My two year old daughter asked me if she could see them and i said yeah we can go see them quick, The dog was tied out but I figured I was right there with my kids so it wasn't a big deal. Well I was wrong, The dog got excited and started jumping toward my 3 year old to play with her. And of course an 80 pound dog trying to play with a little 35 pound child my 3 year old daughter got scared and started crying, So I was going over to her to pick her up, she was only like 2 feet away from me, I had to chase my 2 year old daughter because she was running right for a pile of doggie crap. This neighbor came outside and started just a screaming at me because my kids were near her dog. I shouldn't have done this but I coudln't help it. I started laughing at her. Because she is so ridiculous. Your going to scream at me because my kids play? Your going to scream at me because your dog is playful? So I hate to punish my kids and I feel kind of guilty because I feel like I am punishing them but I don't let them help me get the mail anymore, They don't go see her flowers anymore, and they are NOT to go see her dog under any circumstance. My kids love the dog, they love getting the mail with me and they love seeing the flowers. I don't scream and yell in front of my kids, or at all. That was uncalled for. Now if my children were not outside with me when she did that, she would have definately seen that I'm not so nicey nice all the time. I have contacted my landlord about her screaming at us for the kids playing, I have contacted him about her pounding everytime they move, he won't do crap about it, he doesn't really care.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to deal with this psycho? She is crazy!

[delightedbutterfly]

Could you try "killing her with kindness"? Have the kids help you bake cookies and take them to her, with handmade pictures?

Is there any way that you could get some rugs to put down where the kids play, or only allow tumbling play in one room or area?

is there any drop in gym playgroups in the area where the kids could get out their rough and tumble play in a safe environment?

It *can* be difficult to know just how loud it is for her. And it does sound like the kids are being VERY loud. I could see how that could/would be annoying. Living in an apartment sometimes we do need to be alert to how we are walking, closing doors, playing and other activities that could be very loud. It is a somewhat shared living environment and unfortunately we can only change our own behavior and not someone else's.

I wish you luck, maybe someone else has an idea as to how to make it work?

[graciegal]

I love the kill her with kindness idea! Or you could get into voodoo and see if that works ;)
 

[choli]

Originally Posted by delightedbutterfly 

Could you try "killing her with kindness"? Have the kids help you bake cookies and take them to her, with handmade pictures?

Is there any way that you could get some rugs to put down where the kids play, or only allow tumbling play in one room or area?

is there any drop in gym playgroups in the area where the kids could get out their rough and tumble play in a safe environment?

It *can* be difficult to know just how loud it is for her. And it does sound like the kids are being VERY loud. I could see how that could/would be annoying. Living in an apartment sometimes we do need to be alert to how we are walking, closing doors, playing and other activities that could be very loud. It is a somewhat shared living environment and unfortunately we can only change our own behavior and not someone else's.

I wish you luck, maybe someone else has an idea as to how to make it work?

 I agree with all the above. I've lived below a family with small kids and hardwood floors. It was incredibly noisy and unpleasant because the parents refused to do anything to mitigate the problem. I live in an apartment now, and my kids are no longer small. We ALWAYS take our shoes off immediately at the front door, to cut down on noise. Lots of rugs can help.

I think you should speak to your landlord regarding the dog poop situation, that is just disgusting and I am sure must be against the complex rules. I'd also look into whether leaving a dog tied up outside unattended violates the apartment complex rules. The outdoor areas are common areas that all the tenants should be able to utilize.

[alaskanmomma]

Are you in my apartment complex? Are you me? This sounds JUST like my situation(minus poop dog and flowers). We live in condos and while they could renovate all day every day for months on end, my kids are horrible children because they are -kids- *sigh*. I figure if you don't want to risk living below kids, don't rent in a downstairs apartment. 

[pek64]

What about swapping apartments? That way the kids are below her.

And I agree that the dog poop is a problem.

[mtiger]

Living in an apartment is a shared responsibility. She needs to learn to be somewhat more tolerant. But you also need to be aware of just how loud three little ones can be. There were some good ideas above. I'd also add that it would be worth sorting out when she is NOT home and they can be louder then, and when you know she's home can perhaps be a time when you plan quieter activities.
 

[Pr3ttyPrincess]

I thought about seeing if I could swap her apartments, but I can't. Hers is a 2 bedroom and mine is 3, I need a three bedroom.

Originally Posted by pek64 

What about swapping apartments? That way the kids are below her.
And I agree that the dog poop is a problem.

[Pr3ttyPrincess]

She had her dog wearing a shock collar when they first moved in below us, this was a year ago now, She told me that she could hear my kids playing i simply said yeah I just got home from the hospital from having our son he is only 3 days old so i haven't been home in a few days. She looked at me and had the audacity to tell me that all men and children need to come with shock collars also. I went inside looked at my husband and asked him what the hell is wrong with her!

 The part I bolded is my problem. She can slam her door off and on all night long, wake the kids up all hours of the night, her dog can run back and forth across her floor and wake the kids up all hours of the night, her dog can be tied outside barking all night. But it gets better, she is gone from 7 to around 5 then she is gone from 6 to around 10.

So my kids aren't even awake in the morning when she leaves. They are eating dinner at 5 when she gets home, then it's bath pajamas etc, so for that whole hour that she is home, my kids are in the bathroom. When she gets home around 10 my kids are already in bed. The only days that she is home is Saturday and Sunday and she's not even home most of the time then either. So I don't understand what she has to complain about.

Originally Posted by alaskanmomma 

Are you in my apartment complex? Are you me? This sounds JUST like my situation(minus poop dog and flowers). We live in condos and while they could renovate all day every day for months on end, my kids are horrible children because they are -kids- *sigh*. I figure if you don't want to risk living below kids, don't rent in a downstairs apartment. 

[Pr3ttyPrincess]

voodoo definately sounds like an option at this point lol :)

Originally Posted by graciegal 

I love the kill her with kindness idea! Or you could get into voodoo and see if that works ;)
 

[Pr3ttyPrincess]

****UPDATE*****

It got better (Sarcasm) this lady went and wrote stuff all over Facebook about my husband and I, and told the world lies, like We are physically abusive to our children, our kids don't eat, they don't look well fed, they don't talk, they don't wear clothes, etc

Omg, can living here get any better? I need to move. I just need to move right away from her.

[Lovesmila]

Sometimes moving is the only option - that sounds awful!

If you both own the apartments, would she consider adding insulation to her ceiling? Or if you rent, would your landlord consider adding insulation between her ceiling and your floor? 

I'd consider laying a complaint about her to either your landlord or the complex owner, especially about the dog poop but also the antisocial behaviour, in the hopes she'd move out.

[Sharlla]

we had to move because we had some nightmare neighbors.  it was really annoying but they would pound on the ceiling anytime we made noise. they even called the cops on us once when x and i were having an argument grrrr