New to Babywearing and Carseat Confusion

[poema304]

Hi ladies! Please bear with me... I am pregnant with my 3rd child, due in Nov. I tried to babywear my 2nd son with a sling (New Native), but he hated it and I gave up and we just toted him around in his infant car seat which conveniently attached to his stroller. This time around I *really*, *really* want to wear my baby! I've already been given a Moby Wrap and an Ergo, though if those don't work out, I'm willing to keep trying until I find something that works.

Now my conundrum is what type of carseat to get. I would like to get a convertible seat, but it won't have the same ease of being put into a stroller as an infant seat. I know I will be wearing my baby, but do those of you who wear your infants, find that you wear your baby enough that you don't really need an infant "bucket" style seat? And how about your spouses? If they go somewhere with the baby, do they just wear them too instead of toting them around in a seat? 

I'm also worried about it being very cold outside and being able to keep my baby warm enough while wearing them. Thoughts?

I really appreciate your expertise on this! I'm feeling really confused about how this will all work in the end ;)

[katelove]

We used a convertible car seat right from the start and both wore our LO all the time. We didn't even have a pram until she was about 4 months old and didn't use it much even when we got it.

We do live in a climate where extreme cold is not an issue though so I don't know if that would have changed anything for us.

[AmandaT]

I did not have a bucket-style seat, I went with a convertible from day one. I found it so much easier to go out with just her and the Ergo/sling, instead of that BIG stroller. Having two other LOs I can't imagine also trying to push a stroller! During a big storm we had here on June 30th my car got crushed and luckily I was able to borrow a car seat from our neighbors. It was a bucket seat, and that sucker was HEAVY! I don't know how people carry those around all the time, that would kill my back!

We got an umbrella stroller at my baby shower, and have used it a total of two times. DD didn't really like it, and honestly neither did I. Although my fiance is too large to wear DD in the Ergo, we can both wear her in the ring sling (although he has only gone out with her alone once, for a walk around the block ) . I find my ring sling easier than a pouch type sling (it looks like that's what a New Native is?) maybe that's another type of sling to consider? 

I actually had to stop wearing my DD in the Moby as a newborn because she would get too warm and she was a winter baby, so no worries there (once she got older and we would do different wraps this was no longer an issue)! Did the Ergo you get come with the infant insert? Without it you will not be able to wear you LO until they are 4ish months old. My DD was pretty protected from the wind with the insert, and it was an extra layer to keep her warm. 

[treegardner]

We had a bucket seat so that we could also use the stroller. I walk almost everyday, between 2-5 miles, and the stroller really helped with that.

 

[katelove]

I wasn't sure what the New Native was but yeah, we never had much joy with the pouch slings. Much easier and more comfortable for all of us with a wrap or SSC.

[annaknitsspock]

I wasn't sold on babywearing when I was pregnant, so I did buy the bucket seat, and a few time when DD was sleeping, I did carry her in it, though not often. If I had another baby, I don't think I would do even that. But really, I almost never used the stroller so I think I would have been just fine with a convertible. I DID, however, end up using the bucket seat to keep her warm in the transition from house to car (she was an October baby). In retrospect, I think that was a little paranoid; I could have just wrapped her in a warm blanket or found another solution (I've read about plenty here on MDC), but there you go. I did find the bucket helpful for that. In terms of wearing the baby on walks, he or she will be plenty warm snuggled up against you. I found warm leg warmers to be an absolute essential for winter babywearing. Once she was old enough for the Ergo (personally, I didn't really like the infant insert), we never looked back.

[poema304]

Thanks for the reassurance everyone!! I guess it comes down to whether we want a stroller or not now. I could see it being useful for my DH if for some reason he had to go run an errand with the baby without me. But I'm starting to feel we may not even need one until spring/ summer.

My Ergo does not have the insert, but I found a used one that I am going to pick up.

[TiffanyToo]

Regarding your concern about keeping your baby warm while wearing?

Please be assured that your baby will be warm as long as you wear baby to your body, with no heavy winter outerwear clothes between you two. This will allow shared body heat,  when baby is young (under 4 months old)  your body heat will help regulate baby's body temperature while baby's develops that skill to regulate its own body temperature.  You can test baby's temperature by touching the back of his neck. 

