I am so confused. I really thought we might be trying for a home birth this time. When we had DD, 3 years ago, we had a midwife and started at a birth center, but ended up needing to transfer to a hospital. There were some things that I loved about our midwife, but others that I was not happy with. My thoughts were that not being a first time mom this time, I could overlook some of the negatives and being at home would help too.
I had my first ob appt. a week ago. Two ob appts are required here and since there isn't an ob in our area willing to work with the direct entry midwives here, I randomly picked someone that my insurance would cover. The thing is, I really liked this ob! When we arrived at our appt. I was told that the us they were going to do would be vaginal. I was clearly uncomfortable (we did not have any us with DD) and the us tech offered to go find the doctor to see if we had to do it. She can in and was like no worries, most people want to do it so the front office probably thinks it is required (what I was told) but I could pass if I wanted to and she would see me in an hour for my appt. I was so relieved! I thought for sure I would be kicked out, or labeled as "difficult" before I even made it to my appointment.
The appointment itself was equally pleasant, and I feel that I can have a really good experience with this practice. The ob kind of had a handle on where I was coming from after our earlier encounter and answered almost all of my questions up front before I even had to ask.
The down sides would be that I would be giving birth in a hospital, and there is a required heplock. (I am not fond of needles or things being attached to me.) These are minor. I had a good experience last time when I transfered to the hospital, so it kind of eliminated the big scary hospital fear for me a bit. The biggest downside would be the required post birth hospital stay, and all the trips my DP would have to make with the new little one to the nursery for the constant weigh-ins etc. He wasn't allowed to let DD out of his sight last time! Oh and the don't shake the baby video! I made DP watch it last time and he would have to do it again. (He tried to say that this time was my turn, but I pulled the labor card!)
Even their lab techs/nurses were awesome and distracted me while drawing blood so that I wouldn't pass out. (again with the needles.)
*Sigh* I guess if I could find another midwife in our area, that I liked, it might change things. I don't really want to travel a couple of hours for appointments with the next closest midwife.
I think my confusion is because I didn't think I would be abandoning my desire to have a home birth. But this really does sound like the right decision........ And I can't lie. Having our insurance cover some of our expenses this time would be a plus!
Any one else do something like this? I just can't shake the feeling that I am selling out/letting someone down/lame.
Thanks for letting me ramble.