Oppositional Defiance.Disorder???

[RoseisRose]

Hi all,

I have a 6yo dd who has become tough to manage in the past two to four months or so.

I am thinking of taking her in for a mental health eval and just tonight came across ODD. I read the description and nearly cried because it described her to her every negative behavior.

I am wondering if anyone here has this happening and how your family has handled it.

It should be noted that she is a student at a Gifted & Talented school and I know that her level of intelligence is partially at play in her behavior due to boredom and needing to have constant brain stimulation.

Thanks in advance!

EDITED TO REMOVE CELL PHONE TYPOS
Edited by RoseisRose - 9/25/12 at 12:29pm

[heatherdeg]

What has changed in the past 2-4 mo?  Is she close to turning 7yo?  Because that's a doozy of an age (biologically and emotionally).

Originally Posted by RoseisRose 

It should be noted that she is a student at a Gifted & Talented school and I know that her level of intelligence is partially at play in her behavior due to boredom and needing to have constant brain stimulation.

This is pretty big.  And ODD overlaps with a few other things (that also overlap with gifted kids).

Have you seen the SENG Institute site?  There are some good resources there.

Otherwise, the two books that were seriously most helpful for us were:

"Beyond Logic, Consequences and Control" by Forbes and Post

(this one is 1) aimed at the adoptive community; and 2) more about attachment than defiance... but reading the first 1/3 of the book helped us a LOT)

"Positive Discipline"  by Nelson

(this one seriously worked where every other behavior management book left me laughing at their suggestions as if my kid would be worried, let alone compliant, with most of what they suggested :/  But without demeaning or destroying their sense of self-worth and the idea that you love them--which completely rocked)

And in case you haven't considered it, for some kids, dietary intervention gets them to the point of manageable.  What to try really depends on the child's current diet and state of health... kwim?  But it's worth keeping in the back of your mind.

[ChristmasLover]

 I have read that  you should not to argue with the child,  give in to the child, or react to their tantrums.  Since children with ODD are looking for your reaction, it's best not to reward their bad behavior...   try to be pretty stoic when it comes to outbursts and temper tantrums. 

In my case, this advice has helped.  My own child stops arguing and screaming pretty quickly when I become silent.  I'm available to him, but no longer engage in the conflict (trying to reason with him when he's having a temper tantrum never works anyway).