[Dove84]

We are also in a very cold climate and DD was a Sept baby, I found that myself and baby would be freezing just trying to get her from the carseat into the carrier/wrap/ whatever when we were getting in and out of the car.  Think minus 30 celcius with raging winds and snow... not fun.  So I just bundle baby up with blankets and a car seat cover and bring them into whever we are going and then if I want to carry them transfer them into the carrier.  Plus from what I have read bucket seats are safer for a NB than convertibles. 

[motherhendoula]

We had a bucket car seat (given to us) so i used it - but it stayed in the car the whole time...i loved the ease of the ring sling - i wore the sling under my coat in the car, took baby out of car seat and right into the ring sling - we live in NY but our winters average about 40 ish.... the sling i felt kept him warmer than the car seat.  Bottom line was that stroller in the car, stroller out of the car, car seat onto stroller.... was a LOT more work than baby into sling.

  I used the ring sling a lot when my older two were little - with my first i didnt really 'get it' and never wore her, but then i had a newborn and a 3 yr old and a husband (now my ex) who refused to run errands - how do you hold your 3 yr olds hand and have baby in the car seat, and reach into your wallet to pay for milk/gas/cigarettes?    the sling became a lifesaver! 

With my two yr old - i live on the second floor, so i put him in the sling, grab my bags and come downstairs - i dont think i could have navigated it so well if i didnt have the sling

[sassyfirechick]

November baby in a decently cold climate with hand-me-down bucket seat - I HATED it!  It was so damn awkward to carry and then bc I didn't like the carseat/stroller combos (just too much crap for me and I wanted a 3 wheel jogger for trails) it was hard to figure out what to do with her shopping if we took her inside in the bucket.  Needless to say I bought her a convertable seat at 2mos and haven't looked back!  Cold weather was not an issue for us with the ring sling - I wore one of DH's winter jackets so it would fit over baby and I and she would sleep in the sling at the dog park for an hour in freezing temps with no problem.  If it was super cold I would climb into the back seat to get her in the sling before heading out of the car.  I think it depends on the size of the baby.  DD was never really 'small' - 7.5lbs at birth, 19inches, so average, but she grew really fast and could hold her head incredibly well right from the start so I could have gone with a convertible seat from day one had I known more.  Next baby for us I won't be buying a bucket seat only to transfer to a convertible a month or 2 later.  Our bucket is already over 5yrs old having come to us from a friend so I wouldn't want to use it again anyways.

As for the babywearing, moby worked great the first few mos and while DH couldn't figure out how to wrap it himself, he loved the skin time with DD so we both used it alot.  Got myself a ring sling at about 4mos and absolutely love it.  Super easy, super comfy, I've been able to do quite a few diff carries with no issues, and MUCH easier for DH or the IL's to use.  DD loved the warmth, and honestly if she wasn't sweating, she wasn't happy!

[fruitfulmomma]

We ditched the buckets with number 5 and she was a December baby. I have a pretty stretchy fleece coat that goes around me and baby. You can also buy special made coats for babywearing.

[MissAnthrope]

We had a bucket seat for our preemies, but we never used it to carry them around.  The angle of the seat can cause the airway of a small infant to close (new recommendations are to limit the time babies spend in the bucket to driving time and take hourly breaks on long trips to make sure they stay well-oxygenated), the height of the seat when used to carry a baby around isn't good for their development (staring at knees vs. staring at faces), the extra motion worsens reflux, there's no safe way to put a bucket seat in a shopping cart, the pressure on the head contributes to flattening...and on top of all that, it's so heavy and bulky I can't imagine lugging it around to be easier than carrying a baby.  Upright (worn or in arms) is always better.

We actually don't even own a stroller-- never have.  We wear or hold our babies until they are walking well and following directions okay (around 18mo), and then they trot along beside us or we pull them around in our Radio Flyer wagon for longer or more complicated outings (like the zoo, the farmer's market, etc.).  My DH prefers back carries to front carries because he feels they interrupt his stride less-- we have a himba for that (like a mei tai or an Ergo)-- but on the rare occasions he took one of our babies someplace without me when they were really little, he had no problem using the front wrap cross.

