depends on the intensity of my emotions. if it is extreme i have known to stop going and interacting. mind you these are kids who my dd called sisters. the mother was demanding too many under the table requests from me and i just didnt want those kinda values around dd.
other times i hung in there for the sake of dd, when her need to play with them was greater than my need to not hang with these moms. i was ok with them not having a great time.
with any situation if one is truly miserable they win.
if both needs are equally strong then i'd try to figure out if they indeed are strong. i would question myself and check with myself to find out if it was indeed as strong as i thought. or when i was there i could handle it, but when i was away i would make stories in my head (however i am prone to sometimes make mountains out of molehills, that does not mean i imply you are doing the same)
which was not necessarily how things were. i'd also try to stay away and see what dd said. did she miss them terribly.
having said that crunchy i have to say we have truly never been 180 apart.
when i've got to the point of assessing our needs i have often discovered dd was doing it for me. even at that young age. mom you seem to have a good time, you have friends to talk to. i didnt want to stop that.
need assessment usually clears things up well.
however no matter how i felt, if that was dd's ONLY outlet or activity then i'd let it happen. over time it takes care of itself.
there is a particular girl that dd LOVES but i am not so hot on. however i couldnt stop a 10 year old. so i let it be and she discovered on her own.