Our termie was a November baby in rural NY, and when he was tiny tiny I wore him in a wrap on my front and just put my maternity coat over both of us.  Ponchos with deep v-necks work well, too-- slide one end of the V over baby's head, the other end should be right at your neck.  And of course wrapping yourself and baby up with a nice wool blanket has been all the rage in North America for the past four thousand years or so :)

[avismama24]

I realize this is an older post, but since your baby is not here yet, I thought I would chime in! I have used the moby for when my son was young (newborn to 6months), and even now when we are doing a simple errand like grocery shopping etc, and the ERGO, extensively. I love everthing about baby carrying and we never, ever carried him in his car seat, so we did not get anything fancy. Our son's car seat stays in the car 100% of the time. We also only introduced a stroller in the past month as I got back into a regular running routine and as you can imagine it is quite difficult to run with a baby on your back ;) But besides my am runs we never use a stroller, I find baby wearing to be much, much easier.

I hope all the responses you got are helpful. Also, babywearing should be about making the quality of you and your babies time, better, easier, more attached and more relaxed. I'm sure you will find a path that works for you. A carried baby, is a happy baby!

[Littlebmama]

We did a combo with my son. I wore him in my Ellaroo and my husband used the Ergo with a newborn insert. There were so many times that having the bucket seat made life sooooo much easier. If he was asleep we could just bring him inside and let him nap. It's much easier to get them all strapped in and then just clip the cars eat in the car. I loved having the ability to clip the seat onto the stroller when he was sleeping and then put him in a carrier when he was awake. There are several options for blankets and snuggle things to keep them warm in the carrier. I haven't tried any since we live in San Diego.

[avismama24]

We found that with my son who would sometimes fall asleep in the car seat on the drive to our destination that he transfered easily to the moby or ergo and easily fell back asleep. He would also stay alseep for a long time this way because he felt very safe and attached to his mama. It made doing things with friends and running errands easy bc we didn't have to plan around every single nap, he could simply sleep or eat whenever he needed to.
 

[Mom2M]

I wore my November baby a lot but it does get cold and windy here and I loved having the bucket to transfer from the car to wherever we were going. She never would stay asleep if I tried to move her from the seat to a carrier so that made it worse with a crying baby and freezing cold weather. You don't have to use the stroller for long periods of time if you don't want to and we had no issues with head flattening and airway problems even if we left her in the seat and stroller for a trip into the grocery store. We also had a frame that allowed us to put the car seat into the Bob jogger for long runs with the dogs and it worked great. There was no way I could wear her for that and not shake her around too much. Don't feel guilty if you want a bucket for the convenience sometimes. You can still wear your baby a LOT! And once it is nice outside, it's easy to get her out and put her in whatever carrier you decide to use straight from the car.
Good luck, I hope you have a great birth!

[merbear0929]

Like others have said, I had a bucket seat, but it stayed in the car about 98% of the time. My daughter almost never falls asleep in the car, so I didn't have to worry about waking her. Plus, with a two year old as well, I couldn't have carried the car seat and also get him in and out of the car and into wherever we were going. I used a moby for the first few months, and my Ergo or baby hawk mei tai from 4 months on.

[vanni]

We live in a cold climate and my daughter was born in November. I really hated carrying the bucket seat around, BUT the one advantage was that I could take her into the house in the seat while she was sleeping and let her keep sleeping for a little while while I used the bathroom, took my shoes off, etc. However, in general, she HATED the car and screamed for every ride (not one of those babies soothed by long drives).

It's worth checking out which car seats have flame retardants and other chemicals in them. I started with a Chicco and then came upon an EWG report that listed that particular carseat as "medium" toxic. I promptly stopped using it as soon as she was 16 lbs and could switch to an Orbit toddler seat. The orbit seats are very overpriced (we did not purchase the rotating base in order to save $$), but for me it was worth it to avoid the flame retardants, lead, etc.

[Quinalla]

I like having the bucket in the cold because I can get the baby all strapped inside the house/daycare and then just attach to the base and go and it is just less awkward to get an infant strapped in with a bucket accessible from all sides IMO. For me, I never had a stroller that it attached to so that wasn't an issue, I used one of my carriers or just held her when we were out and about, occasionally I would keep her in the bucket if she was sleeping, but she hated being in it while still, so I couldn't leave her in it if she was awake for long. So if you like the bucket for those reasons too, you might want to still get one, but it is another thing to buy so it has to be worth it!